Life Outside the Bubble
This week’s “Modern Love” essay in the NYT brings out a couple truths that seem self-evident, yet are frequently lost on those living in Jewish bubbles: First, despite the smattering of alterna-veggie-indie minyans, for the majority of American Jews, the tenets of Jewish ritual and theology are almost unapproachably meaningless. Second, historical connection and guilt are insufficient bases for making life choices, not to mention perpetuating Jewish identity.
Enjoy. And expect Letters to the Editor from each of the denominations, and from each of the post-denominations, arguing that the author couldn’t possibly understand the essence of Judaism, etc. etc.
“for the majority of American Jews, the tenets of Jewish ritual and theology are almost unapproachably meaningless.”
Give me a break!! None of my unafilliated Jewish friends have ever…EVER…given shabbat, halacha, kashrut, Jewish prayer/meditation, learning a chance. Not once…ever. Yet they’re all quite vocal about how/why Judaism doesn’t work. They confuse the Hellenistic parts of Jap Judaism vs. the spiritually moving legal/spiritual/meditative parts of traditional Judaism.
“But it’s not easy to fall in love at all. And now that I had, I didn’t want to give it up”
It’s not easy to fall in love? Really? What culture is she living in? The author should educate herself in recent lit (See D. Schnarch, H. Hendrix, etc) from marital therapists about the dangers of “falling in love” and making choices based on the “fall”. Not the best recipe for a long lasting relationship.
Shtreimel,
If you need the address of the NYT Letters Page, lemme know.
ps: Not sure what culture you’re living in, but it indeed isn’t easy to fall in love — outside cultish movements like ohr sameach, aish hatorah, moonies, etc., which themselves prey on people’s need for love. I guess that’s “ironic,” huh?
To say that the author doesn’t understand the essence of Judaism would imply that there’s someone out there who can definitively distill that essence down to a soundbyte, which I’m not sure is possible. Obviously, I speak from a point of privilege, having benefited from (too much?) Jewish education. But each person I’ve met who’s tried to define Judaism for themselves connects differently–for some it’s Shabbat, for others it’s tikkun olam, for still others it’s the Holocaust. Some of those points of connection are certainly more solid than others. But to an extent, the solidity and resonance of a connection point depends on the seeker.
Perhaps the essence of Judaism is questioning, and never feeling like you’ve found THE answer.
the dichotomy posed between “hellenism” and “traditional judaism” has been excoriated as patently false and polemical, ever since the massive amounts of promulgated scholarship treating the influence of the greek world on jewish literature, culture and community. cf hellenism and jewish society, by saul lieberman and imperisalism and jewish civilization by seth schwartz.
also, as a jew who HAS found meaning in the religious aspects of jewish civilization (we’re all kaplanian, aren’t we?) i don’t quite relate to the ms fox’s persepctive of secularity. however, simply because i have found value in that which she does not does not lead me to conclude that ms fox’s is not legitimate. thus, i find the above comments unfairly judgmental.
~invisible
Esther said, “Perhaps the essence of Judaism is questioning, and never feeling like you’ve found THE answer.”
Maybe, Esther, but being Jewish is also about having enough of an ideas about what it isn’t about to say, “I don’t know what it’s all about 100%, but that synagogue/school of thought/holocaust museum is definitely a complete waste of space.
A very interesting read. What I find particularly fascinating is that the author claims to have acutally tried to become actively involved in Jewish life. To an extent I wonder how hard she tried. There are ways to be involved in Jewish life without believing in God. For example, many of the early Zionists were outright hostile to religion.
On a related note check out this article from Haaretz about the increase in American Jewish immigrants to Israel http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/777251.html
And here is a link to a recent study done by the American Jewish Committee on young adults and Jewish identity. http://www.ajc.org/site/apps/nl/content3.asp?c=ijITI2PHKoG&b=846569&ct=3017693
THis has nothing to do with Indie minyans. For the most part those going to the indie minyans are the success stories. The problem is that this poor girl’s parents never gave her a damn thing. She had to find, as an adult, a bunch of letters in a script she could not read that were a last call across the years of people murdered for no reason. BUt that’s not a reason to be Jewis. I thas, in fat, zero relationship to Judaism. It’s about nazis, not about Jews. The Holocaust obsession that we have developed amongst our tribe, here, in Israel, wherever it pops up, is not only not Judaism, it is biting us ,quite sharply, on the A**.
Every person told that the Holocaust has tsomething to do with Judaism is being misled about what Judaism is. It is no moreJudaism than being slaughtered by Turks is awhat it means to be Armenian. It’s just a historical incidient. It’s not even an unprecedented one – in scope only is it staggering, not in intent. Our ancestors already struggled with meaning to come out of senseless slaughter (just take a good look at our canonical writings – say, the Talmud, on the destruction of the Temple), every person who goes around saying that God has something special to answer for can be forgivin only if they themselves were directly affected by the loss, because grief is a great burden, but those of us who were one step removed ought to be reexamining (at most) our traditions, laws and writings for the meaning, which has been struggled with often before.
