Olam Ha-*ha*?

Hey Schoolers,

My name is Rob Kutner. I’m a writer for “The Daily Show,” as well as the creator of annual NYC Purim spiel “The Shushan Channel,” and the co-writer of a little piece of fun-with-stereotypes you may or may not have seen called “Jewno.”

But most recently, I’ve authored a book entitled APOCALYPSE HOW, a tongue-in-cheek “survival” guide that goes through topical chapters n Food, Clothing, Shelter, Social Life, Dating, Politics, Career, Recreation, and Finance — to show you how the world to come will be much better than the current one.

However, since the book’s publication, I’ve received numerous complaints from Jews (I know, can you believe it???) that the book does not sufficiently address specifically Jewish end-time issues.

So, I want to assure you that the next edition will contain an entire “Olam ha-Bagraphy,” including such critical tachliss as:

-Food — Ten low-fat, delicious, and totally blecch-friendly recipes for Levyatan (ever tried it smoked with a nice shmear?)

-Relocation — Finding a comfortable place to stay in Israel when all the world’s Jews have returned there (Hint: How do you feel about the Negev?)

-Home Makeover — Design advice for Beit HaMikdash 3 (Ex: Who makes the best dolphin skin, and where you can buy it wholesale)

-Personnel — Telling the real Mashiach from impostors (Spoiler alert: It is Schneerson after all – should have donated to the telethon!)

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BUT, I cannot release this updated version until ALL COPIES of the current run are sold out. So it’s up to you guys. Â Go to www.apocalypsehowthebook.com

and buy one now! Hint: Makes a great Bar/Bat Mitzvah gift — and much funnier than a savings bond.

See you all at the Mount!

Rob

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"I may attack a certain point of view which I consider false, but I will never attack a person who preaches it. I have always a high regard for the individual who is honest and moral, even when I am not in agreement with him. Such a relation is in accord with the concept of kavod habriyot, for beloved is man for he is created in the image of God." —Rav Joseph Soloveitchik