The Insider’s Guide to Hanukkah Gift-Giving

Know what women really want this holiday season? Neither does CBS:

The flame-up menorah at the end is a nice touch. But most impressive is how this holiday-time PSA was ever cleared for a general audience. Clearly only Jewish women suffer from cervical cancer.

But wait: apparently Christian women are also in jeopardy:

And lest you think this is some gag, rest assured it is not.  The next step, naturally, is to floor her on her birthday with a root canal and/or a colonoscopy.

Well now you can surprise that favourite female in your life with a deeply [ahem] meaningful gift.

 

You’re welcome.

12 Responses to “The Insider’s Guide to Hanukkah Gift-Giving”

  1. Oh yes, ’cause my husband tots knows more about my health than I do. I’m just a lady, with a simple lady mind. Thanks, honey!

    Here, let me schedule your prostate exam for you. Won’t that just light your menorah?


    Shoshie · December 8th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
  2. I don’t think I’ve ever winced before when contemplating a lit menorah.


    em · December 8th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
  3. “Just a shmear can save her life.” Oh. My. God.


    Chorus of Apes · December 8th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
  4. Raysh, I love you even more for bringing this into my life. Holy. God. Also, that Christmas one actually made me close my eyes in horror.


    Tamar · December 9th, 2009 at 11:32 am
  5. And of course they have different guys doing each PSA.


    nimt · December 10th, 2009 at 2:57 am
  6. Maybe it’s their way of diverting attention from the “I have a little dreidel” problem?


    Jewranimo · December 10th, 2009 at 3:18 am
  7. A few of my gifts in the past haven’t been exactly what my wife wanted. One or two might have even been bad. But at least I can rest easy knowing that I’m a much better gift-shopper than someone who would think “Hey, for Chanukah I’ll get my wife a ‘pap schmear’ appointment! She’ll love it!!!” I wonder how many couch-nights a gift like that warrants? Or does that send the spouse straight to sleeping in the bathtub (with dripping faucet on forehead)? ;-)


    TechyDad · December 10th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
  8. Could somebody explain why people exchange gifts on Chanukah?


    Jonathan1 · December 10th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
  9. Jonathan1, there’s the obvious: the seasonal connection with Christmas. Also, see the final section in this post: jewschool.com/2009/12/09/19298/chappy-chanukah-its-still-my-favorite-holiday/


    David A.M. Wilensky · December 10th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
  10. At the end of the day, we just have to acknowledge that, however it happened, we’ve developed a pretty fun holiday

    At least for me, this rings a lot better/truer than talking about giving presents because the Maccabees won a civil war, and pretending that Christmas has nothing to do with how we celebrate Chanukah.


    Jonathan1 · December 10th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
  11. MORE COLONOSCOPY LINKS PLZ


    EV · December 10th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
  12. Lest anyone think this was some kind of viral humor something or other, I actually saw the commercial during this week’s How I Met Your Mother! Ick ick ick ick ick.


    dlevy · December 13th, 2009 at 6:43 pm

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"I may attack a certain point of view which I consider false, but I will never attack a person who preaches it. I have always a high regard for the individual who is honest and moral, even when I am not in agreement with him. Such a relation is in accord with the concept of kavod habriyot, for beloved is man for he is created in the image of God." —Rav Joseph Soloveitchik