It makes me sad to see people like this poor girl, who is completely innocent of not what THE meaning of Judaism is, but of any meaning of Judaism. In my opinion, she is quite right to have married her Dubliner – those people who claim that Judaism is racist for not marrying out are correct – when they are talking about those who refuse to marry non-Jews *just because they’re Jewish, but they don’t know anything about Judaism.*
Jewish life has a purpose. Without that purpose then we are not anything more than Italians, or Irish, or people with any other interesting accent -lcking the accent. Bagels and lox is not Judaism. THe holocaust is not Judaism. Israel (the state) is not even Judaism (although it is a necessary part of Judaism, as a place, and as people living in a place, and as our brothers and sisters). I”m not going to spell out what the mission is – that’s not a useful task, becausepart of the mission is to find the mission, but you can’t do that without knowledge. The knowledge doesn’t *have* to be instilled early – many are those who have chosen new souls and joined themselves to our people -in fact, some of them have become the greatest and most holy of our people. But like learning a language, fluency can be dependnt upon an early start – the earlier the better. This poor girl in the article – is a mute, when it comes to Judaism, who can only at best, hear the words echoing from an earlier time, but not seak back. SHe is no longer able to be part of the conversation between her ancestors and God.
Wow. I completely agree with Kol Ra’ash Gadol on this issue. Holocaustism as Judaism is indeed a toxic, xenophobic farce. And you are a non-Zionist to boot! (Well, that’s sort of connected.)
“If you need the address of the NYT Letters Page, lemme know. ”
Hm. I posted a comment on a blog in response to your angry, bitter post. Can you think of a more appropriate place to respond? Your home address perhaps?
“but it indeed isn’t easy to fall in love — outside cultish movements like ohr sameach, aish hatorah, moonies, etc”
You’re rambling doesn’t make any sense. I’m talking romantic love, the author’s talking romantic love, yet you’re off on some tangent about kiruv.
“Wow. I completely agree with Kol Ra’ash Gadol on this issue. Holocaustism as Judaism is indeed a toxic, xenophobic farce. And you are a non-Zionist to boot! (Well, that’s sort of connected.)”
Uh, ‘fraid not. I am a Zionist, in that I firmly believe the state of Israel has the right to exist. Jews have a right to live safely within the land, and terrorism is way beyond the pale under any circumstances.
What I’m not is someone who thinks that that gives Jews the right to mistreat others. Being in the land of Israel is part of our covenant with God, but covenant isn’t open ended, it means we have some obligations, too, among them righteousness through the following of mitzvot.
whatever happened to tact, guys? what you all are saying will not get through, no matter what, if you don’t use tact.
“Jews have a right to live safely within the land, and terrorism is way beyond the pale under any circumstances.”
I don’t remember disputing that. Perhaps you are conflating non-Zionism and anti-Zionism? they are quite different.
Shtreimel,
In my original post, I wrote that we can expect Letters to the Editor claiming that the author doesn’t really understand Judaism. Then you shot back, almost immediately, saying just that! That’s why I joked about the NYT letters page again. But by all means, please comment here. I enjoy your generalizations about “Hellenism” and “Jap Judaism.” It’s highly entertaining.
As for Love, I was replying to your remark that love is easy to find in secular culture. I might have been unclear though b/c I was making two points: 1. Romantic love is indeed difficult to find in secular culture. In fact, it’s easier to find romantic love when you’re both ensconced in cults like ohr sameyach, aish hatorah, moonies, etc. 2. The irony is that cults use loneliness and the need for love (among other things, true) to gather in their “clients.” I should have been more clear.
I think Kol Ra’ash Gadol says it beautifully. My take on this article (let’s see if I can use html in these comments) was also that Jewish guilt over the Holocaust or in general does not create a Jewish identity. And while KRD correctly points out that “many are those who have chosen new souls and joined themselves to our people,” I believe that we as a community still make it far too difficult for Jewish adults to re-engage their Judaism. Almost all our institutions presume a “track” that begins in JCC pre-schools and continues through bar/bat mitzvah, (day school a plus), summer camp, Hillel, birthright israel, and re-joining a synagogue once you have kids. If you fall off or have never been on the track, finding a way in can be extremely intimidating.
What’s worse is that few voices in the community are even looking for those who have fallen off or never been on that track, and we’re not offering compelling enough explanations of why it’s even of value for them to come in (or come back). In that regard I agree with EV’s assessment that for most unengaged Jews, “the tenets of Jewish ritual and theology are almost unapproachably meaningless,” but I’m optimistic that we can become a community that better delivers its message(s) and better welcomes those who would join in our mission(s).
Finally, I’d point out that even though it appears the author of the Times piece had no Jewish upbringing, I’d bet that even if she had, she still would have married her Irish boyfriend. There are hundreds of thousands of Jews who never veer from the “track” yet intermarry anyway, because all of it combined can’t outweigh the alternative of giving up the love of their lives — and perhaps because they too believe that “many are those who have chosen new souls and joined themselves to our people,” i.e., their non-Jewish (not-yet Jewish) spouses. I think a lot more such couples would join us if the organized Jewish community can become more proactive in opening doors and inviting people in.
ah..I am in a real bind.I teach confirmation class at a reform shul and 80% of the kids are from inttermarrieds. I am a strict believer of marrying Jewish. How can you talk about importance of marrying Jewish and NOT diss their parents? Any help appreciated. fyi my reform pals don’t like my Chabad views..( too much) so it is hard to state something so definite.
As Jewish support for Zionist language, tactics, and organizations starts to wane, there is a desperate race to redefine Zionism so as to ‘capture’ the youth.
Oy vey. Zionism is not ‘support for the right of Israel to exist.’ Were that the case, the overwhelming majority of Israeli Arabs would be Zionists – but they ain’t.
Show some respect: Zionism is an ideology, a philosophical viewpiont, a particular form of Jewish nationalism with many streams. Even anti-Zionists sometimes argue for Israel’s right to exist. Specifically, the entire communist world from 1947 onwards, even till today. (Commie = traditional commies, not trots and wackos).
True Zionists should be fighting to distinguish thier heritage from those who ‘merely’ support Israel’s right to exist. Instead, some of them manipulate to redifine the word to suit thier purposes.
