I am all for the use of Jews and Jewish holidays for humorous promotional purposes. This year I attempted this with my Rosh haShanah greeting.
Sometimes I even think it’s cool when Judaism, or a particular Jew, is used for commercial purposes - as Matisyahu is in the Kenneth Cole commercial.
In both of these cases Judaism is used as a way of communicating something important - like taking life and art seriously or the ability to laugh at ourselves once in a while.
I like Rush. I respect the fact that they’ve consistently made some really good music for many years. But I think VH1’s Rush special billed as “Rush haShanah” was completely off the mark.
If I made the Rosh - Rush pun in a shiur (class) I was giving I would be accused of not only having gone to the Rabbinical School of Incredibly Bad Puns for my Smicha (Rabbinic Degree) but of having flunked out.
There’s NOTHING clever about a pun that uses two words that sound alike but have nothing to do with each other. Example of a good pun: When you dream in colour, it’s a pigment of your imagination. Pigment which sounds like figment is clever because it relates to the subject of the statement. Rush has nothing whatsoever to do with the hebrew word Rosh (meaning head).
Was there some point to this that I’m oblivious to? Some redeeming factor? If I suggested that 7-11 should have a Slurpy sale called “Slush haShanah” - would anyone actually think it was a good marketing idea? Apparently Rolling Stone Magazine whose article referred to this as an “awesomely clever pun” would. This mischaracterization was no doubt what caused Mr. Mike Fink to comment (on the afore-linked article) that “rock and roll is not the only way the Jew destroyed Western civilization”. (No, Mr. Fink, it is NOT the only way - but it IS the most fun way don’t you fink?)
I know what you’re thinking right now. You are thinking two things. 1. “Dude, you ARE missing the point - the special aired ON Rosh haShanah; the date is the connection that makes the pun work.” and 2. “Lighten up - it was just a silly marketing ploy. It’s not like a case of wife or death (an expression sometimes used to punnily define a shotgun wedding).”
OK, you’re right, I’m taking a deep breath, smiling and relaxing and assuming the “final nun” position from Aleph-Bet Yoga. I suppose it could be cool to have a Ween show on Halloween called “Hallowed Ween” or a special performance on Broadway called “Rent on Lent” but neither of those Holidays claim to be the day when the entire world; Jews Christians, Muslims, non-believers and even Zoroastrians are all standing in Judgement before The Creator - something which I suspect may not have come across to viewers of the VH1 special…
So listen Mr./Mrs. VH1 marketing person whoever you might be; Zeit mir moichel (please forgive me) but let’s leave Rosh HaShanah puns to us Rabbis shall we? Your idea lacked geometry as it was pointless. You missed the true meaning of Rosh HaShana; it was just too pasteurized. You know what? I think you should consider switching careers and maybe writing a gossip column for a newspaper - a job more befitting someone with your great sense of rumor.
I grew up loving the Beatles like crazy. Before I knew there were other stations besides the Oldies station, it was all sixties Beatles, all the time. There was a time - as a young yeshiva kid constantly searching for places where my alterna-ethic could meet my religious lifestyle - when I would have been thrilled to hear that a Beatle was finally going to play a show in Israel – as Paul McCartney is this very evening.
No longer, though. Now, as both an anti-Zionist Jew and a huge music nerd, I’m really disappointed that someone whose band was so publicly – purportedly, at least – political, and progressively so, at that, is finally about to become the first Beatle to play a show in Israel. Because despite McCartney’s assertions that he is just going to see “what’s what” and that he is “quite apolitical,” the fact remains that playing a show in Israel when a public and widely-supported academic/cultural boycott is in place by groups like PACBI, is by all means a political statement.
I’m currently on tour with my own quite-political band, and, while I know that sometimes a show is a show and a club is a club, often times being a performer, your choices carry an exceptional public weight, and choosing to play a particular venue in a particular place – or choosing not to - can mean the world.
Here’s a perspective that’s a bit more disturbed by McCartney’s decision. I know I certainly am.
