Rebuilding, Reshaping, and Reclaiming Our Identity after It’s Been Smashed to Bits
by Loolwa Khazzoom
Those of us with chronic pain or other chronic illness may find ourselves wandering through life feeling dumfounded: How did I get here? This is not who I am or who I was supposed to be or where I was heading. Who am I now? How do I integrate these different pieces of my identity? What is authentically me? How do I accept and incorporate my condition without letting it define me? On the occasion of tsha b’ab, a Jewish memorial day, I approach these questions through telling the story of a national, religious, cultural, historic, and ultimately, personal journey.
Two thousand, five hundred, and ninety five years ago to this day, Babylonian armies destroyed the holy temple in Jerusalem, ransacked the ancient Kingdom of Judah, murdered scores of people throughout the kingdom (known as “Jews” – ie, the people of Judah), and hauled off scores more as captives, to the land of Babylon.
Seven years ago, around this very day, I stood on the edge of the land that once was a small city in that ancient Kingdom of Judah – on the exact spot where the city guard looked from his tower into the distance and saw flames of light extinguishing in surrounding towns. The ensuing darkness signaled that the Babylonians were approaching and the end was near.
A chill went through my spine. More »
