by sarah [➚] · Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
Newsday reports that Israeli gorillas are keeping kosher for Pesach, out of deference to zookeepers who cannot handle leavened bread during the holiday. Apparently the gorillas usually eat bread and cream cheese for breakfast (bettach!), so the change in diet is just as traumatic for them as it is for their primate cousins on the other side of the bars.
The zoo tries to limit their intake to just one or two crackers a day to prevent them from suffering from the most common side-effect of matzo — constipation.
“If they eat too much it does cause stomach problems, so we hope that our public this week will not be feeding their own matzo to the animals,” Emelia Turkel, the zoo’s curator said.
Full story.
by Lilit [➚] · Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
I guess working at Heeb has made me jaded. After two of my fellow magazine staffers, Joshua Neuman (editor/publisher) and David Deutsch (humor editor) presented me with an early copy of their new book, The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies, I was ready to be offended in that amusing, Heeby way. I knew how much flak they’d gotten about it and how many groups were ready to attack the book before they even read it.
I’m a firm believer that we have to own our humor, that only when we make fun of something serious can we make it whole. Joshua and David definitely do that, examining such myths as Jews using the blood of Christians in their matzoh or running the media. It’s the less-repeated stories that are funnier, such as Goliath throwing the match with David at the behest of a Jewish bookie. However, it’s hard not to feel like they were holding something back. A lot of the funniest comments are in the footnotes. It’s almost as if the book could have been more offensive, but someone edited out a few choice sentences.
Needless to say, I enjoyed reading this book on the subway, noticing the various reactions I got from different L train denizens. Pick it up if you’re willing to laugh at yourself. After all, what Jewish stereotype is better than the one about how funny we all are?
Also, for NYers, there’s a “Meet The Authors” reading and signing tomorrow night at the Astor Place Barnes and Noble. Check the Heeb (www.heebmagazine.com) events page for more.
by Harry [➚] · Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
Everyone’s favorite hasidic reggae superstar, Matisyahu has gotten a shitload of press this week upon the release of his new album, Live at Stubb’s: Austin (which is currently #37 on Amazon).
Check out this review of Matisyahu’s sold out Irving Plaza show at the popular indie music blog, Brooklyn Vegan.
So I went to the sold out show at Irving Plaza (capacity 1000?) Sunday night (April 17, 2005), and I realized that he was more than really good. If I do a ‘top ten shows of the year,’ this one has a serious shot at making the list. And where have I been? There were more people looking for extra tickets than outside The Arcade Fire. There were more people dancing than Bloc Party. There were more people crowd surfing than at Mudvayne.
Matisiyahu raps better than M.I.A., sings better than Annie, and is even more inspirational than Kimya Dawson. And as far as reggae goes, he hangs with the best of them. If you don’t believe me, look at the flyer for Carifest happening at Randall’s Island in NYC on July 10th. (he beatboxes too)
Respect.
The Associated Press and Rolling Stone both show their love!
Golly, I haven’t been this excited about a Jewish musician since Evan & Jaron!
by Mobius [➚] · Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
The London Times reports,
Ratzinger’s past includes brief membership of the Hitler Youth movement and wartime service with a German army [...] anti-aircraft unit that protected a BMW factory making aircraft engines. The workforce included slaves from Dachau concentration camp. Ratzinger has insisted he never took part in combat or fired a shot – adding that his gun was not even loaded – because of a badly infected finger. He was sent to Hungary, where he set up tank traps and saw Jews being herded to death camps.
According to Wikipedia,
On November 25, 1981 Pope John Paul II named Ratzinger prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, formerly known as the Holy Office of the Inquisition, which was renamed in 1908 by Pope Pius X.
Ratzinger also has a history of making comments which have been denounced as theological antisemitism. (c/o BoingBoing)
It would seem that the Catholic Church wants to make up for all those years of having a Jew-friendly Pope. Or not. Apparently Ratzinger’s been good to the people he once helped exterminate. The JTA reports,
But he also used his position as the Vatican’s chief theologian under John Paul II to play an instrumental part in his predecessor’s historic rapprochement with the Jews. In 2000, under Ratzinger’s editorial direction, the Vatican released “Memory and Reconciliation: The Church and the Faults of the Past,” a watershed document that acknowledged church errors in its past dealings with Jews, asking “whether the Nazi persecution of the Jews was not made easier by the anti-Jewish prejudices imbedded in some Christian minds and hearts.”
Ratzinger also oversaw the 2002 publication of “The Jewish People and Their Sacred Scriptures,” which asserted that “the Jewish messianic wait is not in vain” and expressed regret that certain passages in the Christian Bible condemning individual Jews have been used to justify anti-Semitism.