Yeah. Don’t talk about marrying Jewish. talk about what it means to be Jewish. I know that you can’t talk halakhah, but of course that’s really what we’re talking about. That being Jewish is a covenant with God that is like a marriage: in a marriage, both partners expect certain things from one another. Some are practical, like division of chores; others are personal like, “I hate the smell of potatoes, so you have to agree never to eat potatoes in the house;” Some are not quite in either category, but are so necessary that the marriage will disintegrate without them, like, “don’t commit adultery.”
But unlike marriage to a human being, God’s marriage to Israel means that we have special obligations to other nations, we ahva special role inthe world: to be a channel for God’s grace and presence into the world. The world’s existence depends upon our doing this ( which can mean lots of different things…). This means things like learning talmud so that we can understand what God wants from us in terms of how employers should treat employees ( Bava Metzia) or how we should treat non-Jews or animals (various places)or learning how we can have a direct connection with God (tefila) and so on. It measn keeping kosher to (take your pick) develop a discipline about one’s habits b. keep oneself pure in what goes into your mouth so as to be pure in what comes out of it, c. learn about kindness to animals, and via this to other human beings (all mentioned by various commentators – and point out of course that none of these has anything to do with trichinosis, which in any case can also be gotten from eating undercooked beef or other kosher animals.
Anyway, the whole point here is nto to mention the parents at all – they have nothing to do with it. The later lesson is a. to do these things, one needs to immerse oneself in a place that supports it and b. to make sure the mission continues one needs people dedicated to this not easy task (after all why do it, if you don’t have to?), and to get that, one needs a Jewish home. But that’s not a religious school lesson, it’s a life lesson.
Kol Ra’ash Gadol — Per your first comment, what about those Jews (myself included) who grew up with it but still find nothing meaningful in the ritual and nothing personally life-defining in the theology? It’s too easy to say the author of the article missed out because she was never given “any meaning of Judaism.” Two hundred years ago, the majority of Jews stepped out of the faith. They grew up with it. They had personal knowledge of it. What are we to make of their decision?
EV..that is also something I need to get..how can I make my secular 10th graders appreciate what I came to find at Chabad, but without being able to down reform Judaism?Maybe you could just keep looking…sometimes being Jewish seems like more of a social “thing” vs a faith thing. I too dated non-jews, but something ( hashem) told me to marry Hebrew. Best decision I ever made. Thank you Koll R Goadol. I ended up finding this article gross…sort of like yea…I was thinking about making a sacrifice, but nah, I rather just flush all that history down the toilet.
I WON’T be buying her book . She is hoping to profit off of her relatives she so claimed to have a connection to. Gag. Better yet lady, donate all the funds to Yom Hashoa chairities.
“Per your first comment, what about those Jews (myself included) who grew up with it but still find nothing meaningful in the ritual and nothing personally life-defining in the theology”
Ev…I’d wage some $$ that in your home:
1) There was doing, but little feeling
2) There was feeling, but little doing (more common in Renewal homes)
3) Or in Adin Steinzalt’s words: “Don’t confuse theological and psychological problems”. In other words, your angst might have more to do with your parent’s marriage, family issues, mental health issues and not with prayer, halacha, etc.
I’ve yet to meet someone who grew up in a religious home (regardless of theology) whereby BOTH parent’s treated religion with awe and respect and didn’t pass that on to their kids. Though I’ve met tons of folks who hate religion because their parent’s were doing it out of guilt…for their kids…their parent’s…all sorts of reasons other than the acknowledgement that life is full of mystery and awe.
Shtreimel,
You’d win some money there. But what if:
A. the ideal is a tiny minority, because it’s nearly impossible nowadays for people to treat the religion — ANY religion — with awe and respect;
B. The religion — ANY religion — is one of the greatest catalysts for the deleterious psychological traits you mention. This is one attribute (of several) that leads us back to (A) above.
EV…I’m a shrink. And one of the best predictors of good mental health is community, humility and belief in some form of Higher Power. I’ll go further and state that the laws of Niddah, seperation of sexes, etc., etc., are without a doubt an incredible asset to helping folks maintain healthy relationships.
I struggle with all of the issues you’ve mentioned…just ask my fiance (a psychiatry resident…and more religious than I). But the struggle is healthy…for ourselves and our community.
Interesting stuff here. I, too, fell for the charms of a tall, cool Irish (-American) lad. After a failed relationship with an Ortho guy who was too Jewish, neurotic, bizarre, etc…, he seemed like the perfect antidote. Besides, he wasn’t into organized religion, so it wasn’t as scary as dating a “real” non-Jew. Still, as we got serious, we had a “holiday” tree and I found myself sneaking off to high holiday services by myself.
The realization was always there, though, that whatever kids we ultimately had, would be Jewish. So when we got married and had those kids, we took a closer and more serious look at things. We ended up, to our surprise, not being the “Death of Judaism”. My husband converted and we live a (very) happily (very) observant life.
I teach 2nd grade Hebrew school and I feel badly for those of my students with two Jewish parents and no Jewish family. Which is worse- to marry a non-Jew or to become one?
I think this is beautifully written…it seems to me that this is early promotion for her novel coming out in February. I also think the piece is really a testament to people’s experiences…people can judge it or they can listen and learn from it, and see how it is people grapple with self-identity and self-awareness all at the same time.
I don’t see it as being outside of any bubble to be honest with you. To me this story reminds me of many stories I hear today, from people who aren’t outside of any bubble. They are living their lives and they are building families in ways that make sense for them, with their tensions and with their promises.
