In These Trying Times
On Gaza — 8-19-05
by Farrah Fidler
I hate the fact that I don’t have the courage
to pick up and leave for Israel right now
That I don’t know what I would do if my back was against the wall,
Would I have the guts to be one of those people in Gaza
shouting tefilah and refusing to leave on my own will?
Or would I be rational, knowing that no matter what
I would be out anyway, so why not leave peacefully and on my own terms
I hate that the Israel I know inside of me is only a minor piece
The Mizrachi music that is the beat of my heart
Moving me forward, guiding my hips as I walk
Israel, I know not of your settlements, your bulletproof cars
ensuring safety in unsure lands in unsure times
I know little of your holiest of holies, barely able
to muster up some feeling of a presence far greater than I will ever know.
But I know of the beauty of your land
Hikes in the North on trails I will never remember the names of
Gardens my photos do no justice
Deserts I dream to camp
Beaches I grow tired from the overpowering heat and sink into the sand
Seas with waves I have grown to love
People who are like family upon first site
Israel, this is the you I know and internalize and love
sometimes more than my own life
You gave birth to my father, indirectly giving birth to me
Israel, I am so desperate sometimes for the caress of your sun on my skin
Israel, I am so desperate inside for your warm embrace
like a mother who dies, I fear I will never be able to touch you again if not now
Israel, my longing for you grows with each passing day
I am but a grain of sand longing to be washed on your shores
This is the Israel that I know
Warm, inviting, welcoming, impolite, brash, struggling, vulgar, strong,
more beautiful than I will ever be
Israel, if you were a woman all eyes would be on you,
people gasping with every step you take
I am but a mere American in awe of you
In awe of your people
In awe of the strength I wish I possessed
so that I could one day be a part of you
And even this
Even my words
Even if I exhausted every way to express how I feel about you
It would not be enough
Like me sitting here at my desk
Writing till my hands grow numb
It can never be enough until I finally wash up upon your shores
And wait to be welcomed by your warmth
I will compose poems in your mother tongue and wait for your mother embrace
Sorry to ask this here, but I was wondering if anyone can convert to the faith and become a citizen of Israel. Like, become Jewish and then settle in some guy’s backyard. Is that allowed?
Yes; similarly to immigration to any country
Yeah, but sort of not similar too, right?
Um, am I the only one here that thinks that really decent sentiment has been packaged into a really bad poem? Mobius, I know you’ve got better stuff for us than this.
If you convert to judaism, the Law Of Return is still “active”. That means that you can move to Israel “in a jewish sense”.
I think ppl (Josh) should not be so negative and realize the emotion in the poem…just like a human being ..to want to put another person down…that’s why we have the problems we have today…