An image was forwarded to me in an email, asking for help with its translation. It’s apparently the tattoo of Danielle Lloyd. What’s that? You don’t know who she is either? I googled her and, once past the girl-in-panties-and-bra pictures, I went to wikipedia, where I learned that she was 2006’s Miss Great Britain (but lost her title for posing nude in Playboy), and has made a celebrity/tabloid career for herself ever since. Ok, so nothing there caught my attention; this post won’t be about her.
Instead, it’ll be about the stupidity of her tattoo. (And it’s not about the stupidity of tattoos in general, since I’m actually a fan of well done, well placed, well thought out ink.) But come on! This is foolish:
For reasons unknown, Danielle got the tattoo in Hebrew. Or so thetabloidsclaim. It’s actually English written with Hebrew letters; took me a second to clue into that as I read the phrase, and couldn’t decipher it. Then something clicked and I had the a-ha moment: it says “only God can judge me, only God can judge me.” But here’s the amusing part: she didn’t use any consistency in her transliteration. In the first occurrence, “can” is spelled ?? while the second time it is spelled ??. And she knew to use a mark to change the ? from a “g” to a “j” but used the wrong notation - and failed to use any for the second “j” sound at the end of “judge.”
So, kiddies, let uncle feygele teach you a lesson: if you’re going to get inked, please research it well. Don’t take your cues from Posh Spice. And, for cryin’ out loud, if you’re using a language you’re not familiar with, get it checked. Twice.
The press release further informs us that the guest list includes real estate big wigs such as Donald Trump, Jared Kushner, Joe Monahan, Giuseppe Cipriani, Andre Balazs, and Amy Sacco. Just one big, cozy family.
Sure, we disagreed about a number of things. You liked to tote guns around and champion the 2nd amendment. You opposed Affirmative Action and became a Republican later in life. You campaigned for George W. Bush, George Bush Sr., and Reagen. You boycotted Ice-T.
But at one point in your life, you supported the Civil Rights movement and became inextricably linked as an icon of Jewish Biblical history. For many of us, before our political awakening, we knew you as the man who carried the tablets down from the mountain. Or, a different subset of us knew you as the man who fell to his knees and cried out, “You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!”
So God bless, Charlton Heston. May you be remembered for good (at least on TNT’s annual pre-Passover Ten Commandments screening).
Michael Steinhardt didn’t do it. Lynn Shusterman didn’t do it. Edgar Bronfman didn’t do it. Your Hillel director would have shit his pants. And let’s not talk about what your synagogue’s board would have thought about the idea.
The idea? Tossing your money - hundreds of thousands of dollars of it - at a group of twenty-somethings with no strings attached.
The prerequisites to receive this generosity? Live in a house, with other young Jews. Open your doors to the community. And call your home by the name of Morris “Moishe” Squire, the wealthy Jew from Santa Barbara who began bankrolling these houses two years ago for the purpose of invigorating young Jewish communities.
OK, this isn’t news. Not even close, being that Seinfeld is over and done and gone. And I have to admit: I’ve never watched an entire episode of Seinfeld.
Now, what kind of admission is that for someone writing for a hip cutting edge crew like this one (not that I ever claimed to be hip, mind you)? But why not? You may ask: why didn’t you ever watch Seinfeld. Well, I suppose there are all kinds of reasons, but here’s a couple: I’ve never aspired to live in New York City. Yes, yes, I know, please don’t gasp so loudly, it knocks over the plant stand.
How could a Jew not want to live in New York? Heck, how could anyone not want to live in New York? I know that lots of cool stuff happens there, and I’m sorry to miss it, yes. And it’s not that I don’t like NYC: I’m happy to visit from time to time, buy a few sefarim, visit friends, get some good kosher food (although I’m just as happy to get my kosher on in LA or Jslm, if that’s an option, in fact, preferred, really), see a show, but I do like you New York, really.
