Haiku Glenn Beck!

You may recall last month when professional Fox News shit-shoveller pundit-face douchebag Glenn Beck announced that social justice has no place in religion and that if your church says anything about social justice, you should run for the hills.

Jewish social justice outfit Jewish Funds for Justice decided to fight back by creating a central repository of anti-Beck haikus. And they’re tweeting them at him. It’s all good. Just go to Haiku Glenn Beck or tweet using the #tag #becku.

Some of my faves:

And Jesus said to
All his hungry disciples
“Hands off my fish, chumps”

it used to be just
thirty pieces of silver
but now? sponsor’s gold

Glenn Beck knows that when
Jesus preached social justice
it was sarcasm.

Beckstein reminds me
of the kid in my Jew school
who ate the glue stick

14 Responses to “Haiku Glenn Beck!”

  1. OK, reality check: how many people actually believe that Glenn Beck is against charity?

    >>“last month when professional Fox News shit-shoveller pundit-face douchebag Glenn Beck announced…”

    Your class and subtlety precede you.


    Eric · April 4th, 2010 at 6:27 pm
  2. OK, reality check: it’s impossible to know what he believes. He says so much outrageous shock-value crap. I can’t imagine he actually believes all of it! So the point is not to argue with him about what he believes, but argue with the ideas he’s broadcasting in the hopes that no one accidentally buys his nonsense.


    David A.M. Wilensky · April 4th, 2010 at 6:52 pm
  3. I don’t watch Beck but I think it’s pretty clear that he’s not against charitable giving. He’s aware of the co-option of the term “social justice” as a euphemism for political Leftism. That’s all he was saying: if you hear about a church that talks about “social justice” you can bet on its being a place that endorses a Leftist ideology. He’s against that ideology….but I don’t think one can disagree with his observation about how “social justice” is generally used these days.


    Eric · April 4th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
  4. Eric is right. It’s pretty obvious what Glenn Beck means when he used the term social justice.

    Which begs the question. Does the left simply feign stupidity so their precious punchlines won’t be ruined when mocking beck? (I’m looking at you jon stewart).


    formermuslim · April 4th, 2010 at 8:56 pm
  5. I still think this whole thing is ludicrous. When people say “social justice,” they almost always mean positions or ideologies associated with the left. Glenn Beck, being a rightist, thereby rejects them. (Obligatory personal note to shore up my own credibility: I would consider myself both a leftist and a person who engages in activities that would be called social justice).

    Personally, I think anyone striving for good will and intellectual integrity should boycott ALL these TV political guys. Shrill, self-important idiocy isn’t a characteristic of reasoned discourse, on the right or the left.


    miri · April 4th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
  6. Any group that tries to give things to poor people engages in social justice. Does that mean that any group doing that is leftist? Because is that’s the case, suddenly lots of churches with soup kitchens and the entire Salvation Army just became liberal.


    David A.M. Wilensky · April 4th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
  7. Can the jewschool crew be thoughtful about epithets please? Douchebag, really? Why use a term associated with female sexuality as an insult, except to reinforce sexism?

    I think you can be a little more creative with your anger, the English language is broad.


    Jacob · April 5th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
  8. Douchebag is no more actually associated with female sexuality than asshole is with my rear end or jackass is with beasts of burden.


    David A.M. Wilensky · April 6th, 2010 at 11:23 am
  9. David, I know your heart is in the right (well, “left”) place, but the profanity/name calling really cheapens any point you’re trying to make. While you may be a sophomore (I have no idea), you need not be sophomoric.

    I listen to Glen Beck every a.m. in the car on the way to work for no more than 7 minutes, just to give me an anger boost before dealing with adversaries. My fear, however, is that he’s right. No, not “right” (we know that), but correct?


    Too Old to Jewschool Steve · April 6th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
  10. I’m actually a junior, so we may have to work on a new adjective for that.

    Why fear that this guy is correct. He’s so obviously not. I actually don’t know anyone (and I know plenty of conservatives) who think he’s right. Even right-wingers think he’s a wingnut.


    David A.M. Wilensky · April 6th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
  11. Douchebag is no more actually associated with female sexuality than asshole is with my rear end or jackass is with beasts of burden.

    Even less so, in fact. The term is certainly associated with the female body (and perhaps problematic for that reason alone), but if Jacob makes the leap from there to “sexuality”, that says more about Jacob than about the term and those who use it.


    BZ · April 6th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
  12. This seems like a worthwhile use of time for a non-profit organization.


    Balaam's Donkey · April 7th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
  13. First of all there is a square rectangle issue at work here (a square is also a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square for those of you who missed geometry).

    Social Justice isn’t charity. Social Justice is a process in which people with power utilize that power to engage those with less power to improve (or bring justice) to a crappy (or an unjust) situation. Charity is giving money to a cause. While similar, they are very different.

    Beck is a tool. (Yes that is also a hyper-sexual term, but I trust it will be cool with the feminists in the room.) His show is about shock value and about a different kind of social organization. The thing that is most worrisome is his abject rejection of history and intellectual discourse. If he was to step back and think about his regular conflation of Nazism and Socialism, he might say to himself that it doesn’t make sense. Because it really doesn’t, no matter if you explain it.

    However, he has created this little world where he is right, and his followers believe him because he is “honest” and “speaks from his heart.” This needs to be confronted and in a way the address his lack of intellectual integrity and with a grain of humor. No matter what the blind Beck-ian followers are going to reject any criticisms as socialism (or Nazism). But if we can get them to laugh, then maybe we will get a few on the fence.

    ALL of that said, all this campaign and others like it will do is support his ratings, up his commercial value and ensure his show stays on the air.


    dcc · April 7th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
  14. Eric, how do profess to know what Beck means or thinks if you don’t watch him or listen to him? How do you know what is clear in his thinking? He conflates Nazism and Socialism and Communism so often I don’t know what COULD be clear in his thinking.

    BZ, I’m surprised at you for not correcting formermuslim.


    Ruby K · April 12th, 2010 at 4:57 pm

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"I may attack a certain point of view which I consider false, but I will never attack a person who preaches it. I have always a high regard for the individual who is honest and moral, even when I am not in agreement with him. Such a relation is in accord with the concept of kavod habriyot, for beloved is man for he is created in the image of God." —Rav Joseph Soloveitchik