How sad. I’m not buying that she’s made much of any effort to connect to Judaism if the blessing over the candles is “as foreign to [her] as German.” Showing up for the high holidays and expecting some lightning-bolt experience of spiritual connection and fulfillment is unrealistic if you don’t understand what’s going on around you. It’s showing up for the exam without having done the reading.
She took the steps to learn her grandmother’s story- found a university professor to translate and help her. Did she search out a rabbi?
“All the talk of God bothered me.” I know this is horrible, but part of me thinks that there’s some Darwinism at work here. That maybe it’s better that a woman who is bothered by talk of G-d and has put no discernible effort into understanding her religion cut ties and not have a Jewish family rather than raise ignorant little Jewish atheists.
“Oy vey. Zionism is not ’support for the right of Israel to exist.’ Were that the case, the overwhelming majority of Israeli Arabs would be Zionists – but they ain’t… Show some respect: Zionism is an ideology, a philosophical viewpiont, a particular form of Jewish nationalism with many streams.â€
I’m interested in the complexities of ideology as well. But most folks I’ve met use a fairly standard dictionary definition of Zionism similar to this:
“A policy for establishing and developing a national homeland for Jews in Palestine.â€
That’s about it. Most are not aware of the divisions between Labor Zionists and Revisionists or the complexity of Zionist ideology they simply believe Zionism is support for a Jewish homeland located on the piece of property we know today as Israel. In this simplified definition one is either a Zionist, an anti-Zionist or ambivalent. In this schema there are no “pro-Zionists.†If one supports a Jewish homeland then one is a Zionist. I think most people who support Israel—Jewish or not—think along these lines. I think common notions of mainstream feminism—equality between men and women—are similar. There is no such thing as a “pro-feminist.†One either believes in equality between the sexes and is a feminist, one does not believe in equality between the sexes and is not a feminist or one is against equality between men and women and is an anti-feminist.
“Even anti-Zionists sometimes argue for Israel’s right to exist. Specifically, the entire communist world from 1947 onwards, even till today. (Commie = traditional commies, not trots and wackos).â€
Actually, that was the case in 1947 but policy changed after 1967 when Israel defeated Egypt. Then the USSR started producing loads of anti-Israel materials:
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/History/69soviet.html
“This latest development is a continuation of the policies of the Soviet Union and of its consistent identification with Egyptian aggression before the Six-Day War and since, in the following… A vicious anti-Israel propaganda campaign carried out in the Soviet Union in recent months.â€
This is from MyJewishLearning.com
“The Six Day War inspired Jews all over the world, giving them a sense of redemptive pride in what seemed at the time to be a miraculous victory. Soviet Jews, though insulated by the walls of the empire and inundated with anti-Israel propaganda, were not immune.â€
And it wasn’t simply anti-Israel propaganda. Trofim Kichko published Zionism: Enemy of Youth (1972) claiming ‘The killing of the young, not only goyim but also of the Jewish young, is preached in the Torah and was long practiced by the believers of Judaism, forerunners of the Zionists.’†And Kichko’s acidic pen was not only aimed at Zionists but Jews in general. In his Judaism and Zionism he states that Jews have always served the interest of the exploiting classes, “In our times, it’s most reactionary expostulates have been taken up by the Zionists—the Jewish bourgeois nationalists. Judaism and Zionism have become the ideological foundations of the militaristic, semi-theocratic regime in Israel and it’s aggressive actions against the Arab people in the Near East.†In 1973 the communist Daily World derided the Zionists as “agents of US imperialism…bent on preventing Arab peoples from achieving national liberation, and on liquidating the just rights of the Palestinians.â€
This was the official Party line of the USSR at the time. The New Left (aka “trots and wackos”) was even worse.
WEVS, You are wrong. (sorry, it has to be said…)
The Communist world (USSR + Eastern Europe + Communist Parties) was both against Zionism, against Israeli policy, at times even anti-Jewish. But never against the existence of the state of Israel. Never. In fact, if you knew of Israeli communists in the seventies and eighties, they will tell stories of how they were INCLUDED despite the protests of various Middle Eastern groups that were part of the anti-imperialist mvoement of the time. For example, Syrian, Iraqi, Lebanese and other groups would demand that Israeli communists be excluded from various things, and the orders always came back – Israelis are in. Why? Because the hostility to Zionism was a shared cause,
You can find anti-Semitic Communists whose language against Zionists and Jews was atrocious. But those voices, official as they sometimes were, appeared alongside official policy in support of a two state solution with Israel as one of those two states.
I can imagine an Israel that is no longer Zionist. One option, would be a theocratic ultra orthodox state. Another, would be one dominated by a larger power (as was the case in our ancient past.) We might have a ‘state of all it’s citizens’ in which all were treated equally, no matter if they are Jewish or not. We might even have a state that is both Zionist and Pro-Palestinian, where both national impulses are given recognition and legal status. All of these approaches are non or anti-Zionist. And a great many Jews, esp. younger Jews, support one of these approaches. They are not Zionists.
Cole,
I didn’t mean the author was outside the bubble, but that her views and experiences will be considered offensive to those living within the bubble — as many of the comments here attest.
“I can imagine an Israel that is no longer Zionist. One option, would be a theocratic ultra orthodox state. Another, would be one dominated by a larger power (as was the case in our ancient past.) We might have a ’state of all it’s citizens’ in which all were treated equally, no matter if they are Jewish or not. We might even have a state that is both Zionist and Pro-Palestinian, where both national impulses are given recognition and legal status.”
I fail to see how “a theocratic ultra orthodox state” (unless it was actually due to yamei hamashiach) or “a state that is both Zionist and Pro-Palestinian” would fail to be Zionist. I might really dislike the first, and I might the second was a great idea, if feasible, but how does that make either one non- or a- zionistic?
siviyo– or, perhaps, it means the way God was talked about made her uncomfortable.