But Seinfeld, I just never really thought that it was all that. Maybe it’s just me, alone. But I recently was zooming around looking at things and found this on, of all places, a sociology blog (see, I told you I wasn’t hip), Danny Hoch talking about why he turned down a bit part of Seinfeld, and a little of the show as it actually happened.
so… reason number two: I just always felt that Seinfeld was somehow …off. It seems to me that there’s a large helping in Seinfeld of using humor not, as it ought to be, making fun of oneself, to mock power, and to make people’s vision clearer about how the world really is, as opposed to how it believes it is, but more of a knowing wink wink, we’re superior kind of feeling. And I don’t love racism in my humor. Sarah Silverman, when she makes her jokes, gives a very different ta’am there: when she makes you laugh, (if you can laugh, or maybe gasp) you can’t laugh without squirming, because inherent in her joke is that she’s mocking the person who laughs, because they’re laughing, but Seinfeld…it’s not there. Jewish jokes, IMO aren’t funny when they’re racist, and they aren’t funny when they’re misogynist, and it’s time certain folks stopped getting a free pass on “humor” because it was said with a New Yawk accent - to the best that I can tell, that’s exactly what New York isn’t about, so cut it out.
And just in case, I have to complete the admission: I don’t like Woody Allen either. He’s creepy, and he’s married to his daughter. nyah.
Babe Ruth was a quintessential American. Somewhat larger than life, the Babe represented the kind of freedom that drives those who believe in despotic regimes mad. During World War II, when Japanese soldiers charged American troops, they would sometimes scream, “To hell with Babe Ruth.” Not “to hell with FDR” or “to hell with Douglas MacArthur,” but “to hell with Babe Ruth.”
And now he needs our help.
OK, OK, so why write about that on Jewschool?
Because we owe him one.
Dr. Rafael Medoff wrote in the Jewish Ledger a few weeks ago that during the last week of December 1942 Babe Ruth helped to keep public attention focused on Hitler’s atrocities. Although the U.S. and Britain had finally publicly acknowledged and condemned the mass murder of Jews by Nazi Germany, there was no talk of any steps being taken to rescue the Jews and the issue was fading from the public eye.
So, Babe Ruth and other prominent Americans of German descent, stepped up to the plate and signed the “Christmas Declaration by men and women of German ancestry†which appeared as a full-page ad in the New York Times and nine other major daily newspapers.
It read in part:
“[W]e Americans of German descent raise our voices in denunciation of the Hitler policy of cold-blooded extermination of the Jews of Europe and against the barbarities committed by the Nazis against all other innocent peoples under their sway. These horrors … are, in particular, a challenge to those who, like ourselves are descendants of the Germany that once stood in the foremost ranks of civilization.â€
The ad went on to “utterly repudiate every thought and deed of Hitler and his Nazis,†and urged the people of Germany “to overthrow a regime which is in in the infamy of German history.â€
Dr. Medoff’s article drew the attention of the Babe’s granddaughter, Linda Ruth Tosetti, who wrote a comment on the article expressing delight in reading about how her grandfather took a public stand against Hitler. She also asked for help in getting Babe’s number retired from all of baseball by signing the petition that can be found here.
So sign the petition folks - it’s the least we can do!
This is one part amusing, two parts horrific. The first thing we learn in this trailer for You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is that Adam Sandler has gotten buff and doesn’t do an Israeli accent very well. That doesn’t stop him from playing Zohan, a Mossad agent who fakes his own death so that he can move to New York City and become a hairdresser. Until his past catches up with him… Sort of like Shampoo, www.youtube.com/watch?v=zymoFHGYBnQ&feature=related
“>Exodus and Munich rolled into one.
If the trailer is anything to go by, the film half mocks, half affirms American stereotypes of and fetishes for Israeli soldiers. Still, you know you’ll see it when it hits the theatres in June.
This week, the lay leadership (and most of the professional leadership) of the Union for Reform Judaism converged on San Diego, CA for the 69th (heh heh) Biennial. Basically, this is the big conference where Reform leaders educate themselves and each other, meet to talk about pressing issues, conduct the business of the Reform movement, and launch new products and initiatives.
Some Biennial news bites:
• Delegates (or, rather, anyone who managed to be at this morning’s Shabbat services) got to take home their own copy of the new siddur, Mishkan T’filah, which is now — after quite a few delays — officially out and available for temples or individuals to purchase. Fully discussing the new siddur would take a separate post, but I think it’s fair to say that most people here are pretty excited about it.
