New Year’s Resolution/Revolution/Percolation

I’m always in search of a good, just cup of coffee. Here’s a new array of kosher blends from a cooperative of Jewish, Christian and Muslim farmers in Uganda. You can order it online and support good policy and peaceful living.

Jewschool Chanukah Bash

   
The Sieradski siblings, Aliza Hava & Mobius, rock the hizzouse.


Matt Tonti, Yehuda Ledgley and Ellie Brickman get country.


Caress & Sagol 59 rip it up.


I spy with my eye Matthue Roth payes flyin’.


Tuesday’s party at Daila was off the chain. A packed house (with even Jewlicious representin’), a slew of incredible performers, and a genuine holiday spirit made for one of our best parties to date.

Photos c/o Ashraf Abu Moch. If anyone has a pic of Matthue’s actual performance, please send it along.

Jerry Falwell the Maccabee

Well it seems that Christmas has come and gone, and that despite all the fears of a War on Christmas the christ-child’s birthday was celebrated without much state repression of Christian religious freedom. The incredible irony of this supposed War on Christmas has clearly been lost by most of the talking heads working the front-lines of the right-wing assault. One version of their claim is that secular Americans (and their Jewish partners) are imposing on their religious freedom by demanding an absolutely secular public square. As the fundies see it they are a repressed minority whose expression is silenced by demands for inclusivity. “Holiday Sales” rather than “Christmas Sales” are offensive expressions like these are forced upon the Christian public by a cabal of “PC” unbelievers.

The irony is that by styling themselves as defenders of religious freedom while actually hiding a fundamentalist agenda, these right-wing activists are embodying the story of Chanukah (not Christmas) more closely than any American Jews today. The story of Chanukah as fundamentalist civil war has already been linked from Jewschool here, here, and here. Given this irony are the Christian fundamentalists more true to Chanukah than multicultural assimilated Jews?

Perhaps… Though on the other hand I am proud that the rabbis of the Talmud intervened to promote the story of eight days of oil in place of fundamentalist rebellion and that two thousand years of diaspora history have largely upheld that change. These days the Jews most strongly reviving the Chanukah story of fundamentalist theocracy are religious zionists bent on imposing a single (Orthodox) religious observance in Israel. Once again the Christian fundies and the Jewish fundies aims converge. I say that we run speedily away from both of these groups and continue to celebrate the liberal multiculturalism of the “new” Chanukah story, history be damned.

NY Jewish Week Knocks Jewish Hipsterism

Man, don’t even get me started about this article. I am way too close to the story and to even begin talking about it would set so many bridges ablaze it’s not even worth getting into. Let’s also not discuss the author’s Krucoff interview which was conducted from my couch.

This is me exercising restraint.

*** UPDATE ***
Now that I’ve calmed down a bit, here’s the real problem with Gabrielle Birkner’s hipster story:

The philanthropist wears no clothes.

If anyone is responsible for this false impression that projects such as Heeb, JDub, Jewcy or The Jewish Fashion Conspiracy are somehow supposed to be the salvation of American Jewry, it is the major Jewish philanthropies and Federations backing these projects themselves (Jewcy & JewFashCon, of course, the independent exceptions). Which is not to say these projects should not be supported, because they should: They are an expression of positive Jewish culture. Heeb is your satire, JDub your klezmer, Jewcy your Yiddish theatre, and JewFashCon your fashion. These are all important elements of modern Jewish culture and they all have their value and their place. It may look different than it used to look, but that’s only because, in the consumer age, all the world’s culture looks different. You might resent the packaging, but in this day and age, people need to make things slick and give off a seeming air of pretentiousness in order to garner attention and stick out from the crowd. Take, for consideration, Frank Luntz’s “Israel in the Age of Eminem” and “America 2020″, marketing studies which conclude with suggestions for making pro-Israel messages more palatable to MTV-conditioned youth.

The problem isn’t so much the projects, but rather the fact that their grantwriters all have to lie about their intentions in order to get funded. I didn’t understand this so well two years ago when I wrote about my interaction with Josh Neuman at Jewltide. (Since then Josh and I have become friends and I’ve grown in my appreciation for Heeb by leaps and bounds and would like to publicly apologize to both Josh and Roger for my ill-informed and ill-tempered remarks.) Now it’s a clear as day to me.

All of the grant money available to Jewish cultural projects fall under the auspices of Jewish continuity — recently rebranded “renaissance & renewal.” These are merely euphemisms for getting Jews to shtup other Jews. It seems to be the only thing big-wig Jewish philanthropists find themselves concerned with, with the few exceptions of those focused on Jewish education and social action. In this climate, the only way for innovative Jewish projects to get funded is if they present themselves within the context of Jewish continuity. It’s a dirty game, but it’s the reality.

