Jewish Pirate Jokes

It has been pointed out that in two years, Talk Like A Pirate Day will fall on Rosh Hashanah. In the meantime, though we don’t get to blow the shofARRRRRRR or read about HagARRRRRRR today, we can still tell other Jewish pirate jokes on this festive occasion.

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite masechet of Talmud?

Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite biblical prophet?
A: ZechARRRRRiah.

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite Yiddishist socialist organization?
A: The ARRRRbeter Ring.

Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite Republican Jewish senator?
A: ARRRRRRRRlen Specter.

Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite Democratic Jewish senator?
A: BARRRRRbara Boxer.

Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite amora?

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite Israeli newspaper?
A: Yedi’ot. (You probably thought it was Ha’ARRRRRetz, but that’s far too intellectual for the average pirate.)

Add your own!

Filed under Holidays, Humor, Pop Culture

25 Responses to “Jewish Pirate Jokes”

  1. Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite biblical prophet?

    Actually, maybe this should be Jonah, since he has to walk the plank. ARRRR.

    BZ · September 19th, 2007 at 3:15 am
  2. A pirate’s favorite Israeli news obviously comes from AAAARutz Sheva, you scallywag! They even had a pirate ship until the Supreme Court sank it.

    E-bola · September 19th, 2007 at 5:38 am
  3. You kids have FAR too much time on your hands!

    cipher · September 19th, 2007 at 7:10 am
  4. See here for my post on Jewish pirates from last year. My favorite holiday!

    Kol Ra'ash Gadol · September 19th, 2007 at 7:12 am
  5. Oh, yeah, and here’s this year’s no Jewish pirates this year, but there is a tutorial on pirate speak and women pirates.

    Kol Ra'ash Gadol · September 19th, 2007 at 7:16 am
  6. This cracked me up. Thanks.

    Annie · September 19th, 2007 at 8:06 am
  7. YashARRRRRR koach, hazaq u-bARRRRRukh, and gmARRRRRR hatima tova, ye scallywag.

    B.BarNavi · September 19th, 2007 at 8:09 am
  8. What is a pirate’s favorite Israeli newspaper?

    Probably Ma’ARRRRRiv, fella.
    But no pirates=anti-intellectuals prejudice, please!

    ARRRRRRieh Lebowitz · September 19th, 2007 at 8:29 am
  9. And the pirate’s favorite American Jewish paper? The ForwARRRRRRRd.

    Good call, e-bola. Arutz Sheva is in fact pirate radio.

    Siviyo · September 19th, 2007 at 9:48 am
  10. Cuus RRRRRRAbak. proper pirates should speak ARRRRRRabic.

    david · September 19th, 2007 at 10:07 am
  11. Q. What’s a Pirates’s favorite line of tfilah?
    A. Yo-ho-hodu l’shem ki tov, ki laolam chasdo…and a bottle of rum

    adam davis · September 19th, 2007 at 11:21 am
  12. Weak, although I do like the first and last of the comments.

    Bycenator · September 19th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
  13. Sorry, no Jewish content here, but the best pirate jokes ever are McSweeney’s Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates.

    Desh · September 19th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
  14. My contribution

    Larry Lennhoff · September 19th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
  15. This is retARRRRRRRRRded.

    shylock · September 19th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
  16. This is really terrible! What the heck is happening to all of us?!

    Eric · September 19th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
  17. Not sure where I read this, my favourite, Jewish pirate joke:

    Q-What happens to a Jewish pirate boy when he turns 13?
    A-He celebrates becoming a bARRRRRRRR Mitzvah!

    crammed · September 19th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
  18. It was the last joke on the post that really cracked me up. Everything up to that is just buildup, as far as I’m concerned.

    Danya · September 20th, 2007 at 12:47 am
  19. I figured that, since it’s the holiday season, I’d do a pirate’s Jewish holiday quiz (with apologies to Jimmy Buffett):
    1) What’s a pirate’s favorite pre-Yom Kippur ritual?
    – KapAARRRRos.
    2) What’s a pirate’s favorite Pesach ritual?
    – ARRRRba Kosos, of course. (Yo ho ho & a bottle of Manischewitz?)
    3) What’s a pirate’s favorite Succos item?
    – ARRRavos – although he likes all the ARRRba Minim.
    4) What’s a pirate’s favorite fast day?
    – Shiva AssARRRR B’Tammuz. (Maybe Tzom GedARRRRlia?)
    5) Who’s a pirate’s favorite person in the Megillah?
    – ARRRRchashverosh.
    6) Who’s a pirate’s favorite modern-day descendant of Haman?
    – ARRRRRchmedinedjad. (You mean you didn’t know?) (:

    Don’t blame me, me hearties. You started this. Yo ho ho.

    psacman · September 20th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
  20. these jokes are funnier thaN A BUNCH OF JEWISish kids trying to make a bunch of pirate jokes. i swear these jokes are funnier than larry the cable guy,

    slidy bob · March 20th, 2008 at 9:46 am
  21. wow, how can anyone actually like these jokes? they are all the same thing- an AR pun. Here is a good one- What’s a pirate’s wife’s name: Peggy. See that joke is better than all the jokes here and i’m not jewish. If you want to see more funnie Christian themed jokes go to or

    papa nut · March 24th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
  22. Ha ha u should be on comedy central presents

    frank josa · March 24th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
  23. good un

    mary clobber hj · March 24th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
  24. i cant understand. these jokes relly suck

    jack nicholson · October 30th, 2008 at 10:39 am
  25. i agree. let adam sandler tell the jewish jokes

    dirtyharold68 · October 30th, 2008 at 10:41 am

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