Culture, Religion

Kol HaKavod! or, How to Have a Kosher Potluck Without Keeping Kosher

Potlucks are difficult for me. I keep Kosher: the traditional, Orthodox, Shulkhan Aruch kind of Kosher. Many people, in particular, many of my friends who I want to pray and eat with – don’t. So, potlucks become a problem.
There are two bad answers that I am familiar with. Number one – Kosher only. This doesn’t work, because among other problems, it limits the number of people who can participate, the amount of food that there is, and it creates an unwanted stratification of the community. Number two – Vegetarian. Under this model, the food is kept vegetarian, which limits the possible kashrut violations, and allows pretty much everyone to participate. While many more people are comfortable this way, those of us who observe a narrower definition of kosher are still not satisfied. At the vegetarian potlucks, we have two options. The first is to rely on a mashgiach-like guide to make assumptions about different people’s observance, and to inform us of what we can and can not eat. The second is to put people on the spot one at a time, to ask them what they made, and to ask them about their own religious practices. Both options are intrusive, rude, make everyone feel uncomfortable, and not to mention the headache that the host has in keeping everyone’s utensils separate.
This past holiday, up in Boston, I had the privelege of spending the evening at the Moishe/Kavod House where they hosted an awesome Yom Tov potluck. The method they used solved all of my problems. All the food that people brought was placed discretely on one of two buffet tables. The first was labeled “Vegetarian” and the second table was reserved for “Hekhsher Only” food made of ingredients that all carried kosher certification, and that were prepared in kitchens that only use certified kosher products. Each table was laid out with its own distinct set of utensils, and each spread was overflowing with yummy tofu, vegetables, quinoa, rice and other veggie delicacies. (My last-minute, improvised, lemon-basil quinoa came out particularly delicious – I’ll post the recipe in the comments.)
Everyone got to participate. Everyone got to eat. Nobody felt singled out and nobody was made uncomfortable. One community, many practices. A perfect pluralistic potluck.
Kol HaKavod!
Note:  zt pointed out a great discussion that BZ has of potlucks and the two table system in his hilchot pluralism.

23 thoughts on “Kol HaKavod! or, How to Have a Kosher Potluck Without Keeping Kosher

  1. Lemon-Basil Quinoa
    1 Cup Quinoa (I used red quinoa which was pretty, but unncessary)
    1 Onion
    1/2 Lemon
    1/2 tsp Basil
    1/4 tsp black pepper
    Shredded Almonds
    Mix dried quinoa, zest and juice from the half-lemon, and basil and pepper in a pot. Add two cups of water, bring to a boil, making sure that all ingredients are mixed well.
    Lower heat, cover, let simmer for about 15-20 mins.
    Turn off heat, and let quionoa sit uncovered until remaining water is absorbed/evaporates
    While quinoa is cooking, cut onion in strips and carmelize
    Once quinoa is fairly dry, mix in carmelized onions and a bunch of shredded almonds
    Serve cold

  2. josh- lemon basil quinoa sounds wonderful. I’ll have to try it some time.
    “two tabling”, e.g. at Tikkun Leil Shabbat has generally worked well for me. The only case where it doesn’t is if the kosher food isn’t very appetizing, and then I’m not too pleased seeing all that food around me I can’t eat, while I’m hungry

  3. still better than approaching ppl I know who keep strictly (read hehsher only) kosher at a veggie potluck, and tracking down their contributions.

  4. Thanks for the shout-out, ZT. The two-table system rocks!
    Sarah, a discussion of the carrying issue with regard to Shabbat potlucks can be found on Two Heads of Lettuce. I think the Post-It solution sounds reasonable. Josh, would you like to post the lemon-basil quinoa recipe on Two Heads? Looks like it’s even kosher l’Pesach! (For now.)
    As discussed at the end of Hilchot Pluralism Part I, one thing I like about the two-table system is that the labels for the two tables are only descriptive, and neither is called “kosher” or “not kosher”, since many people consider vegetarian products without certification to be kosher (and consider themselves to keep kosher while eating these products), while others don’t, so avoiding these labels is a way to avoid taking a communal stand on this issue.