These projects, against their will, are forced to say, “Yes, we can get Jews to hump within the race,” and then are put in the position of keeping up the continuity charade for their funders. The Federation-backed Jewish press then trumpets the philanthropists’ self-congratulatory PR materials and suddenly Heeb is here to rescue Judaism. Thus the impression is created that these projects are intended to serve a purpose that they themselves don’t consider part of their charter. Ms. Birkner now wishes to hold them accountable for their “deal with the devil.” You can say it’s dishonest on their part, but that’s how the funding game is played. Ask yourself, though: Would you rather live in a world with, or without, new Jewish culture? Can you remember the last time people were so eager to identify as Jews? Would you prefer to see Matisyahu on MTV or singing at weddings?

In terms of true renaissance & renewal — the reinvigoration of traditional Jewish culture — that isn’t going to come from within the philanthropies and certainly not from within the halls of institutional Judaism. That’s because the true efforts which are revitalizing Jewish ritual, practice and observance are all organic, autonomous projects.

For the last year, the Jewish press has been churning out stories left-and-right about post-denominationalism and the rise of independent minyanim. Projects like Jewschool are also getting attention because we have become a tour de force without any institutional backing. We have their attention but we don’t have their money.

The reason why the major Jewish organizations won’t fund such projects (Hadar being the current exception) is because they pose a threat to their status quo. The Conference of Presidents want you paying synagogue dues, donating to your local UJC chapter and visiting Israel. They’re not so much interested in you davening in your friend’s apartment and attending Jews in the Woods instead of the JCC. They need you to keep their dinosaurs alive.

I don’t know how many times I need to post Rick Marker’s rather well-informed observations about the rigidity of these institutions and their penchant for driving away the most driven and invigorated members of their communities.

Akiva Gersh has a great quote up on his website:

A rabbi once told a fellow rabbi, “People aren’t coming to synagogue as much these days because they’re just not spiritual!” The other rabbi answered, “You’ve got it all wrong! They’re not coming because they ARE spiritual! They come to synagogue looking for something uplifting and meaningful. When they don’t find it, they don’t come back!”

Imagine what happens to someone who wishes to bring their spirituality into their community only to be stepped on or otherwise left waiting for their shul’s board members to die off.

Thus these entities emerge organically, out of necessity. A lively chevra can’t be instituted from the top-down. They are grassroots movements which can only bubble up from below. Therefore, Jewish organizations can’t install autonomous Jewish communities. However, they can attempt to inspire them and there are experiments in the works, like Kavod House, which aims to be a liberal alternative to Chabad, and Jewgie, my forthcoming social networking project which aims to provide the tools and resources both autonomous and established communities need to better connect and organize their constituents. Jewish organizations can become think-tanks and resource providers which assist independent communities in growth and sustainability.

So, um, Ms. Birkner, don’t blame our friends at Heeb, JDub, Jewcy, The Jewish Fashion Conspiracy, Reboot or Natan for failing to reinvigorate the synagogue. That isn’t their role. Do, however, blame yourself for not taking into account Storahtelling, of which we are all active supporters; nor the independent minyanim we participate in, like Kol Zimrah and Selah; and for ignoring Jewschool, which does consider it it’s charter to actively present this critique and still support independent Jewish culture which struggles enough without such attacks.

And The Simcha Never Stops

Mazal tov u’mazal tov to Jewschool’s Alex Margolin, aka Kalman Rushdie, and his lovely kallah Lisa Gold on the occassion of their wedding, which took place tonight in Shoresh.

Alex was my chevruta last year at Yakar, and his wife Lisa started blogging revamped her blog after their fifth date, during which they attended my presentation on blogging and independent media (WMV).


The utterly beautiful ceremony was presided over by Rabbi David Levin-Kruss (aka the infamous DLK) of the Pardes Institute, and — holy shnikey — what a spread. I haven’t eaten so well in a month.

Man, when British Jews do it, they do it with style.

Jews For Jesus Versus Google

Full text of the complaint is up here.

Among other goodies is this lil’ accusation:

The aforesaid acts of Whistle Blower constitute use in commerce of words, terms, names, symbols and devices, and combinations thereof; false designation of origin; false and misleading descriptions of fact; and false and misleading descriptions of fact that are likely to cause confusion, or to cause mistake, or to deceive as to the affiliation, connection or association of Whistle Blower with Plaintiff…

Hey wait, isn’t that a description of J4J itself?

