In an article today in the NY Region section, Corey Kilgannon writes: “Three Quiet Brothers on Long Island, All of Them Related to Hitler.”

The visitor asked the landscaper about his father, who was born William Patrick Hitler, son of Alois Hitler Jr., who was Adolf Hitler’s half-brother (they shared the same father). Alois called his son Willy. The Führer called Willy “my loathsome nephew.”

First off, what a great name. Right? Three Quiet Brothers on Long Island? That’s the setup: All of Them Related to Hitler. Bang! The punchline.
Possibly, the context of the article is the new play, “Little Willy” about the nephew’s father. Not only that, but apparently the boys are planning to write a book. New York Times is obviously very excited by the answers this new book may contain:

Would the book address the intriguing stories that have circulated about them in this part of Long Island for decades? Did Willy really blackmail Uncle Adolf with information suggesting that the Führer could be half-Jewish? Did one of Willy’s sons really have the middle name Adolf? Since all four brothers were childless, was it because of a pact to end the Hitler bloodline?

A pact to end the Hitler bloodline? What the hell, New York Times! What crack are you smoking? I seriously doubt that they are childless because they want to end the Hitler bloodline. It isn’t like the horrible dictator was prophesized to establish the line of Hitler, that would eventually culminate in the anti-Christ. This is some serious Dan Brown conspiracy.