  5. A fuller treatment of the two-table system can be read here. BZ looks at the history of, ideological arguments in favor of, and communities using this clever approach.

  6. Rebecca – Yeah, it is pretty frustrating to see one large table, and the smaller, Hekhsher only table. But, like you said, it beats the alternatives

  7. For those people who have experienced the two table system with a much smaller heksher only table, how do people approach eating the food? Does everyone eat the heksher only food leaving even less for the people that require it, or do people try and limit themselves to the table they contributed to so that the producers and consumers are balanced on each table?
    Yes, I know there are people with heksher only kitchens who will eat vegetarian out, so they can help provide extra heksher only food. But if people are commenting on a noticeably smaller selection then I would assume the people bringing heksher only food, but eating from the vegetarian table do not make enough of an impact to balance out the food.

  8. Thanks for the shout-out, ZT. The two-table system rocks!
    Sarah, a discussion of the carrying issue with regard to Shabbat potlucks can be found here on Two Heads of Lettuce. I think the Post-It solution sounds reasonable. Josh, would you like to post the lemon-basil quinoa recipe on Two Heads? Looks like it’s even kosher l’Pesach! (For now.)
    As discussed at the end of Hilchot Pluralism Part I, one thing I like about the two-table system is that the labels for the two tables are only descriptive, and neither is called “kosher” or “not kosher”, since many people consider vegetarian products without certification to be kosher (and consider themselves to keep kosher while eating these products), while others don’t, so avoiding these labels is a way to avoid taking a communal stand on this issue.

  9. my community can’t stomach the two table solution as there’s not consensus that permitting carried/un-hechshered food – even on its own table – isn’t a tacit endorsement. sucks for me.

  10. Avi,
    I am involved in Tikkun Leil Shabbat, a great davening and social justice community in DC. We use the two-table system and have since out inception.
    The way it works for us most people leave the hechshered food table to the folks who don’t eat from the unhechshered vegetarian table. When it is clear that everyone has eaten their fill and folks have had seconds, then occasionally folks will check out the hechshered offerings.

  11. Avi– my [somewhat limited] experience has been that there are fewer “hechsher only”(HO) folks at said events, so there are less options. it hasn’t been a physical lack of food, just less selection. So if some HO items turn out poorly/ are things I dislike, and I don’t get enough for that reason, I will not be a happy camper, especially watching my friends eat lots of yummy looking unhechshered stuff.
    two tabling is the most pluralistic of said options, and therefore often the best choice, just sayin’ it’s not perfect.

  12. It all depends on the potluck and your community, but at Ruach Minyan (which is the current incarnation of the former Van Ness Minyan, the first known to have used the Two-Table System) we’ve always had plenty of both, no problems with having enough hechsher-only stuff. When my husband & I hosted a Ruach Minyan potluck at our place, in fact, almost everything was hechsher-only: only 3 dishes were on the vegetarian-but-not-hechsher-only table–2 of ours & one of someone elses’s–and they all were there because they contained non-hechshered cheese, which our community considers acceptable under Conservative kashrut standards anyway (see Isaac Klein’s Guide to Jewish Practice on rennet as a d’var hadash, and much cheese now is labelled when made from microbial rennet rather than from animal rennet); we were just all being extra-cautious in alerting those who might not accept non-hechshered cheese, even though our stated potluck guidelines are that it is fine.
    As for the not-so-appealing kosher food Rebecca M complains about, I can only suggest:
    –make sure to make something tasty yourself that you’re happy to eat a lot of;
    –come to Ruach Minyan, where the hechsher-only options are plentiful;
    and/or
    –ask yourself again why it is you don’t accept the food on That Other Table. Seriously. My husband & I keep the level of kashrut that we do–i.e., allowing vegetarian food from non-hechsher-only kitchens not only in our mouths but also on our dairy plates & silverware–because we wanted our friends who keep vegetarian-but-not-hechsher-only kitchens, or who make such food in their general-use kitchens, to be able to bring potluck contributions to our house and have everyone eat off the same plates. (And we ourselves accept kosher-by-ingredients, via label-reading [as is Sephardic practice in many cases], rather than just hechsher-only, in part b/c we became observant in England, where almost nothing is actually hechshered, & you rely instead on labels, “Suitable for Vegetarians” markings, and the printed book of what food products are okayed by the authorities.) I’m not sufficiently concerned about what their roommate 2 weeks ago may have been cooking in the same oven, etc, to reject their food on these grounds: I’m confident that this food contains nothing objectionable to me, there’s no resonable chance in my mind that it could contain a halakhically-significant quantity of Bad Stuff I Should Be Worried About, so that’s that in my book.
    I’d be interested to check out TLS sometime, and I probably will. But I haven’t so far–in part b/c it’s far for me to walk (about an hour) & I’m busy! At this time of year it had been starting before Shabbat came in, and I’m a need-my-prep-time-right-up-to-candlelighting kinda gal.But ia do hope I’ll take the time for a saunter down to the RAC once Shabbat start s coming in earlier, on a Shabbat when I’m free…