I know some Jews who are very involved religiously, with unconventional God ideas. would you want them out of the picture?
I pose a question to those against intermarriage. Is it appropriate to only seek out Hebrew love if you have a family history of Tay-Sachs? It seems to me that there is a biological precedence for the mixing of genetic material, and therefore wouldn’t intermarriage be the only way of removing this or other recessive genetic diseases from your bloodline? I’d wager that a child who doesn’t live past 4 doesn’t care much if they can apply halakha to their philosophies. With an estimated one in forty American Jews being carriers for the disease, is it truly that bad of a thing to intermarry if you raise your child to celebrate their heritage and have strong Jewish morals?
Thanks for posting this, EV.
It really does raise interesting questions. I tend to agree with KRG’s point number 8, and streimel’s first two points in no. 21 (not specifically about EV’s home, but more generally). The piece is definitely a microcosm of what’s beeing going on in much of the American Jewish community the last several decades. And (i’m sure someone somewhere will mock me for this) I do think it has something to do with indy-minyans, because it’s another side of the coin.
Focusing on “continuity” or Jewish babies, and the Holocaust, in the mainstream Jewish world is the same problem. The inability of frontline Jewish institutions to educate, inspire, and involve people when they are young will lead to a few people starting indy-minyans, but a lot more people growing up thinking Judaism has nothing more to offer them than Latkes and a vague sense of feeling like a persecuted minority.
But it’s not just on the institutions, it’s also on the parents. I grew up in a temple where mostly, the next youngest guy in the room on saturday mornings was my dad. The kids were sent the message from home that they just needed to go to Sunday school until they were bnai mitzvah, and then they’d only need to go for high holidays.
I wasn’t browbeaten as a kid with “you must marry someone Jewish” My dad felt that way but wasn’t argumentative about it. My mom was cool with whomever. What made me seek out a Jewish partner was having Judaism actually mean something to me. it’s an important enough part of my life that i didn’t see how being with someone who wasn’t Jewish would work in the long term. My parents showed my why and how Judaism was important.
Now, I’ve learned enough to know I don’t know much. I didn’t go to dayschool, or camp, wasn’t involved with Hillel in college. There have been times when I’ve felt behind or like the child who didn’t know how to ask in different settings. But it was feeling like I had a community, that I had a place where I could learn and grow Jewishly. I realize that I did have the language to be a part of it to some extent, and that I knew where to look. So how do we educate people to give them a choice? And why is it taking mainline institutions so long to figure out that if you focus on empowering and creating meaningful Jewish experiences, you won’t need to focus on “continuity” because people will want to carry things forward themselves?!
Ruby K,
Thanks for your comment. I would say that the fact that your parents spent the time to show you why/how Judaism was important makes them a minority, for at least two reasons:
1. I think most people, whatever their religion, do not place Seeking/Meaning at the top of their list of priorities, and those who do often don’t seek Meaning in religion. I am not saying this in a judgmental sense (in fact, I actually think it’s great that so many people seek meaning outside religion today). To use a personal example, I have found much more meaning in film and literature than I ever found in Judaism — and I’m definitely not alone in that regard. (But this is a cue for the trolls to call me an ignoramus, apikoris, specious bastard, etc. Mmm I feed off the hate, gimme gimme!!!)
2. Judaism does not have enough internal strength to compete with the larger culture. I mean, that’s what the statistics tell us, right? People have been drifting away for generations now. But “affiliated” Jews so often blame the drifters, or the way they were brought up, or their lack of exposure to “authentic” or “positive” Jewish experiences (as if “positive” “exposure” itself is enough to make someone into a gung-ho convert), as we see in these comments. What if — radical thought here! — It’s Judaism itslef that’s lacking something really compelling, and it was only in the absence of anti-Semitic restrictions that this relative meaningless was able to come to the fore?
If this is the case, it’s no wonder the community has so much trouble appealing to the “unengaged.” It’s not just the shoddy educational institutions and creepy tribalism manifested by so many of the “engagers,” but the fact that the religion itself does not have enough relevant substance to make it compelling in the open marketplace of ideas. That, too, is evolution.
EV,
Interesting point. Perhaps part of the reason we have so many Holocaust Museums is not just because we are afraid of being persecuted, but we are also afraid of our youth’s choices if they don’t perceive themselves to be part of an ongoing and paramount “historical oppression.”
It’s much easier to defend your exclusivity and endogamy if it is from victimology instead of perhaps, what is really going on — a sense of superiority, and a fear of extinction no matter what the reason.
And for those who think that “evolvement” of Jewish values will help change that, just realize you are rather explicitly conceding through your attempts to alleviate the tension between the dominant culture and our own which one you perceive to be superior.
I think for most Diaspora Jews who aren’t religious in any substantial way, the logical decision is, over time, over the generations, to cease being Jews.
And maybe we need to ask, if we don’t believe in a true choseness of the Jewish people, why is that a bad thing? What is wrong with being a regular member of the human family?
“WEVS, You are wrong. (sorry, it has to be said…)
The Communist world (USSR + Eastern Europe + Communist Parties) was both against Zionism, against Israeli policy, at times even anti-Jewish. But never against the existence of the state of Israel. Never.”
Any evidence to support this claim? From what I’ve read the USSR supported Israel’s “right to exist” from 1947 to 1967 but shifted it’s policy after the 1967 War. I provided a few links to support my
assertion. You provided nothing except your opinion.