• Michael J. Fox received the Eisendrath Bearer of Light award for his activist work. People seemed to be inspired by his speech. I rode in an elevator with him when he was leaving his hotel to go to the award reception thing. He is, indeed, short.
• URJ Press and the Women of Reform Judaism (the movement’s sisterhood wing) released a new women’s Torah commentary. It is a hefty book and is the product of some serious scholarship. I don’t know who’s going to use it (and for what), but the buzz is that it’s a good thing.
Of course, one of the big highlights was the traditional Shabbat morning sermon from Rabbi Eric Yoffie, president of the URJ. In these sermons, Yoffie basically picks some big issues that the Union should be focusing on, and then unveils initiatives and programs that the Union is embarking on in order to address them. You can read the whole sermon (which took him an hour to deliver) here, but here are the big points, with some commentary:
To promote his new album Sandwiches & Cats, Michael Showalter is doing a pseudo tour of various blogs like ours, and we’re fortunate enough to have him pop by here. (he also popped by Stereogum where he dropped this aaaaamazing video of revealing his hidden musical joys - Dave Matthews need hide no more.) Enjoy. - biz
My name is Michael Showalter. I am a comedian. I did a TV show on MTV in the mid-90’s called The State and then a movie called Wet Hot American Summer and then another movie called The Baxter and then another TV show called Stella. That’s my resume. I have a record coming out today called “Sandwiches & Cats.” It’s on the label JDub Records.
Alot of people ask me why I decided to a comedy record and I tell them it’s because I thought it was about time that a Jewish person made a comedy record. I mean, to my knowledge I’m the first Jewish comedian. And I’m definitely the first one to make a comedy record. Mostly, Jewish people are known for being professional football players and country music stars but not comedians. I mean I guess there’s a few Jewish comedians: Jerry Seinfeld, Woody Allen, Adam Sandler, Gilda Radner, Henny Youngman, Shecky Green, Lenny Bruce, Billy Crystal, Larry David, Andy Samberg, virtually all of the Borsht Belt comedians, most of the Vaudeville comedians, Judy Gold, Mort Sahl, Rita Rudner, Jerry Lewis, Jon Stewart, Sarah Silverman, Richard Lewis, Mel Brooks, Albert Brooks, Rodney Dangerfield, Al Franken, Jeff Garlin, David Brenner, Lewis Black, Sandra Bernhard, Milton Berle, Jack Benny, Dave Attel, David Cross, Robert Klein, Marc Maron, Jackie Mason, Paul Reiser, Don Rickles, Alan King, Ben Stiller, and Roseanne Barr.
Other than that list of small fries, I can’t really think of any. Hopefully, my comedy record “Sandwiches & Cats” can put Jewish people back on the map in the world of comedy. We should be known as more than just professional football players and country music stars. Someone needs to do it and I’m up to the task.
For a minute there I thought the world had come to an end.
According to The Forward, on Rosh haShanah at The North Eastern Jewish Centre, an Orthodox synagogue in Australia, the largely conservative, middle-class congregants were “forced to face a Jewish choirmaster named Bram Presser”, who just happens to be the lead singer of Australian punk band Yidcore!
Nothing wrong with that - but I was having a hard time imagining an Orthodox synagogue here in New York ever appointing someone like Joey Ramone as choirmaster.
Not that there wouldn’t be an Orthodox synagogue open-minded enough to do so, I’m sure there’d be many - just I’d find it hard to believe that Joey Ramone would show up in time for services that routinely start as early as 6:30AM - at least in my neighborhood! What kind of a punkster could Bram Presser be with that kind of early morning schedule!?
So I googled North Eastern Jewish Centre and then I understood. At North Eastern Jewish Centre Shacharit during Festivals begins at 9:15AM!
Not bad Bram, and I’m sure you did a bang-up job, but you and I both know that even at 9:15AM Joey would’ve overslept.