  13. Why I think a “two-table” system is hilarious? Because it’s a modernization of the old joke that ends with, “that’s the shul” [or in this case, “table”] “I wouldn’t be caught dead at…”

  14. Esther–
    Joking aside (and I do like that desert-island joke), the two-table system is davka the polar opposite of “that’s the shul/table I wouldn’t be caught dead at”:
    –the non-hechsher-only-food folks have no objection to the hechser-only food: indeed, the concern of people like Rebecca M is that this food is so A-OK with these people they they might eat too much of it & not leave enough for those who only eat from the hechsher-only table;
    –those who are eating from the hechsher-only table are not only beyond being “caught dead in” a place where others are not observing the same standards of kashrut, they’re actually being part of a single kehillah with them, even if the 2 tables indicate a difference in approach & what to eat.

  15. becca– I don’t think I’ve had a problem with people from the nonHO table taking too much food.
    sarah m– yeah, but what if what I make just didn’t turn out well? also, at least this year, I have rather irregular supermarket access, so at least at my last potluck that influenced what I could bring.

  16. maybe i am off base here but my sense is that the options at both tables are usually pretty good. perhaps there are occasionally bad combinations of available offerings and personal preferences. that, though, is a risk of any potluck. 10-12 HO entrees should, usually, meet everyone’s needs.

  17. I think I should wait before commenting while tired and grouchy, as I overstated my point. I should have been clearer that it was a worst case scenario that happened once, not a constant problem.
    and worst case scenario is also too strong a term, but the right phrase just isn’t coming. I was a little hungry (and jealous), but still had a good time that night.

  18. As a vegetarian who would only eat at the hechshered table, I have a few words to say about communal food. I find that I can rarely enjoy a potluck shabbat meal outside of these two-table scenarios since most shabbat meals are meat, and if I want a filling vegetarian entree I need to make it myself. I have gotten looks of scorn and plenty of eye rolls when I tell very well intentioned people that I am vegetarian upon accepting a shabbat meal invitation. Sure, there is kugel and salad, but I know that no omnivore would considder that a filling meal alone, but for some reason its good enough for vegetarians. I find this most disturbing because most of these eye rollers come from a very priviledges group of Jews when it comes to keeping kosher. They are used to a choice of restaurants, and expect that kosher food will be provided for them at a number of settings, such as business meetings, etc. These people are the ones who feel slighted when the kosher meal is an airplane dinner, and expect that the event organizer go the extra distance to secure them a nice kosher meal. While they expect special accommodation for all their dietary needs, they see vegetarians as a nuisance and a burden. Perhaps I didnt grow up with a choice of kosher retsaurants to eat in, and remember many days not sharing cookies and such with friends at lunch because ‘I kept kosher.” I expect that when I choose to keep a strict dietary standard shared by very few other people in the world I will often miss out on some of the best food. Complaining about only two kosher dishes at a potluck sounds like a ‘glass half empty” approach to me. It sounds a lot better than the onion-less salads I have often eaten at restaurants. Keeping kosher can be difficult. It is not the norm. But I hope that if you would like to see people you care about, such as those you are having shabbat potlucks with, respect your kashruth standards I hope you are also the kosher keeping kind of Jew who will accommodate anyones food oddities, be they vegetarian, lactose intolerant, allergies, etc. Lets let out kashruth standards make us more sensitive to different peoples cuisine needs.

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