Privilege of charisma in Jewish leadership
Tip of the hat to Rabbi Jill Jacobs on jspot:
All of which brings me to what I really want to talk about: namely, the privileging of charisma (and mostly of the male variety) in Jewish leadership. Certainly not all rabbis accused of pedophilia or other types of sexual abuse are charismatic types; and certainly not all charismatic male rabbis act improperly. However, charismatic male rabbis do tend to attract disciples. This position of power over disciples creates the opportunity for abuse.
By nature, rabbis have a lot of power. A certain amount of transference happens between an emotionally distressed congregant or a student newly immersed in Torah study and his/her seemingly omnipotent and omniscient rabbi. The vast majority of rabbis respond to this power differential by establishing and maintaining appropriate professional boundaries. Some, however, actively use their charisma to attract people to themselves, and to bring disciples past appropriate emotional, and sometimes sexual, boundaries.
So how did Gafni get ahead? Simple: he puts on a good show. And he attracts a crowd. Given the Jewish community’s emphasis on numbers, and on engagement of the young and unaffiliated, this seems to be what counts.
There are many reasons why charismatic leadership is unhealthy. For starters, this style fails to develop new leaders or to build institutions. But even beyond this, charismatic leadership invites abuse of power: people want to be close to the charismatic leader and s/he (though much more often “he”) has the opportunity to cross emotional or sexual boundaries with these newfound disciples.
By emphasizing charisma over all other leadership traits, the Jewish community creates room for such abuses of power. While few have achieved Gafni’s level of alleged criminal behavior, the Jewish world often seems all too willing to ignore evidence of improper, unethical, or sometimes simply mean interpersonal behavior when the reward is good entertainment.
While we would not expect everyone we invite to speak to act appropriately 100% of the time, we should consider whether the misdeeds of the person who teaches Torah taint the Torah that s/he teaches. Are we willing to overlook a person’s personal misbehavior for the sake of drawing large crowds, or will we consider the vessel along with its contents?
namely, the privileging of charisma (and mostly of the male variety) in Jewish leadership.
The rabbi may be correct, but pointing it out in this way makes it sound more like she’s regretful that female charismatic leadership isn’t similarly privileged.
In fact, during the 25+ years of my adult life, I’ve known many women rabbis, and, to be honest, I’ve been very disappointed. They try to come off as some sort of oppressed class who somehow have special insight merely becuase of the their reproductive plumbing, but in reality, the ones I’ve known have been careerist daughters of privilege who have no more spiritual content than the average man on the pulpit.
As for Gafni, well, I can only take Renewal in small doses, and I’ve never seen him, so I have no opinion about whether he was an asset to k’lal Yisrael. Obviously, even in a liberal denomination like Renewal, being a Don Juan and being a rabbi are mutually exclusive, and Gafni should have realized years ago he was in the long line of work when he couldn’t control his impulses towards seduction. As to his alleged “vicitms,” I’m not sure I have too much sympathy (this is assuming he didn’t impregnate anyone or pass on an STD through irresponsible behavior). They were adults, they had sex with him consensually. Gafni may have been a putz for giving feeding them a a silly romantic fantasy that he was going to drop it all and run off with each of them, they were foolish for believing that a man in his position would do such a thing.
As for Rabbi Jacobs’ comments about charism, well what else does Judaism have to offer? The intellectual route of Torah learning learning is insufferably boring and is mere sophistry based on preosterous premises. (Sorry, I’m in a Talmud study group learning “Bava Metziya,” one of the more pointless peices of religious (or legal) literature ever written. (But them I haven’t tried “Bava Kama” yet.)) Getting involved in communal life is hardly beter. All you do is sit at boring meetings being nice to people you don’t like, and in any event, only the big $$$$ donors get any respect. And the seminaries “develop their leaders,” extruding a drab mass of plastic politically-correct psychobabble who give sermons that help me start my Shabbos nap before Musaf. I would say, give me some charisma, please! And if ant charismatic women rabbi want to “take advantage” of my vulnerablity and “use” me for some casual sex, they are welcome to try their charisma on me. 🙂 (Just kidding, Ms. Apikoris would have my head…., but if I were single…)
Wow your post just demonstrates to me once again the real lack of feminist analysis that some folks who comment on this site seem incapable of having–“some kind of oppressed class”–“female plumbing”–can we say fred flinestone?
Seriously, until you can engage with this in a way that you can acknowledge your privilege, and that you are part of the problem by even having the nerve to say you don’t empathize with numerous women who have sound reason to be filing claims against this man, then save it–there are too many people who are hurting right now, and i’m sorry that you can’t see that.
BS”D
Thanks, Cole. I understand & have seen what C”A says about some female rabbis – but give us a break. Women are relatively new to public Jewish leadership & trust me, C”A, you don’t “get” it. It doesn’t excuse some women’s davka attitude, but still.
yeah, what cole said. and also, if you haven’t noticed it, especially being linked around this site, some of us are already creating new forms of communal life which don’t revolve around charismatic leaders, sitting at boring meetings being nice to people we don’t like and there are no big donors for us to kiss up to.
Seriously, if the choice is between extremely problematic things and boring things you don’t like, i would hope one would get off their ass and make a third option, build the community they’d like to see. It is possible to build vibrant, energetic community that is democratic.
This was a great post, Cole. I struggle a lot about how the Renewal movement (and movements in general) accept really terrible behavior from (yes, mostly male) charismatic leaders because “look at all the good they do” or some supposed “yetzer tov = yetzer hora” equation. In my opinion, these leaders aren’t just tolerated, but protected and enabled in bad behavior (I don’t just mean sexual, but social in general).
I see so many amazing and – yes- charismatic (!) potential leaders give up on trying to negotiate the hazardous minefield of egos in the current “Macherarchy.” When we operate out of feelings of scarcity, we accept leaders that frankly aren’t good enough, get resulting communities that aren’t good enough, and miss out on the potential leaders who are turned off or turned away by the communities’ status quo. Ugh. It’s depressing, but I’m glad it’s getting talked about. Looking forward to hearing more.
“trust me, C”A, you don’t “get” it.”
I think we’d be more inclined to trust people who like to say “you don’t get it” if they would actually bother to explain what it is that someone is not getting.
Thanks, Cole. I understand & have seen what C”A says about some female rabbis – but give us a break.
The problem is that most (I might even say the vast majority) of women rabbis I’ve encountered over the past decades are more interested in aggrandizement of female power at the expense of community needs or even reality.
Seriously, until you can engage with this in a way that you can acknowledge your privilege,
“Privilege?” What are you talkiing about. I spend my life in fear of sexual harrassment lawsuits.
and that you are part of the problem by even having the nerve to say you don’t empathize with numerous women who have sound reason to be filing claims against this man, then save it–there are too many people who are hurting right now, and i’m sorry that you can’t see that.
No you’re not, your post give you an opportunity to get smug feelings of moral superiority.
Seriously, if the choice is between extremely problematic things and boring things you don’t like, i would hope one would get off their ass and make a third option, build the community they’d like to see. It is possible to build vibrant, energetic community that is democratic.
Been there, done that, and it doesn’t work.
All communities degenerate into loudmouth machers running things and the mass of disaffected members generally being disengaged.
Feminism has added very little of benefit to this mix, except, perhpas, getting the mass of non-orthodox Jewish men alienated from organized jewish life.