This guy has been emailing me and for some reason got on a roll about knitting. I think he was trying to prove how multifaceted he was: “I knit! I know it’s odd, but how many boxing coaches do you know who knit!” WOW! Color me charmed. I mentioned that I crochet, to keep conversation going (why? why?). He sent me this email today:
i was in portsmouth nh for wedding sat
went to AMAZING knitting store
want to get together for a craft circle?
hope all is well
Just had a little JChat with him. I thought it might shed some light on… something. Well, at the very least, all you male JDaters out there (and regular daters for that matter) can learn a little something about how NOT to approach someone.
Him: Hi, Crochet Queen
[Why doesn't he try to find out something else about me instead of just hammering down this dead end path about getting together for a craft circle?]
Me: hey there. thanks for your email. i was just looking at your profile, and i’m actually really looking for someone who shares my political beliefs — i’m pretty left wing
[I just finished a workshop on mutually satisfying relationships at Sukkahfest which helped me to clarify what I'm really looking for in a relationship. He is not it. Oh, also, why on earth am I telling you all this? I have no idea.]
Him: why do you base everything on one line of a ciomputer profile?
Him: i HOPE I am more than that!
[Well, since you've only been writing me two line emails that say nothing except update me on the progress of your knitting hobby, I'm actually not sure there is more than that.]
Mer: i’m absolutely sure you are!
Him: let’s focus on what bring sus togetrher
[I begin to try to formulate the things I am looking for so that he can realize he is none of them. I rewrite a few times.]
Me: yep, hold on
Me: i’m looking for someone with progressive political beliefs, who is a feminist and gets gender theory.
Me: i’m also training to be a rabbi
[I figured this all would end the conversation or reveal that he is in fact amazingly awesome. One or the other.]
Him: it is hard for aman to be a true feminist
Him: anyone who says he is is not
Me: how so
Him: because nobody can uinderstand the women’s view other thana woman
[Hm. It's like he almost has a point. But then I remember that feminism is not the supreme understanding of the position of women but rather the advocation of equality, appreciation of women, support of gender reunderstanding, joining in the struggle for a new paradigm for gender expression, insert better definition here. I wonder for a second if he is launching a sophisticated deconstruction of the advocate vs. minority group relationship, but then decide that he is not.]
Him: emailme when u can
*** [dude]‘s IM window is closed
I’ll get right on that email.