Also included in the complaint: a lengthy history of blogging; the revelation that J4J puts out over 5 million pamphlets annually; and, most priceless of all, J4J’s 1983 trademark papers — including a Magen David for the “o” in “For.” Clever! But, lest you think they were getting too uppity back in ‘83, the papers signal a note of humility:

No claim is made to the exclusive right to use the star of David, apart from the mark as shown. No claim is made to the exclusive right to use the words “Jews” and “Jesus,” apart from the mark as shown.

Thanks, guys. So how about we keep “Jews,” and you keep “Jesus”?

British Jew Marries Dolphin in Eilat

Ynet reports,

An unusual wedding ceremony was held in the southern resort town of Eilat on Wednesday, as Sharon Tendler, a 41-years-old Jewish millionaire from London married her beloved Cindy, a 35-years-old dolphin, Israel’s leading newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth reported Thursday.

The groom, a resident of the Eilat dolphin reef, met Tendler 15 years ago, when she first visited the resort. The British rock concert producer took a liking to the dolphin and has made a habit of traveling to Eilat two or three times a year and spending time with her underwater sweetheart.

“The peace and tranquility underwater, and his love, would calm me down,” the excited bride said after the wedding.

After a years-long romance, Tendler decided to embark on the highly unusual path of tying the knot with her beloved dolphin. Last week, she approached Cindy’s trainer Maya Zilber with the extraordinary request.

Zilber accepted the challenge and “talked the idea over with the fellow,” who apparently consented.

I can already hear the opponents of gay marriage’s knuckles cracking…

Happy Birthday To Us! Give Us Money!

Today, Thursday, December 29, marks Jewschool’s third anniversary.

It’s been a long, tumultuous road for Jewschool in these last years. We’ve had our high points and our low points. We’ve had our moments of glory and our moments of doubt. It’s been a long, strange trip, as the say.

So I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of our contributors over the years, and all of our readers, for making Jewschool the spectacular entity it is, and to express my gratitude by desperately grovelling for your money.

***

What is Jewschool? What do we do? And why do we matter?

Jewschool provides a public forum, and creates public spaces via real-world events, where young Jews can discuss cultural, religious and political issues in a welcoming, non-coercive environment. Jewschool presently boasts 50,000 readers per month, with over 13,000 return visitors confirmed monthly.

Jewschool, and its attendent projects such as Orthodox Anarchist and the soon-to-come Mazal Tov Cocktail, help disenfranchised Jewish youth connect with their Jewish heritage by exhibiting the spectrum and plurality of Jewish belief and practice. Here are some snippets from e-mails we’ve received:

Forgive me, but I can’t get over your website. It’s amazing! I have no idea who you are, that’s okay with me (haha), I’m just so happy to know you exist. That’s all.
—Sasha, Nevada

I found your blog about a month ago and it’s my favorite thing in the world. Somehow I never stumbled on it until now. It really has changed my relationship with Judaism and wrestling with levels of observance and Jewish politics to know there’s chevra I relate to. Thanks for the two million projects you’re involved with & for everything you do and for writing about it afterwards.
—Amy, Ohio

I’m writing you to thank you for showing that it’s possible to be Jewish and also to be opposed to what’s going on with the occupation. Your writings are so heartfelt and thoughtful. Even when you go on about religion and God (things I cannot relate to) I find your writings personally very moving. One of your recent posts actually made me cry, and was the inspiration for me writing you now. I think what you’re doing is awesome. I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog and following your journeys, physical and spiritual.
—Bill, New York

I’m grateful to you for paving inroads to help further perpetuate the core Jewish ideal of “achdut.” As is echoed in Bereshit (11:11) and elsewhere, the world was diversified into numerous disparate languages/peoples for the purpose of reaching a stronger reunification. You’re doing just that!
—Eli, Wisconsin

Jewschool supports independent Jewish culture, providing promotional services and sponsorship to organizations and publications such as Jewish Funds for Justice, The New York Jewish Music & Heritage Festival, LimmudNY, Heeb, Mimaamakim, BangItOut.com, JDub Records, Zeek, New Voices Magazine, Modular Moods, Jews in the Woods, Kol Zimrah, and Storahtelling.

Matzat, Jewschool’s parent organization, has also assisted with several initiatives to promote Israeli culture including Zion B’Ayin, Metal Israel, Caput58, and Maarav.

Matzat is working to heal the rifts between Israel’s diverse cultural communites by creating engagement opportunities for Israelis and Palestinians to meet and share experiences around their common interests. Our event series Corner Prophets has drawn hundreds of participants over the last year.