Meh. Someone’s got a guilty conscience.
by Mobius [➚] · Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
Rabbi David Fine, the rabbi of an Orthodox congregation in Oberland Park, Kansas — who is not exactly known for being a “tough” man — found himself in an altercation with a neo-Nazi earlier today at the Kansas City International airport. After a brief shouting match, the rav tossed a cup of coffee in the f*cker’s face and gave him a decent tolchok before an all-out brawl ensued. Mad props from the Jewschool crew to the esteemed rav for having the bayztim to take a stand. It’s never okay to the throw the first punch…unless yer schoolin’ a Nazi scumf*ck. Amen.
by Jake Marmer [➚] · Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
I am strictly leftist
back against the wall, and you, at the edge of the bed,
are the right-wing extremist
this dawns on me, sometime around 4 am, as
I sneeze and reach over to give your right-wing ass
a half-conscious squeeze
and then profess this little political bedroom break-down
go back to sleep
you say, I don’t want to be hearing any of that now –
you probably really wouldn’t mind my trotskist spot by the wall
and I should be the one closer to the alarm button anyhow
to slam it and quietly trot out to breakfast proceedings,
instead of rolling over you, like a tank
by John Brown [➚] · Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
Uri Bank, a leader of the pro-settlement (and pro-’transfer’) Moledet party says:
“We break up Arab continuity and their claim to East Jerusalem by putting in isolated islands of Jewish presence in areas of Arab population. Then we definitely try to put these together to form our own continuity. It’s just like Legos – you put the pieces out there and connect the dots. That is Zionism. That is the way the state of Israel was built. Our eventual goal is Jewish continuity in all of Jerusalem.”
by moses [➚] · Monday, April 18th, 2005
They report that people are waiting for a chimney to smoke, yet I know not one. Plenty of smoke bellowed from chimneys not too long ago and people waited then too. Not bringing up the memory of 6million, partly because I rarely talk about it and in part that it would interfere with the festive mood of our “time of liberation.” Pharaoh sought to kill out the Jew boy’s, sultry Jewish mom’s forced their husbands to conceive with them… yet a huge portion of the Jews did not leave Egypt. They scoffed at G-d (and for various other reasons).
A positive word before I continue: As Bob M. said: “When I was just a kid my momma used to sing this son… this train is bound for glory … this train carry no one unholy” — every Jew will leave this Exile Alive.
There is a cardinal in a conclave named Aaron (Jean-Marie) Lustiger. His mom was killed by the Nazis. He converted at 14, you can find out all about him elsewhere. He is the point of this blogg I am not one to sit Shivah, I have heard of people sitting Shiva for their kids, by I haven’t met a mom that has, though I have met son’s who have been sat for (shout out to Heshy in Thai). Can you imagine his parents up on High looking at their son’s life? Supposedly he told Elie Wiesel that he “was born a Jew and will die a Jew.” What kind of Jew? A Jew like me and you, no doubt. Except, he is a childless Jew.
Parents want grandkids, G-d needs kids, and kids bring Redemption. The future of our people has always been reliant on having Jewish children. And it still is the deciding factor (amongst all left right and swing factors) of our peoples continued existence. The saddest thing (I have decided) to his parents is that he took away the opportunity from himself to be with a woman and to give her a babe. Granted it is not too late, he still could produce an offspring. Provided he could learn at this age to be with a woman. I am not making light, I wish he would. It pains so many people to see this man wearing a red skullcap… he doesn’t belong where he is. None of us do. We belong as a free people, living amongst G-d, like former enemies working side by side. I can not reach Aaron Lustiger right now — partly because he is locked away choosing his next father figure (orphaned), largely because I am not allowed to roam where he tries to feel at home. It is you that I request an ear: have Jewish children. Help yourselves. A vivacious (playa) young man asked me once for a blessing to have lots of sex… “May you have heaps of the best sex” I told him “and no sex is greater then unprotected sex.” In the right time, to your wives and husbands — please G-d, may you do all you can to have Jewish children.
by Bradford [➚] · Monday, April 18th, 2005
We at AJL magazine did a profile on Atlanta-native comedian/actor — and oddly named member of the tribe — David Cross in our last issue, and we especially focused on his stellar work on the stellar show “Arrested Development.” Much has been made since then about the peculiar reality that such a succesful and popular show is facing the possibility of cancellation.
Well, now Fox is pitching in to help out — but not by just granting the show another season. No, that would be too easy. Instead, the network that, ummm… has the power to keep the show alive, is asking us (the fans) to ummm… keep the show alive.