Here is more evidence:
THE COLD WAR’S LONGEST COVER-UP: HOW AND WHY THE USSR INSTIGATED THE 1967 WAR
By Isabella Ginor*
MIDDLE EAST REVIEW OF INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS (MERIA) JOURNAL Volume 7, Number 3 (September 2003)
Abstract: The Soviet warning to Egypt about supposed Israeli troop concentrations on the Syrian border in May 1967 has long been considered a blunder that precipitated a war which the USSR neither desired nor expected. New evidence from Soviet and other Warsaw Pact documents, as well as memoirs of contemporary actors, contradicts this accepted theory. The author demonstrates that this warning was deliberate disinformation, part of a plan approved at the highest level of Soviet leadership to elicit Egyptian action that would provoke an Israeli strike. Soviet military intervention against the “aggressor” was intended to follow and was prepared well in advance.
More:
Soviets planned nuclear strike against Israel in the 1960’s
Israel Studies
Volume 11, Number 2, Summer 2006
The Spymaster, the Communist, and Foxbats over Dimona: the USSR’s Motive for Instigating the Six-Day War
Abstract:
The paper will argue that a central motive for the Soviet move was to halt and destroy Israel’s nuclear development before it could attain operational atomic weapons; that this Soviet effort was accelerated by a direct message from Israel that despite its official ambiguity, it was bent on acquiring such weapons; that Soviet nuclear weapons were readied for use against Israel in case it already possessed, and tried to use, any nuclear device; and that the direct Soviet military intervention actually began with overflights of Israel’s main nuclear facility by Soviet aircraft and pilots, in preparation for the planned attack on this target and/or in order to create such concern in Israel that would ensure its launch of a first strike.
The opening of Soviet Archives have unearthed loads of documentation. To be clear, “direct Soviet military intervention…by Soviet aircraft” in Israel does not appear to support your perspective of Soviet policy vis-a-vis Israel. And if the Soviet Union was planning on nuking Israel I doubt their actual policy (as opposed to their propaganda) supported two states living in peace side-by-side.
Again, if you have any evidence to refute this I am very interested. If all you have is a strong opinion I am not convinced. I am not an expert in Middle Eastern history but I am a historian and polemic simply does not do it for me. But if you have evidence from reputable sources I’d like to read it.
“If this is the case, it’s no wonder the community has so much trouble appealing to the “unengaged.†It’s not just the shoddy educational institutions and creepy tribalism manifested by so many of the “engagers,†but the fact that the religion itself does not have enough relevant substance to make it compelling in the open marketplace of ideas. That, too, is evolution.”
That’s certianly a possibility, but not one accounted for by the numbers: the largest growing segment of the community right now are the observant. Moreover, conversion these days is quite healthy. Every rabbi I know does several a year and has to turn people away because of lack of time. Of those whom I have converted over the past few years, I have had the luxury of only working with people who I thoght would be very observant after conversion, because I had so many people who wanted to convert that there was no reason to convert anyone who was lukewarm in any way.
ALthough there’s nothing wrong with being justhuman (and in fact, among those who find no good reason to be Jewish, I think that’s a great option, and one I encourage), the Jewish people have a great and holy mission, and those who cannot live upto it aren’t bad people, merely people who don’t want to take on extra obligations to have a certain kind of relationship with God. THere really IS nothing wrong with that. It is harder to be Jewish. It’s work, and it’s not easy, but for those of us who are ready to make the commitment, whether born Jewish and raised to it, or born something else and drawn to it, it can be – and is- powerful, moving and special. Numbers are not important -it’s all about God.
2. Judaism does not have enough internal strength to compete with the larger culture. I mean, that’s what the statistics tell us, right? People have been drifting away for generations now. But “affiliated†Jews so often blame the drifters, or the way they were brought up, or their lack of exposure to “authentic†or “positive†Jewish experiences (as if “positive†“exposure†itself is enough to make someone into a gung-ho convert), as we see in these comments. What if — radical thought here! — It’s Judaism itslef that’s lacking something really compelling, and it was only in the absence of anti-Semitic restrictions that this relative meaningless was able to come to the fore?
If this is the case, it’s no wonder the community has so much trouble appealing to the “unengaged.†It’s not just the shoddy educational institutions and creepy tribalism manifested by so many of the “engagers,†but the fact that the religion itself does not have enough relevant substance to make it compelling in the open marketplace of ideas. That, too, is evolution.
EV,
YOU IGNORAMUS!!! (j/k) Hmm. On point 1, I don’t think it was just about a sense of meaning, but it was also a sense of history and pride. When I once told a friend that my family was from all over Europe, from Poland, from Russia, from Austria, from France, my dad stopped me and said, “No, we’re Jews. We may have lived in those other places, but they didn’t consider us citizens and we didn’t consider ourselves citizens.” It was a general “this is who you are and what we do” and getting that, whether it was the dirges of our Seder table or the ashkenazi pronounciation during davening, or thinking about Einstein and Sandy Koufax as much as learning about the holidays, what the daily blessings mean and studying the Tanach. We are Jews, and there is something real, and vital in that. A sense of identity that, for me at least, doesn’t boil over into hating of other ethnicities or races, but a strong enough sense of self and pride in that.
As to whether or not Judaism has the strength to compete with larger culture, well, I think it does. I think Judaism is compelling. And it’s hard for me, as an individual, to divorce the stagnace and poor models of mainline institutions from the “Is Judaism compelling” question, because those mainline institutions are the very entry point (and sadly for many, the only viewpoint) from which many conclude, oh well, i’m not into this.
