I’m new at Jewschool from deep within the Orthodox world. In a more perfect world my first post would be more thoughtful and I’ve got some of those in the works. In the meantime I’ll just be provocative and tick some people off. Here goes nothing.
Heeb magazine was kind enough to perpetuate a nasty canard about Orthodox Jews by displaying a sheet with a hole in it on the cover of its sex issue with the title “Holy Sheet! It’s the sex issue”. Aside from the corny joke and the gratuitous cleavage (take note Jewlicious), it’s a really obnoxious slight against Orthodox Jews. For once and for all, we don’t have sex through a hole in the sheet. It’s just an urban legend that anyone capable of using Google or looking something up on Snopes.com would know. Even if Heeb knows it isn’t true, it’s not fair game for a joke any more than any entire community’s sexual habits are. Have you ever seen a magazine cover joking about father’s day in Puerto Rico? I don’t think so.
Although the protests that Judaism is entirely against such practices aren’t entirely true. There are branches within Orthodox Judaism that teach ascetic practices like having as little pleasure as possible from sex. Ger chasidism is one. But that is very very far from mainstream and even they don’t use a sheet with a hole in it. Take a step back and compare to Christianity. At least our ascetics are getting married and having sex. Theirs are depriving themselves for their whole lives. But that’s entirely out of mainstream and anyone reading this will never meet an Orthdox Jew who is even remotely like that.
There is a bizarre website called Hole In The Sheet that claims that the origin of the hole-in-the-sheet myth is

This is a nasty urban myth propagated from Orthodox men hanging their “talit kattan” on the clothesline to dry, since the talit kattan is a rectangular undershirt garment with a circle cut out for the head.

Either way shame on you Heeb for perpetuating the canard! We need such nonsense like a loch in kop.