Charles Bronfman

Edgar Bronfman

Michael Milken

Stephen Spielberg

Michael Steinhardt

Larry Tisch

Being that I’m convinced that I’ll never see a dime of Jewish establishment funding again, I’ve forgone all inhibitions with this one. After posting Michael Steinhardt’s photo in accompaniment of a piece below, I was stricken by the realization that, beyond their wealth and Jewishness, the one trait all major male Jewish philanthropists seem to have in common is, well, the fact that they’re all exceptionally unattractive. You have to wonder, why exactly is that? Don’t any good lookin’ guys like to throw the dough around? Yeesh, what a gruesome bunch! Spielberg’s the only salvagable character in the lot! I mean, Larry Tisch is dead, so he’s definitely not getting any prettier…