Matzat also supports non-profit Jewish organizations and independent Jewish artists, musicians, authors & filmmakers, by providing low-cost and oftentimes free web design and hosting services. In the last year, Matzat has created an array of websites for organizations such as Israel21C (Israelity), Steven I. Weiss (Canonist and CampusJ), The American Zionist Movement (Blogs of Zion), The American Gathering of Jewish Holocaust Survivors & Their Descendants (Together), Kehillat Yakar, ATZUM, and Task Force on Human Trafficking.

Jewschool has also been celebrated in the Jewish press. Its editor, Dan ‘Mobius’ Sieradski has been hailed by The Jewish Standard as a “Jewish Renaissance Man,” was dubbed the “Leader of the New School” in an August 2005 profile in Tikkun magazine, and was recently counted among a group of “fresh-faced iconoclasts…redefining American Judaism” by B’nai Brith Magazine. Jewschool has received mention in The Washington Post, The New York Post, The Jerusalem Post, The Forward, Haaretz, The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles, The Jewish Standard, Kol HaIr, and The JTA. Jewschool has also been deemed one of the most important online Jewish cultural enterprises by Barbara Kirshenblatt-Gimblett and Ari Kelman, both of whom research Jewish identity and affiliation for major Jewish organizations such as the Bronfman Philanthropies and the UJA Federation.

***

All of this has transpired within the last year-and-a-half and without a drop of outside funding. To be quite honest, I have bankrolled all of these efforts out of my own pocket with the pittance I earn from doing freelance web development projects, our advertising sales (which, by the way, are the lowest rates imaginable for a website with our traffic — yay Jewish market!), and our t-shirt sales.

Our server cost alone is $250 month (which is only a fraction of our general technology overhead, let alone my rent & utilities, our post office box, promotional materials, legal fees, etc.) Considering my current income and the flightiness of potential funders (who just don’t seem to get what everyone else does), we’re in serious danger of having to reduce our output in order to stay afloat. So I’m asking for your help. If you support the work we’re doing, please, dig deep and show us your love.

Donate to Matzat today — an organization which is truly, and quite visibly, busting its hump for the Jewish community.

info {at} matzat.org(.)il">

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Goyim Hate Us & Want To Kill Us! Give Us Your Money!

Taking a page from the ADL/Weisenthal playbook, Hillel uses fear of antisemitism to fundraise for the 2006 Winter cycle.

Not too long ago, the president of Iran called the Holocaust a myth and advocated the elimination of the State of Israel. Just the other day, the leader of Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood denied that the Holocaust took place.

The world remains a dangerous place and Jewish students need the tools to fight for their community — for our community. It is more important than ever that we teach young Jews the importance of the State of Israel and enable them to share their commitment with others.

That is one reason why in the next few days Hillel will be sending 400 student activists to Israel to participate in leadership missions, where they will learn how to defend against such lies and advocate effectively for Israel.

And later this winter, Hillel’s Taglit-birthright Israel program will send more than 2,000 students on their first peer trip to Israel to introduce them to their rich heritage. Through these trips, many students have developed a love for Israel and a stronger connection to the Jewish people.

As you consider your year-end gifts, I hope you will think of these recent antagonistic statements made by these public figures — and the important work Hillel is doing to ensure that the next generation has the knowledge and power to combat such hatred.

We hope to be able to impact even more Jewish students in 2006, but need your help to do so. Please consider making a gift now to help Hillel provide more of these programs and to build a stronger Jewish future.

Thank you and best wishes for a Happy Chanukah.

Sincerely,

Avraham Infeld
International President, Hillel: The Foundation for Jewish Campus Life

Chas v’chalilah you should fundraise on the merits of what you do for Jewish students on campus.

Zionazis


Well there’s something you don’t see every day: Israelis dressed as Nazis hanging out on Ben Yehuda Street in Jerusalem. The actors were performing a musical reenactment of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising which was part of a celebration of Jewish resistance to oppression. The event also featured reenactments of scenes from the Roman occupation of Judea, the Spanish expuslion, and all of Israel’s wars.

After exiting the stage, the two men were immediately surrounded by an angry crowd which shouted, “You have real chutzpah wearing that!” and “How could you put that uniform on?!” and “What the hell is the matter with you?!”

Oy. Critics.

Multifaith Mishegaas

Zahav, Techelet v’Argaman

Sunday, January 1
Eighth light of Chanukah
7:30pm

Women’s Cooperative Exhibit
Dina Rayzl Schachter
Nechama Shaina Langer
Nava Levin-Coren

With a special performance by
Aliza Hava

23 Rechov Aryeh Levin
Nachlaot, Jerusalem

26% of proceeds to benefit Yeshivat Simchat Shlomo

Chanukah Around The World



Washington D.C.