The NYTimes has a write-up on the odd little stunt, but let’s simplify it for you:
- Fox News has the power to re-up for another season, but they don’t do that.
- Instead they design GetArrested.com, a faux-grassroots petition site where you can take the “Arrested Development Loyalty Oath.”
- 54,000+ (as of this post) people go to said site and sign said oath.
- We still have to wait another month to find out if they’re going to bring the damn show back.
My head hurts, but if you’re still confused, hopefully this quote will help, courtesy of Fox spokesman Joe Earley: “Everyone is accustomed to fans rallying to save a show. We thought, what if we could find a way to take that energy and say to fans, ‘instead of complaining to us, find someone else to watch the show.’”
by The Town Crier [➚] · Monday, April 18th, 2005
Tactless, shameless, insulting revolting, false and cowardly. Chilul Hashem 101: stoptheexpulsion.com.
by Mobius [➚] · Sunday, April 17th, 2005
My boy Joseph put me on to this hott new haggadah which we’ll be using for our second seder (a “freedom seder” — which is non-obligatory, of course, being that we’re in Jerusalem, but which we’re excited about nonetheless) this coming Pesach:
Are you looking for a politically progressive, anti-racist haggadah that includes beautiful writing, ritual, humor and reflection? Wish you could find a haggadah that is in solidarity with Palestinian liberation, and also rich with multicultural Jewish traditions and history? Searching for something to help you to talk with family and friends about the connection between your political work and the Jewish tradition of fighting for freedom and liberation?
Then you, my friend, have come to the right place!
The Love and Justice in times of war HAGGADAH ZINE is your source for creating a choose-your-own-adventure progressive seder. This haggadah is fully accessible for folks who have never organized a seder, or are new to celebrating Passover: it includes transliterations, translations, a glossary, a resource list, and stories from some of our friends about what Jewishness and Passover mean to them. It is easily reproduce-able, so that you can easily copy as-is or cut and paste, to create haggadot for your own seder.
We have drawn from many wonderful progressive haggadot from the last few decades, focusing on various political and social justice issues. We are indebted to all of the folks who have created these materials, and we have used selections from many of these, with much respect and our best attempts to credit our sources. This project has been created and compiled in the spirit of very small-scale DIY anti-copyright self-publishing.
You can download it as a PDF here online, and then, if you want, take it to a copy shop and make double-sided copies, to create a 25-page booklet. Or, order printed copies through paypal.
Viva la Pesach revolucion!
by Mobius [➚] · Sunday, April 17th, 2005
Earth shattering news folks! BBC reports,
A leading Israeli rabbi has ruled that the anti-impotency pill Viagra can be taken by Jews on Passover, reversing a previous ban.
Viagra had been deemed not kosher since 1998 under strict dietary laws over the week-long Jewish spring holiday.
Rabbi Mordechai Eliahu said the pill can be swallowed if it is encased in a special soluble kosher capsule first.
Viagra’s Israeli manufacturers said they sought an answer after receiving queries from worried religious men.
Full story…
by Ronen [➚] · Sunday, April 17th, 2005
Those of you that are concerned with the Middle East should see The Dreams of Sparrows, the first documentary film by an Iraqi filmmaker to be made in post-Saddam Iraq. I had the opportunity to work on this film, and I think it will be of interest to many JewSchool readers.
The Dreams of Sparrows follows first time Iraqi director Hayder Mousa Daffar and his team of contributing directors as they share their vision of life in Baghdad, post war, pre-reconstruction and mid-chaos. The film attempts to reconcile the conflicting points of view among Iraqis regarding the war, Saddam Hussein and the occupation.
Some recent press includes a Q&A with the director in Newsweek (on newsstands tomorrow), an interview and preview that aired as part of BBC’s “The World” program on NPR, and a review on Filmthreat which calls it “a frightening, eye-opening kick in the butt” and awards it 4 stars out of 5.
If you’d like to understand the holy mess that is post-war Iraq, the hope and the fear that pervades daily life there, you can order your copy of The Dreams of Sparrows on DVD today.
On a personal note, I must add that composing the music for this film was at once an arduous and inspiring task; a true labor of love. It’s not often that a composer gets to work on a project of such significance, and I feel that the original score is some of my best work to date. Feel free to listen to a sample from the score or buy the soundtrack CD.
