Finally arriving at the rather reasonable conclusion that no Jew wants to go to a hokey Jew-party (er, unless they’re hareidi), sponsors of this year’s Israeli Independence Day parties in NYC are aiming to liven up the scene with Israeli DJs, pop stars, and swank new venues.

Unfortunately, I promoted an event just like this last year (a 55th birthday celebration for Israel, which doubled as a fundraiser for victims of terrorism), and it was a total bust. We booked the ever-so-posh Eugene for the night, brought in a couple of Israeli DJs, and had a lovely spread of Kosher food. Thousands were invited, mere dozens showed. Apparently few Jews want to got a hip Jew-party either.

Man, I hope these cats have better luck than we did.