California

China

Berlin, Germany

Birobidzhan, JAR

Bi’ilin, Palestine

Lvov Rising

As a proud graduate of the Steiner Internship in Yiddish Studies, I encourage you to apply. It’s an amazing and unique opportunity to learn about Yiddish.

Big up to Robbie and the 2005 Interns.

check it out here.

Hanukah Faith Without the Hanukah Fairytale

Since everybody and their brother is posting on the history of Hanukah this year, I thought I’d link to a post I just wrote on the challenges–and imperatives–of integrating disturbing historical information into one’s mature adult faith. More on the Hasmonean massacres, forced circumcisions, God and Biblical criticism can be found here.

You Just Might Get a Husband…

Are you worthy of frum lovin’ or destined to remain “in the parsha”? Take the Shidduch Score Test and find out.

[My score? Average. My secret? Met him at an Ani Difranco show, happily married since January. So there.]

Source: nerdtests.com

Limmud NY 2006: We got to pray just to make it today

As shamirpower said below, sign up NOW for Limmud NY so that you can get a spot before registration closes!

If you still need another reason to go, check out all the prayer options. Limmud NY is a diverse and pluralistic Jewish community, and the extensive array of services reflects this diversity. This isn’t just Hillel, with three services corresponding to the major denominations. Limmud NY will have 15 different types of services throughout the conference (including 6 each on Friday night and Saturday morning), none of which is named after a denomination.

And here they are! See the schedule for details.

Three times a day from Friday morning to Monday morning:

  • Traditional Egalitarian [Debbie Kaufman, coordinator]
  • Traditional Mechitza [Raffi Cohen, coordinator]

Friday morning:

  • Learners’ Service [Sarah Chandler]

Friday evening:

  • Family Service [Avi Fox-Rosen]
  • Learners’ Service [Abby Sosland]
  • Musical Service [Ben Dreyfus]
  • Neo-Hassidic Jewish Renewal Service [Daniel Siegel]

Saturday morning:

  • Family Service [Sarah Chandler]
  • Four Worlds Service [Mitch Chefitz]
  • Mechitza Service Led by Men and Women [Joe Septimus, coordinator]
  • Musical Service [Debbie Friedman and Danny Maseng]

Saturday afternoon:

  • Afternoon Delight with the Shabbat Queen [Shoshana Jedwab and Jill Hammer]

Saturday evening:

  • Musical Service [Alyssa Frank]

Sunday morning:

  • Contemplative Service [Or Rose]
  • Prayerful Yoga [Adam Berman]

Sunday afternoon:

  • Singing and Meditation Service [Leah Berkowitz]

Sunday evening:

  • Stargazing [Sarah Chandler]

Monday morning:

  • Chanting and Meditative Shacharit [Adam Berman]
  • Martin Luther King Day Freedom Service [Nate Fay]

Filed under Events, LimmudNY

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Jewschool’s Best of 2005

After consulting with our various judges (including Sarah Lefton, Ben Baruch, Ezra HaLevi, and a handful of others) here are Jewschool’s picks for The Best of 2005.

  • Movie: Ushpizin. Runner-up: The Aristocrats.
  • TV Show: The Daily Show. Runner-up: Curb Your Enthusiasm.
  • Book: Schlepping Through the Alps by Sam Apple. Runner-up: Bar Mitzvah Disco by Roger Bennet, Jules Shell & Nick Kroll.
  • Album: Matisyahu Live At Stubbs — Not because it’s his best material to date, but because of the impact he’s made in the last year. Runner-up: Lewis Black Luther Burbank Performing Arts Center Blues — It ain’t music, but damnit it’s entertaining.
  • Magazine: Atlanta Jewish Life — Quite possibly the best Jewish magazine in print. Runner-up: Guilt & Pleasure — A suprisingly good late entry.
  • Website: Nextbook.org — Always provoking, always engaging. Runner-up: 50Shekel.com — A non-stop treasure trove of hillarity.
  • Blog: Jewschool — Who’d have guessed?! Runner-up: Jewlicious — Our more religious, nerdy, ardently Zionistic younger brother.
  • News Story: Surfing Settlers Threaten Suicide by Sea. Runner-up: The AIPAC Spy Scandal.
  • Person: Arik Sharon — For having the balls to disengage. Runner-up: Bonnie Schwartz — A long-time Jewschool reader and the first ever Jewish woman to swim the English Channel, and with a busted rotater cuff at that!

What are your Best of 2005?

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