A three-foot-tall tablet with 87 lines of Hebrew that scholars believe dates from the decades just before the birth of Jesus is causing a quiet stir in biblical and archaeological circles, especially because it may speak of a messiah who will rise from the dead after three days.
If such a messianic description really is there, it will contribute to a developing re-evaluation of both popular and scholarly views of Jesus, since it suggests that the story of his death and resurrection was not unique but part of a recognized Jewish tradition at the time.
The tablet, probably found near the Dead Sea in Jordan according to some scholars who have studied it, is a rare example of a stone with ink writings from that era — in essence, a Dead Sea Scroll on stone.
It is written, not engraved, across two neat columns, similar to columns in a Torah. But the stone is broken, and some of the text is faded, meaning that much of what it says is open to debate.
Still, its authenticity has so far faced no challenge, so its role in helping to understand the roots of Christianity in the devastating political crisis faced by the Jews of the time seems likely to increase.
My name is Rob Kutner. I’m a writer for “The Daily Show,” as well as the creator of annual NYC Purim spiel “The Shushan Channel,” and the co-writer of a little piece of fun-with-stereotypes you may or may not have seen called “Jewno.”
But most recently, I’ve authored a book entitled APOCALYPSE HOW, a tongue-in-cheek “survival” guide that goes through topical chapters n Food, Clothing, Shelter, Social Life, Dating, Politics, Career, Recreation, and Finance — to show you how the world to come will be much better than the current one.
However, since the book’s publication, I’ve received numerous complaints from Jews (I know, can you believe it???) that the book does not sufficiently address specifically Jewish end-time issues.
So, I want to assure you that the next edition will contain an entire “Olam ha-Bagraphy,” including such critical tachliss as:
-Food — Ten low-fat, delicious, and totally blecch-friendly recipes for Levyatan (ever tried it smoked with a nice shmear?)
-Relocation — Finding a comfortable place to stay in Israel when all the world’s Jews have returned there (Hint: How do you feel about the Negev?)
-Home Makeover — Design advice for Beit HaMikdash 3 (Ex: Who makes the best dolphin skin, and where you can buy it wholesale)
-Personnel — Telling the real Mashiach from impostors (Spoiler alert: It is Schneerson after all - should have donated to the telethon!)
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BUT, I cannot release this updated version until ALL COPIES of the current run are sold out. So it’s up to you guys. Â Go towww.apocalypsehowthebook.com
and buy one now! Hint: Makes a great Bar/Bat Mitzvah gift — and much funnier than a savings bond.
Earlier this week, we posted a little American trouble for the Lubavitch (or perhaps it’s the end of the trouble, hard to know how to frame it).
Now, there’s more. Apparently this is their fifteen minutes. Or something.
First, England’s Jewish Chronicle notes that England’s Lubavitch movement is in some serious economic trouble: apparently because of pouring an enormous amount of money into a new club for young Jews that they opened this year. Apparently nearly all the donations they received this year went into said club, “including ‘almost all’ of this year’s £750,000 yield,” leaving them £1.5 million (that’s 2,959,951 dollars American) in debt - and of course, they’ve had to close the club, in addition to leaving their teachers unpaid since April (although donors have now stepped in to pay the teachers’ wages).
In Israel, though, they’ve got different problems. Or, perhaps it’s the same problems that they’ve got here. Apparently it’s just gotten out that there may be problems with the beliefs of some Lubavitchers regarding their former (or not) rebbe. The Jerusalem Post reports that a former FSU immigrant who was not Jewish , but was eligible under the law of return, had become interested in converting and studied in a meshichist Jerusalem ChABAD yeshiva.
About two weeks ago, he appeared before a beit din (rabbinic court) for his conversion. He had nearly finished, when one of the rabbis asked him if he believed that the rebbe was the messiah. He answered yes, that that was what he had been taught, and the court refused to convert him.
The JPost says, ”
… a source in the State Conversion Authority said that at least two leading religious Zionist rabbis ruled that messianic Chabad was beyond the pale of normative Jewish belief.
“They [messianic Chabad Hassidim] attribute to him supernatural powers years after he passed away. That is not Judaism. It’s something else.”
Chief Sephardi Rabbi Shlomo Amar will be asked to decide this weighty theological question and in the process pass judgment on thousands of members of the messianic stream within Chabad Hassidism who believe that Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, who passed away in 1994, is the messiah.
This according to the article; I have heard an (unsubstantiated as of yet) rumour that, in fact, Rabbi Amar has ruled against the conversion applicant, and thus, essentially declared meshichist Lubavitch treif. I am curious as to what effect will this have on ChABAD: Is this a recognition that some beliefs are outside the pale, even if the holder of said beliefs has the outer appearance of Orthodox praxis? What effect will this have on the yeshivot that are still er, offering this perspective, either in Israel or the USA?
