“But even the most indestructible race would lose their will to live after 6,000 years of brisket.”
From The Onion:
JERUSALEM—Ending a strict, six-millennia prohibition of the consumption of cloven-hoofed beasts, the World Rabbinical Council announced Tuesday that Jews worldwide may “dig in to the delicious taste of ham.”
Members of the World Rabbinical Council, moments after voting to end 6,000 years of ham prohibition.
“The Jewish people have always had the utmost reverence for the laws of God, as handed down from Abraham to his son Isaac, to his son Jacob. However, from time to time, it is necessary to make slight revisions and modernizations to these laws,” said council president Rabbi Menachem Saperstein, sucking on a hambone, his white beard soaked with succulent ham drippings. “As no less a Talmudic scholar than Moses Maimonides once wrote, ‘Change is the way of the Lord.’”
Added Saperstein, “Mmm… this is some tasty ham.”
According to Rabbi David Feinberg, head of the American Congress of Orthodox Rabbis, the newly approved ham will be incorporated into a number of Jewish customs.
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Are we now permitted to eat cheeseburgers too?
—feygele · October 1st, 2007 at 3:43 am
Feygele:
What you meant to ask, of course, was “I can has cheezburger?”
—Steg (dos iz nit der shteg) · October 1st, 2007 at 8:30 am
[...] The Onion [via Jewschool] Posted by Zvi Filed in [...]
—With The Band - Zvi Band » Blog Archive » “Jewish elders point out precedents such as 1977’s experimental Yom Lobster” · October 1st, 2007 at 8:31 am