For once this isn’t about left vs. right or religious vs. secular. It goes without saying that the situation in Iraq carries tremendous importance to both Israel and America in the future. If you want to understand the complexities of that society, you need to see this movie.
by Mobius [➚] · Sunday, April 17th, 2005
Stand-up comedienne Amanda Egge urges her fellow shiksas to show their love for the circumcised member with these naughty new tees. Pick one up at her website for $15 smackers, or roughly 68 shmekels. Er, I mean, shekels.
by Mobius [➚] · Sunday, April 17th, 2005
Naomi Chazan writes in The Miami Herald:
Passover is the festival of Jewish emancipation from slavery and the prejudice, injustice, and inhumanity it entails. Over the centuries, this holiday — which coincides with the joy of spring — has come to symbolize the universal quest for individual and collective freedom.
This year, the Passover season serves as a painful reminder that those who systematically deny others their liberty and trample on their basic rights cannot themselves be truly independent. Israel has controlled the West Bank and the Gaza Strip since 1967, and continues to do so against the will of the Palestinians, who have repeatedly resisted Israeli rule.
It’s a provoking piece, and is made all the more relevant by the following portion of text, written in Mea Sharim thirty years ago:
The homiletical explanation of the Talmud Yerushalmi Rosh Hashana on the sentence “and He commanded the Jewish people” is that He commanded that they release their own slaves. This is deduced from Jeremiah (34.13):
“Thus says the Lord, I made a covenant with your Fathers on the day I took them out from the Land of Egypt, from the house of bondage saying at the end of seven years each person shall release his Hebrew slave.”
The Rabbis explain that the meaning of the phrase “On the day that I took you out” indicates that this command to release slaves was given in Egypt before the receiving of the Torah.
Thus the sentence “and He commanded the Jewish people and Pharoh King of Egypt to release the Children of Israel out of the land of Egypt” is explained as referring to the Jewish people as well.
Thus “to release the Jewish people from the land of Egypt” refers both to those who didn’t want to leave (that they should understand the superiority of freedom over slavery) and to the rich, that they should release their slaves immediately.
This is how I have understood the manuscript Yalkut Albichani. “What did He command the Jewish people? He commanded that they should release their slaves in order that they should go out free themselves;” a command not just for future generations but also given at that moment as well.
From the above Yalkut “in order that they should go free” one can see a fundamental ethical idea: Namely that a human being is not worthy to be free, truly liberated, if he enslaves others.
This essential justice, this prinicple of the love of humanity, ie., “What is hateful to you don’t do to your fellow,” the Torah proclaimed more than 3,200 years ago as the very first command given to the Jewish people in Egypt.
To our great sorrow this thought has still not penetrated the hearts of men. Who knows when enlightenment will dawn?
Who were the Jewish slave owners in Egypt? Apparently there’s a midrash which explains it was the Levites — hence why they become servants, and are not entitled to a portion of the land of Israel.
Who are the slave owners today? As Ms. Chazan suggests, we should each take a good hard look in the mirror…
by Mobius [➚] · Sunday, April 17th, 2005
The NY Daily News‘ Michael Goodwin writes,
Mark the day: It was last Thursday when Michael Bloomberg became just another politician. From that day on, he can no longer boast he’s not beholden to any special interest. If he tries, say, “Sorry, Mayor, but I have two words for you: Lenora Fulani.” End of argument.
By refusing to sever his ties with Fulani, a classic anti-Semite wrapped in the guise of an activist, Bloomberg has put his reelection bid ahead of all else. You can’t get any more political than that.
Read on…
According to the AJC,
Fulani, a longtime leader of a political cult, defended her claim that Jews “had to sell their souls to acquire Israel and are required to do the dirtiest work of capitalism – to function as mass murderers of people of color – in order to keep it.” Not only did she assert that that comment was not anti-Semitic, she said that it raised “issues that I think need to be explored.”
Read their press release here.
by Mobius [➚] · Sunday, April 17th, 2005
The Baltimore Sun reports,
As she perfected a yoga pose demanding a balance of strength and surrender, Myriam Klotz “understood in a flash” a parallel principle developed by spiritual master Baal Shem Tov, founder of Judaism’s Hasidic movement. The principle stresses the importance of remaining both firm and supple in one’s spiritual explorations.
“Once I got that in yoga through a bodily experience, I saw insights into that teaching … and vice versa,” says Klotz, a yoga instructor and rabbi trained in the progressive Reconstructionist movement. Over the years, she has created an art form that merges yoga and Judaism into what she calls Torat haGuf, or “Torah of the body.”
The “sense of discovery” that motivates a prayerful or intellectual search for the divine may also be manifested in a person’s physical life, says Klotz, 41, a teacher at the Institute for Jewish Spirituality, based in Northampton, Mass. Torat haGuf is a “different expression” of the same impulse, she says.
Full story.
by Mobius [➚] · Sunday, April 17th, 2005
The fact that this is actually for real makes it ten times funnier. (c/o Shred)
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