This analogy may not work, but lemme try it on. It would be like being raised by a family that doesn’t like baseball, thinks its a boring game, occasionally will throw on the world series but really doesn’t care. Plus, the world series games are even slower than the regular season, more commercials, pointless analysis, focus shots on the stars that are there… do you think someone in that environs would grow up and be into baseball? I wouldn’t. I mean, I’m sure a small percentage of people would be, but the much larger percentage would not. But what if you grew up hearing about Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Joe Dimaggio and Mickey Mantle from your grandparents, had a ’56 Yankee Stadium foul ball in your house, a dad who played catch with you and parents that took you to regular season ballgames? My guess is you’re more likely to be a baseball fan than the person raised in the former.
There are plenty of compelling things that haven’t caught people’s attention for many reasons. Why don’t people care about where their clothes are made or how their food is grown? Why don’t people do more to cut our oil addiction or the serious climate crisis we’re about to have? That people don’t get involved is not proof of it not being compelling, it’s proof of the information and the experience not getting to the person.
Hey DK,
“And for those who think that “evolvement†of Jewish values will help change that, just realize you are rather explicitly conceding through your attempts to alleviate the tension between the dominant culture and our own which one you perceive to be superior.
I think for most Diaspora Jews who aren’t religious in any substantial way, the logical decision is, over time, over the generations, to cease being Jews.
And maybe we need to ask, if we don’t believe in a true choseness of the Jewish people, why is that a bad thing? What is wrong with being a regular member of the human family? ”
There are some things that I think are better about Jewish culture, sure, although I don’t know how many of them are exclusive. I don’t fully understand what I would be “conceeding.” I’m not interested in Jewish culture and ritual because I think it is superior. I’m interested in Jewish heritage, culture and ritual because it is mine. And I do think there is enough history, art, music, culture to support that even if (gasp!) you’re not religious (that’s a sarcastic gasp, people; i understand that there are people that are interested in their history and culture that aren’t religious, and that’s fine with me), and even to do it without focusing so much on the Holocaust, which I think most people involved in this current discussion is something that happened to us but should not be something that defines us.
I don’t yearn for the day when we’re all just humans. I yearn for the day when we can love and respect our differences. We are unique, and have had unique experiences, and those differences should be celebrated and enjoyed. I’ll trade some potato latkes for some jambalaya.
Ruby K,
Our allegiance and attachments are not the same as majority of Jews, and certainly secular Jews, and the continued rise of intermarriage and assimilation illustrates that incontrovertibly.
Kol Ra’ash Gadol,
While some may celebrate liberal Jewish conversions, these are all too frequently initiated primarily because of the need of the Jewish spouse (and the Jew’s family) for a Jewish partner.
But while the formerly gentile spouse may overtly embrace a Jewish faith, the children are even more inclined to embrace both their Jewish parent’s covert preference for a more universalist attitude as superior to a particularistic vision. The long-term Jewish sustainment of such a union over subsequent generations are even more dubious than those of a secular, both partners Jewish union. With or without a holiday bush.
Ruby K,
I don’t have the time to do your reply justice now, but here’s a few quickies for the purpose of, well, baiting you:
1. Your family was right. Baseball is, by any objective measure, boring. 😉
2. I want to hear what steroids in baseball does to your analogy. What are steroids in Judaism? How can we get rid of them? Or is it the steroids that will rescue the religion and culture?
3. How would you feel if a bunch of Hank Aaron worshippers (for instance) felt dismally awful that the rest of the world wasn’t totally wrapped up in RBIs and ERAs? That’s how I feel about the “engagement” crowd.
And for many people, your analogy is perfect: Baseball, like Judaism, might be a source of a certain amount of interest and even meaning. But for most, it’s not something to build one’s life around.
“While some may celebrate liberal Jewish conversions, these are all too frequently initiated primarily because of the need of the Jewish spouse (and the Jew’s family) for a Jewish partner.
But while the formerly gentile spouse may overtly embrace a Jewish faith, the children are even more inclined to embrace both their Jewish parent’s covert preference for a more universalist attitude as superior to a particularistic vision. The long-term Jewish sustainment of such a union over subsequent generations are even more dubious than those of a secular, both partners Jewish union. With or without a holiday bush. ”
I actually think that that’s less and less the case. WHy? Because no one need really convert anymore if they don’t want to. There’s not really any pressure -especially in Recon and Reform communities- for non-Jewish spice to convert, and so those who do, do so because they care. In my experience (granted not all that long at this point) many of the convered spice are actually the ones who bring yahadut to their families, while the born Jewish spouse is resistant. And I have to say, that while I have done a few conversions of partners who wanted to convert before marriage, none of them were converting under pressure of the spouse or their families ( by whom they were adored, as is) and their enthusiasm for yahadut was extraordinary. Of course, I have had the luxury, as I said, of turnng away those who didn’t meet that standard. I suppose not every rabbi does.
EV,
1) Won’t even dignify this with a response
2) Maybe the steroids is about what chemicals we pump into kosher meat and still call kosher? Not sure where it fits.
3) I can understand how you feel about that, although I feel it is this kind of example where the baseball analogy doesn’t work
Nor do I think it works in your final point. Obviously, I take Judaism more seriously than baseball (and I take my baseball pretty seriously). And I do think its something people can build their life around. But who would want to build their life around what the mainstream institutions are putting out there now?
“but the fact that the religion itself does not have enough relevant substance to make it compelling in the open marketplace of ideas. That, too, is evolution.”
Utter nonsense. Most of us (jews…non-jews) want to spend the majority of our time seeking pleasure with little consequences. And that’s why dieting, exercising, traffic congestion, pollution, etc., etc., is and will continue to be a problem for the majority of people. 98% of my clients that I’ve seen in psychotherapy are struggling with wanting to reduce their symptoms (insomnia, depression, anxiety, etc) yet not wanting to change their lifestyle.
