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That’s awful, eating run over Muppet!
O: Why do you think there are so many Jews in comedy?
MIB: Because big noses are funny.
DW: Also, a lot of Jews have sort of thin, spindly fingers they use to take money out of cash registers. That’s very funny.
MS: If you prick them, do they not bleed?
If you were a fan of The State, MTV’s classic sketch comedy show, you’ll love Stella, the new comedy troupe composed of the leftover members of The State that aren’t, incidentally, on Reno 911.
The group, which features Michael Showalter, Michael Ian Black (aka Michael Ian Schwartz “which I changed because I’m ashamed of being Jewish”), and David Wain, also recently appeared in the film Wet Hot American Summer, which only two years after its initial release, enjoys a major cult status.
That being said, the film will be screening at midnight this Friday and Saturday at the AMC on 42nd Street, with appearances by the cast & crew, live performances by Peter Salett & Mr. Blue, and even a character-costume contest. Get your tickets quick!
Also be sure to check out their interview in The Onion last month. It’s a riot.
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Bais Yaakov Rebbe Popped For Embezzlement
“A high-powered Brooklyn rabbi, who’s poured thousands of dollars into politicians’ campaign coffers, was busted yesterday on charges of stealing $700,000 in federal funds meant to help a school for Jewish children.
“Milton Balkany, the longtime dean of girls school Bais Yaakov of Brooklyn, used the cash to pay off his credit cards, bankroll family-connected companies and reward other rabbis and Jewish organizations, the feds charge.” (c/o grubness)
Being one of the most well connected Heebs in Brooklyn, a political broker and so-called “king maker,” some suspect this may be some sort of political coup.
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Where You Frum?
Well, if you haven’t been living under a rock, by now you’re more than certain familiar with the cybercultural phenomenon that is Friendster—the online dating site that helps you meet new people through your mutual acquaintances.
And being that no online fad can go unmocked, of course there have been droves of Friendster parodies such as Fiendster, Introvertster, and even the dreaded STDster.
Frumster, on the other hand, was something we never saw coming…And probably should of thought of ourselves. (c/o Starre)
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Feel the Burn!
The Temporary Autonomous Zone is open for bidness—Burning Man 2003 is nigh. And whether it be Rainbow, Goa, or anywhere the vibe is this strong, you’re bound to find a minyan. Congregation B’nai Hamidbar represents at this summer’s gathering of the tribes in Black Rock, Arizona.
For several years, the Jewish community at Burning Man has held wonderful Friday night gatherings of prayer, song, dancing, and food. Now, as part of the Beyond Belief theme of Burning Man 2003, we are proud to inaugurate Congregation B’nai Hamidbar (”Children of the Desert”), a new home for radical Jewish self-transcendence.
The Jewish encampment will hold it down from Aug. 24-Sept. 1. If you make it to this year’s burn, at least you know you’ve got where to go for Shabbos! (c/o jay m.)
For great shots from previous years’ Burning Man, check out my friend Gabe’s site, gabekphoto.com. Also, Fray publisher Derek Powazek, who authored “The Scar” (blogged here a couple months back), is counting down the days to Burning Man on his blog with photos and stories from Burning Mans past.
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Jewish Soap (Not the Holocaust Kind!)
An Israeli soap opera aims to bring insight to the complexities of ultra-orthodox life and narrow the gap between the hareidi and secular Israeli communities.
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BARUCH HASHEM!
“My identifying with this entity and my fulfilling the rituals, etcetera, of the entity — that has ended.”
dr. laura renounces judaism! praise jah! one less person we don’t need on our side…
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Radicalism and Jewish Values
“We are now the conservatives. They are the radicals. This is a major revolution in meaning with which we need to contend.”
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arbeiters and writers
the jewish labor committe, along with the congress for jewish culture and the yiddish forward have organized a gathering to commemorate the jewish writers murdered in the lubyanka prison in moscow on aug. 12, 1952.
the program will feature poems, songs and memoirs read by poets, actors, and scholars of yiddish including sholem berger, thomas bird, yontev derbaremdiker, dr. paul glasser, emanuel s. goldsmith, beyle schaechter-gottesman, pearl lang, moyshe loyev, david rogow, charne schaechter, yelena shmulenson, joseph weissman, and hy wolfe.
the event will take place tomorrow—tuesday, august 12 at 6 pm at congregation habonim, 44 west 66th street b/t cpw & columbus.
to learn more on this subject, check out stalin’s secret pogrom, by joshua rubenstein & vladimir p. naumov.
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hebrews get noticed
after a 30-some-odd year struggle for citizenship, the black hebrews have been granted permanent residency in dimona by the nation of israel.
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the rudeboy rebbe
here’s a little taster from mattisyahu’s forthcoming LP connective redirective, coming next spring from jdub records… “close my eyes” — 7.7mb 192k mp3.
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Inspring Kabbalah Through Fiction
Rabbi Mitchell Chefitz, of South Florida has written the first two in a series of fictional novels which also serve as an introduction to Kabbalah. The Seventh Telling, and The Thirty Third Hour are about real modern Jews studying Kabblah and relating it to their lives in a meaningful way that is empowering and exciting (as opposed to, you know, cultish). The newly appointed Rabbi of Temple Israel of Greater Miami, I had the privilege of meeting Rabbi Chefitz this week at the National Havurah Committee’s annual summer institute.
Ahoy, organized anarchy!