———
[Note to God: In deference to the 10 days of Teshuva I have made no mention whatsoever of the fact that North Eastern Jewish Centre is Chabad in this post; no judgments or innuendos, not even an oblique reference to 'zman krias shma' - I hope that counts for something!]
OK, I grant you, this isn’t exactly my usual territory, but I just had to share with you all. Salon contributor Jonah Keri writes about the 18 best Jewish ballplayers of all time. I’m not sure whether that’s exactly a special honor (I mean, how many are there total? He had to count people who didn’t even count themselves as Jewish, like Rod Carew) but in these last lingering days of summer, as I notice all the pools closing for the last time tomorrow, I am feeling the call of my old baseball summers, when I would listen to the Orioles on the radio, which is, IMO, the best way to follow a baseball game, if you’re not actually playing, yourself.
The best thing, of course, is to haul out to a field with a mitt and scare people into dropping their bats while the ball shaves their chest hair (if they’re guys).
14) Kevin Youkilis
In Michael Lewis’ bestseller “Moneyball,” Billy Beane famously referred to Youkilis as “the Greek God of Walks.” Not quite. The Red Sox first baseman has parlayed a great batting eye into a key role on baseball’s best team. But he’s actually Jewish, not Greek. He’s also the inspiration for the funniest Internet clip ever about Jews in baseball. “Where’s Mel Gibson now?! Where’s Mel Gibson now?! He’s in rehab, and Youkilis is at first base!”
So the Sci Fi channel has this reality show called Who Wants to Be a Superhero?
Thousands of hopefuls begin with an original idea for a superhero, a self-made costume and their best superhero mojo. From those thousands, [Marvel comics creator] Stan Lee chooses 11 lucky finalists, who move together into a secret lair. There they begin their transformations — and their competition for the opportunity to become real-life superheroes.
The winner of the competition walks away with their character immortalized in a new comic book created by Stan Lee himself.
And this season, the show, which premieres on July 26th, features a Jewish superhero named MISTER MITZVAH!
It was fun and amazing, met all these really swell people, Y-Love and I had a competition to see who can get the most speaking engagements in the most cities (www.matthue.com, folks…), i had a chance to sneak into the Sheraton breakfast (doood, like 140 flavors of cheese. and they were all cholov yisroel. i swear, if I had to go back to Hebrew School and write my “Why I Love Israel” essays again, they would all run along the lines of “Israel is a very special place with lots of kosher food that makes grown men look like they are about to bust out a baby.”) and got to see my friend and role model SARAH LEFTON RIGHT BEFORE SHE GOT FRICKING ENGAGED!!!!!
That’s right: Sarah and Bill are going to the chapel. And they made me write a big old intro, just so it wouldn’t be embarrassing. So feel free to embarrass them yourselves with all due brachos on OnlySimchas.
Rock chick Amy Winehouse will ditch her wild image to marry her fiance in a traditional Jewish wedding this summer.
And the Rehab singer’s man, Blake Fielder-Civil, has even agreed to convert to her religion for the big day.
The pair, famed for their wild drink binges, plan an intimate ceremony just for friends and family.
Tattooed Amy, 23, will swap her skimpy tops and skinny jeans for a white wedding dress.
Scruffy ex-barman Blake, 24, who has told pals he will do anything to make his future wife happy, is expected to don a skullcap and morning suit.
A friend of the couple said: “Amy has asked Blake to convert to Judaism. He isn’t religious so it’s no skin off his nose. He will do anything she wants and has spoken to her dad about it.
“Their wedding will be a traditional Jewish ceremony. For Blake and Amy, family is very important.
“They are very close to their parents so they will want them all to be there. It’s not going to be as rock and roll as you’d expect.” The couple will drink seven glasses of wine during the ceremony, where a rabbi will preside, and exchange gold rings.
Blake will break a glass on the floor with his right foot to mark the start of their marriage before the couple host a lavish party.
This week, the lay leadership (and most of the professional leadership) of the 
To promote his new album 
OK, I grant you, this isn’t exactly my usual territory, but I just had to share with you all. Salon contributor Jonah Keri writes about the 