It’s not that religion isn’t compelling…it’s that it frowns on things like internet porn, watching sports all day and excessive lifestyles. And we don’t like being lectured to. As Robert Bly has said, we’re morphing into a very scary Peter Pan’ish culture. In the end, it might be religion that saves us from ourselves.
Shtreimel said,
“It [religion] frowns on things like internet porn, watching sports all day and excessive lifestyles.”
Why so limited? Your good friends at your summer home Aish HaTorah bravely covertly stand up to all sorts of other excesses, like the radical idea that the world isn’t literally less than 6,000 years old, or that fallacy that Metziza B’ peh (sucking bloody baby penis) isn’t healthy for the baby, and they Aish takes on technology too, and remind us that it is a Tower of Bavel.
Shtreimel,
With all due respect to the sanctity of the psychotherapy profession, I’m not sure I trust your authority. In an earlier comment, you said “I’ll go further and state that the laws of Niddah, seperation of sexes, etc., etc., are without a doubt an incredible asset to helping folks maintain healthy relationships.”
Really, Shtreimel? “Without a doubt”? These laws are universally beneficial, regardless of gender and culture?
Is that something they’re teaching at Canadian medical schools these days, or is it possible, just possible, that this is a conclusion you developed as a “master of return,” then transposed to your psychotherapy beliefs/perceptions/attitudes?
As far as evolution goes, you didn’t dispute the quote. You even agreed that we’re “morphing.” That is evolution. Judaism cannot compete with secular culture because it lacks sufficient internal vitality to make people want to live it. I’m not saying this is positive or negative. It’s just a description of what has been taking place for centuries now.
Ruby K,
Why is it the job of the “mainstream institutions” to “put it out there”? Judaism does not lack for public awareness. We’re not living in a totalitarian state. People are free to learn about the religion if they choose. It’s up to the individual to find meaning.
Anyway, I was hoping you’d run with the steroids metaphor. In my view, Steroids = ersatz “edgy,” “we’re really cool, trust us, we snort coke ‘n shit” hipster bullshit Judaism, considered the panacea that will Save the Jews — at least in the minds of socially, culturally and demographically clueless Jewish communal professionals. That’s the steroids. Everybody’s taking ’em.
Ev….
“With all due respect to the sanctity of the psychotherapy profession, I’m not sure I trust your authority”
It’s a blog EV not a discourse on Kohut’s understanding of bipolar illness. Besides, the field of psychotherapy has many different ideas of what promotes mental health and wellbeing.
“Really, Shtreimel? “Without a doubtâ€? These laws are universally beneficial, regardless of gender and culture?”
For the vast majority of people…YES. And especially for my secular male friends, who after only a couple of years of marriage, were hittin’ the porn as if they’ve never seen any.
“Is that something they’re teaching at Canadian medical schools these days, or is it possible, just possible, that this is a conclusion you developed as a “master of return,†then transposed to your psychotherapy beliefs/perceptions/attitudes?”
a) M’lady’s the dr, not I
b) My beliefs have been formed from what I’ve learned and witnessed as a therapist. Not so different from a Buddhist oriented therapist who believes that we all…WE ALL…could benefit from Mindfulness Meditation. Or an analytic therapist believes that dreams are the key to our struggles.
“Judaism cannot compete with secular culture because it lacks sufficient internal vitality to make people want to live it. ”
If this is a competition, Judaism will lose. Secular culture offers way too many instant highs, catering to our pleasure seeking appetites. At first glance, orgasms with strangers are more intense and fun that slogging it out in a committed relationship. Skiing on Saturday is more fun that meditating/praying in shul. Or in the words of Perry Farrell: “Just because the Backstreet Boys sell a gazillion records doesn’t make it good music”.
The average American Jew who reject Judaism based on their experiences in mainstream Jewish institutions is like a diner who declares after a couple of meals at the Olive Garden that they don’t see what’s so special about Italian cuisine. Its not exactly an informed decision.
Which leads me to ask what exactly the point EV is trying to make by taking a swipe at the indie-minyan crowd. Is it to remind us that no matter how well our home-made Mario Batali inspired recipe of Judaism works for small groups, that the majority of American Jews are still going to Olive Garden shuls and the quality of the cooking there is what really matters?
That’s an interesting discussion to have. However, what EV appears to be saying in this latest comment is that the fact that the prevelance of mediocre Jewish content is no more problematic than mediocre Italian cooking. After all, nobody is forcing most American Jews to go to Temple Beth Pareve any more than they are forcing tourists to go to the Olive Garden in Times Square.
This strikes me as missing the point. For those of us who find Judaism meaningful – especially for those of us who grew up mainstream institutions and later were able to experience more authentic forms of Judaism – it matters whether or not Judaism survives and thrives. More importantly, it matters that when Jews exercise their freedom to embrace or disgard their Judaism, they get to do so from a place of knowledge and self-understanding rather than confusion and alienation.
I just saw this post. I am glad that someone in the J-blog community wrote about the piece, which made me very sad. I am fortunate that I simply like traditions. Part of learning how to daven is knowing that the prayers themselves cannot make you feel anything, especially if you do not understand Hebrew. You must bring to the fixed words of the prayer your own feelings and problems and desire to understand.
But another reason I was sad is that I was happy to say on DB that our Yamim Noraim chazan could not be equalled. I thought that if you were there, and were not uplifted by the beautiful davening, that you had to be spiritually deaf. The person in the article was perfectly well-meaning, but would not have gotten it at all, again from lack of Hebrew knowledge.
I appreciate the comment about the Olive Garden. It will be passed on to my husband 🙂