What the heck is the Jewish Journal doing publishing a story about lighting candles and smacking women for Chanukah? (For a second year in a row?!) It’s not funny, it’s amazingly offensive, and I feel I’m doing a disservice just by linking to it here.
The whole piece is “perfectly acceptable [ways] to slap around women.” Seriously.

Therefore, in the spirit of Hanukkah, I will describe 8 situations where it is perfectly acceptable to abuse women physically, sexually, or psychologically, one for each night. You can take these women and paddle their backsides, and there will be no consequences, unless gratification is a consequence. Do not worry about the feminists getting angry, which is how they normally go through life. They will allow this abuse to happen. So for those of you out there looking to abuse women, here are the eight acceptable situations.

Not. O. Kay.
Maybe I’m an angry feminist, but I fail to see the humour in listing why it’s okay to abuse Muslim women, poor and/or ugly women, prostitutes, women with various political views… It’s just wrong. And justifying it as a Chanukah column because it’s holiday of “pure male testosterone”? No. (“We came, we saw, and we conquered. We kicked some rumpus. Pure military force allowed the Maccabees to just smack around the enemy like they were women in need of a good backside slap.”)
The final paragraph is, supposedly, the “twist” we were waiting for, that justifies the whole piece:

The bottom line is either all women should get abused, or none of them should get abused. I prefer none of them get abused. I also prefer to live in a world where feminists actually stop promoting a liberal agenda, and start fighting for all women to be treated with respect. Men and women would both benefit from this.

But… no. For Chanukah, would someone please buy Eric, the author, a book on intro to Feminism?