By the way, speaking of treif, Rubashkin (who is owned by the ChABAD Lubavitch Rubashkin family just to be on topic), has apparently had its teudat kashrut yanked by KAJ (HT to Failedmessiah)
New York’s supreme court ruled that two of the three main bodies of Chabad have the right to expel Congregation Lubavitch - the messianist faction- from the synagogue in the bottom of 770. Apparently this struggle has been going on for about 15 years (actually, this makes me feel much better - I hadn’t known that there was much of anything going on opposed to the crazier factions of the movement, which, from all accounts now make up, at least half of Chabad) but the suit stems from when some member/s of the messianist group defaced a plaque that referred to the late Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson as “of blessed memory” because that’s not what Congregation Lubavitch believed was the current state of said rebbe.
New York State’s Supreme Court ruled Thursday in favor of Merkos L’Inyonei Chinuch and Agudas Chassidei Chabad, two of Chabad’s three main bodies, giving them the right to eject Congregation Lubavitch Inc. from the synagogue located in the basement of 770 and 784-788 Eastern Parkway, in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn. The sites represent the worldwide headquarters of Chabad-Lubavitch.
In that first case, the court ruled in favor of Chabad’s leadership, declaring in June 2006 that Merkos and Agudas are the rightful owners of the entire property. The current suit was brought by Merkos and Agudas in order to give them the authority to physically remove the opposing congregation, and its four gabbais, or trustees, from the premises.
At the nexus of brand marketing and contemporary Torah Judaism you will find this blog, where I ask the question, “Who is Moshiach’s target market?”
Jewish tradition is replete with phrases regarding the generation to which Moshiach will come. The generation to experience the Messianic transition is to be “(brazen-)faced as a dog”, is to “thirst for the words of G-d”, and so on. Today, our classification systems are less likely to offer an animal analogy as they are to rely on psychographic, consumer research, or demographic data.
I proffer that Web 2.0, social networking, and social marketing — buzzwords which are becoming the lifeblood of the new marketing arenae — provide a uniquely pro-Messianic environment.
So who is Moshiach destined for? The collaborators, the individualists, or the workaholics? The “early adopters” or the “echo boomers”?
I just got back from the Matisyahu concert in Boston. Like, the I’m still sweaty kind of just got back. I am totally blown away. And not necessarily by what you might think.
I felt a little weird going tonight because of the whole Jdub break. But I’m pulled to any places that have some twinkle of reaching upward. So tonight I left my history paper on second Temple period apocalypticism and ventured over to Lansdowne St in Boston.
I witnessed a deeply puzzling phenomenon: the Pseudo-Jew.
Walking into the Avalon ballroom, first thing I noticed was this was not your Moshav Band crowd. This was not Jewish hippies. There were few kippot and lots of pointy-toed shoes and frat t-shirts. That “us-ness,” that camaraderie I feel at Jewish gatherings, was distinctly absent. Because what creates a collective is a shared understanding of what you are participating in. I expected people to not quite get it, many to not be Jewish, but I was disappointed by the depth of it. It’s one thing not to know how to sing along to “yibaneh beis hamikdash, bimheira b’yameinu.” It’s another to be freak dancing with your girlfriend to the lyrics of a song describing the Jewish people’s survival of the Holocaust.
After two experiences at the concert tonight, my question is this: what makes people pretend to be Jewish at a Matisyahu concert? More »
As long as I’ve used StumbleUpon, I’ve spent the bulk of my time stumbling the Judaism section. For the first few months, all was fine, but then I started noticing Hebrew Christian (self-identified as Messianic Judaism) pages amid the legitimately Jewish sites. I flagged these pages as being in the wrong category, and when asked to label correctly, I usually chose Christianity, as there was no Messianic Judaism option. I didn’t get particularly bent out of shape, as the mechanism for alerting the good people at StumbleUpon was easy to access and use. However, lately I’ve seen this problem elsewhere, in more popular software with less transparent labeling systems - namely, iTunes.
Yesterday, as I was poking around for Jewish podcasts for my ride to visit my parents, I noticed that not only were there messianic podcasts in the Judaism section, but also that messianic podcasts were climbing the list of most popular Jewish podcasts. As soon as I realized this was happening, I began to examine podcasts a bit more carefully before I chose to download and listen - for instance, what other podcasts were popular with listeners of a particular podcast? In doing so I seem to have thus far avoided podcast evangelism. But I worry.
I worry that the teens whose Jewish experience I am charged with stewarding (and all the rest of them) will accidentally fall prey to these messianists, and as I’ve now noticed this disturbing labeling trend in two different online categorization systems, I wonder if there are specific actions to be taken in the web realm. As far as I can tell, this doesn’t seem to be a problem on Jews for Judaism’s (the leading anti-missionary Jewish organization) radar. Do we think Hebrew Christianity should have its own category? Who gets to decide what the correct label for such a category would be (in my mind, one without the word Judaism)? What do we do?
At least there’s one silver lining to this gloomy cloud: Truth is beyond every man. One can never truly know The Divine Author’s intent. It transcends all interpretation. While we dive headlong into apocalypse, we can at least take some solace in knowing that Divine Justice shall prevail, as it only can. What all these batshit crazies always fail to realize is that His plan and yours are far from one and the same. And when the hammer drops, it will hit hardest those most convinced of their own righteousness.