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A Little Comparative Mythology for the 9th of Av
Today is Tisha B’Av, the 9th of Av, a day which commemorates the destruction of the Holy Temple of Jerusalem, the Bays HaMikdash, by both the Babylonians in 586 BCE, and again by the Romans in 70CE.
photo c/o grubness
The Talmud teaches that the second temple was destroyed for the sin of “baseless hatred”—the mistreatment of a fellow human being without particular cause or reason. The story goes something like this…
A man wanted to throw a party for all his friends, so he drew up a guest list and instructed his servant to send out the invitations. One of the men on the guest list was named “Kamtza,” but the servant made a mistake and invited “Bar Kamtza” instead. Oops - Bar Kamtza was actually a sworn enemy of the host!When Bar Kamtza received his invitation, he was very grateful thinking that the host had finally made amends. But when Bar Kamtza showed up at the party, the host took one look and told his servant to have Bar Kamtza immediately removed from the premises.
When asked to leave, Bar Kamtza said: “I understand the mistake. But it’s embarrassing for me to leave the party. I’ll gladly pay the cost of my meal if you’ll allow me to stay.”
The host would hear nothing of this, and reiterated his demand to have Bar Kamtza removed.
Bar Kamtza appealed again: “I’d even be willing to pay HALF the cost of the entire party, if only I’d be allowed to stay.”
Again the request was denied. At which point, the distraught Bar Kamtza pleaded: “I’ll pay for the entire party! Just please don’t embarrass me in this way!”
The host, however, stuck to his guns and threw Bar Kamtza out. The Talmud reports that Bar Kamtza was so hurt and upset, that he went straight to the Roman authorities and gave slanderous reports of disloyal behavior among the Jews. This fueled the Romans’ anger, and they proceeded to attack and destroy the Holy Temple.
—Talmud, Gittin 5 (c/o Aish)
Similarly, in the mythos of the Discordians (followers of the Greek goddess Eris, the goddess of chaos), practically the same story is told, but within a different mythological context.
It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.
This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold and inscribed upon it KALLISTI (”To The Prettiest One”) and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog.
Now, three of the invited goddesses, Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything.
Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.
Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite’s bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed.
As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men.
And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.
Do you believe that?
— The Principia Discordia (c/o principiadiscordia.com)
Pretty interesting, huh? You have to wonder if the presence of Greeks in Jerusalem had an influence on the Talmud or if the influence of Jews on the Greeks impressed upon the Greek mythos. Either way, it’s an important lesson to learn, regardless of its origins: Don’t be a dick.
Anyhow, today, we read from the book of Eicha, Lamentations, a beautiful and riveting yet unnerving piece of biblical poetry, which you can read and hear [stream/download] in Hebrew or read and hear in English online. For more on Tisha B’Av, visit Aish HaTorah or The Orthodox Union online.
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Reign of the May King
Dubbed “Poet Laureate of the Beat Generation,” Allen Ginsberg is arguably one of the most influential poets in literary history, continuing in the traditon of such greats as Blake, Whitman and Williams. A writer, photographer, filmmaker, political activist, first generation JuBu, and champion for queer rights (and incidentally a card carrying member of NAMBLA), Ginsberg’s vast cultural contributions are present throughout the entire latter-half of the 20th century, and have left an indellible mark on New York City’s artistic community, as well as that of the world abroad’s.
Thus it is only natural that adulations of his work should ring out across the city this summer, manifest in two events inspired by his two most prominent works.
August 20th-26th is Ginzy week, as HOWL!: The 1st Annual Festival of East Village Arts conquers Tompkin’s Square. Taking it’s name, of course, from Ginsberg’s seminal poem “Howl,” the event will be comprised of the 1st Annual East Village Film Festival, the Charlie Parker Jazz Festival, the 19th Annual Wigstock Festival (a drag queen convention), and last, but certainly not least, the 1st Annual Allen Ginsberg Poetry Festival.
The festival is the work of the Federation of East Village Artists (FEVA), a group which “honors the historic role of the East Village as the cradle of the city’s, if not the world’s, counterculture.” The Federation is interested in forming a union to help struggling artists stay afloat with healthcare and financial support, as well as a “Smithsonian of the Counterculture”—a museum which would house the treasures of New York City’s subversive past.
Volunteers are still needed for the event, so help out if you can. It’s gonna be an amazing week! (Too bad my Bjork tix are for the night the poetry fest kicks off! Grrr!)
Pushing the vibe to the brink of Autumn, Israel’s national theatre company Habima, will be in residency at Symphony Space, September 18-21, performing “Kaddish L’Naomi,” a drama based on Ginsberg’s classic poem “Kaddish.” The play, which will be performed in Hebrew with English supertitles, depicts “Ginsberg’s boyhood and his mother’s decline into madness.” (What the hell is a supertitle?)
The event marks Habima’s first visit to America in over 40 years, and will feature leading Israeli actress Gila Almagor. On September 16, Almagor will appear with director Hanon Snir at the JCC in Manhattan (where I work) for a behind-the-scenes discussion of the piece. Tickets go on sale later this week.
Regardless of your feelings towards the war-embroiled nation, don’t make Israeli artists suffer for the acts of their government: If you’re a Ginsberg fan, you should definitely check it out.
Contest — The first person to accurately explain the May King reference without using a search engine will win a Jewschool trucker hat. Jewschool crew excluded. That means you Shred Lexicon! Post responses to comments.
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now this is just really wrong
“Israel’s parliament passed a measure Thursday that would force Palestinians who marry Israelis to live separate lives or move out of Israel. The government said the law was necessary to prevent terror attacks, but critics called it racist.”
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