Pesach Sheini for the Rest of Us
Two guest bloggers from Bat Kol, an organisation for religious lesbians in Israel, have written a post over at Tirtzah, a blog by/for frum queer women that holds events in the NY-area, about Pesach Sheini as a time for inclusion for marginalised members of our Jewish communities.
In the past few years some of us have been crying out “Why should we be excluded?”. Religious gay men and women and aging single women would like to build Jewish homes, and take part in the mitzvah of procreation and to be, in the most basic sense, a part of the fabric of the nation; agunot would like to remarry
within the strictures of Jewish law, and find a halachic solution to their problem;
women would like to participate in mitzvot such as Torah study, and to be full
participants in their communities and synagogues. These cries, like the cries of the ritually impure men, stem from a sincere and truthful desire to obey the laws of the Torah, out of a deep understanding of the meaning of belonging to the Jewish people, but without the ability to find their own place in the current tapestry of mitzvoth.
The post asks good questions, offers textual background for those unfamiliar with Pesach Sheini and the rules for the Passover sacrifice, and leaves us with thoughts for the holiday we no longer celebrate.
The Fourteenth of Iyar, Pesach Sheni, is not celebrated today. Beyond the symbolic gesture of not saying Tachanun, the penitential prayer recited daily, the day is not marked. This is why we suggest turning the Fourteenth of Iyar into the day of religious tolerance.
Worth reading.
These cries, like the cries of the ritually impure men, stem from a sincere and truthful desire to obey the laws of the Torah, out of a deep understanding of the meaning of belonging to the Jewish people, but without the ability to find their own place in the current tapestry of mitzvoth.
Where does one start with this sentence?
1) current tapestry of mitzvot? as opposed to the tapestry from a year ago? are we now in the business of adding or eliminating mitzvahs to suit personal desires?
2) sincere and truthful desire to obey the laws of the Torah? it’s one thing to say, i’m just not ready to obey this law and that law, but it is another to erase those laws entirely because they make you uncomfortable.
the only way for a man or woman, gay or straight, young or old to participate in the mitzvah of procreation in a Torah way is through marriage with a partner of the opposite sex. why would individuals who claim to love Torah and want to obey Halacha dispute this? none of us are perfect, but we don’t go around changing halacha to suit our mishegas.
sometimes I think people who want to change halacha this way are just perfectionists. they want to be perfect. they need to think of themselves as perfect. they can’t stand that Torah says they are not perfect. the traditional response to Torah saying you are not perfect is to perfect oneself. the wrong way to achieve perfection is to change Torah, to change halacha. you’re not perfect, and that’s ok. you were created to work on it!
“The day of religious tolerance”??? Oh, please. Isn’t every day religious tolerance day? I honestly can’t think of anything more banal, vacuous and cheesy.
People who know what Pesach Sheini really is, and how it fits into the structure of the calendar, can and should mark it.
But taping it up with happy “religious tolerance” wrapping paper gives it all the excitement of diet yogurt.
Eric that reminds me of the complaint “Isn’t teshuvah a mitsvah every day??” Well, yeah, but there’s still a need for Yom Kipur to draw our attention and effort as a day set aside for it.
Pesach Sheni, the “misfits’ holiday”, if you will, totally holds a special place in my heart. But just like Tu Bishvat, (which began as the New Year for Fruit Tree Titheing and turned into Love the Environment and Eretz Yisrael Day) doesn’t lose its original, tax-law-eqsue meaning when compatible lessons are grafted onto it, I don’t see why Pesach Sheni can’t be an obscure temple-era do-over for the Paschal Lamb, *AS WELL AS* a day to reflect on how we can respect and honor more the tselem elohim in everyone, despite our differences and whos considered an “insider” or “outsider” in our communities.
Firouz:
sincere and truthful desire to obey the laws of the Torah? it’s one thing to say, i’m just not ready to obey this law and that law, but it is another to erase those laws entirely because they make you uncomfortable.
the only way for a man or woman, gay or straight, young or old to participate in the mitzvah of procreation in a Torah way is through marriage with a partner of the opposite sex.
Actually, that’s not really so. First of all, there’s no halachic problem with having a child out of wedlock. Second of al, there’s no law to be changed with regards to lesbians – it’s men who get a torah law aimed at them, but even the great Rambam was unable to come up with anything more exciting than, if you have a daughter or wife who engages in such lewd behavior as women rubbing together, you warn them not to do it, and keep them home, and if they disobey you you may flog them for their disobedience, but not beasue they are in violation of a Torah law.
There is, in fact, no change of anything needed for this to be true. Except attitudes.
1) current tapestry of mitzvot? as opposed to the tapestry from a year ago? are we now in the business of adding or eliminating mitzvahs to suit personal desires?
Do you really want to pretend that mitzvot don’t get added and subtracted over time? We don’t even have to go controversial here. We can just start listing mitzvot d’rabbanam (rabbinical mitzvot). Or is lighting Shabbat candles too deviant for you?
Or is lighting Shabbat candles too deviant for you?
Zing.
Again with the Shabbat candles? Really? Once again, presenting… Why we light Shabbos Candles.
Do you really want to pretend that mitzvot don’t get added and subtracted over time?
Apparently you’d like to pretend that they do. There are 613 mitzvahs. Within each mitzvah there might be volumes worth of halacha, but all that law and custom is consistent with the mitzvah itself. We don’t add to the 613 and we don’t subtract from the 613.
gays… lesbians…
The whole gay-lesbian issue is obscene. There’s nothing wrong with loving men, or loving women. It is a product of Christian puritanical society we go to extremes, either you’re a heterosexual male and need to prove that by never touching a man, or you’re a homosexual male and need to prove that by sleeping with another man and acting disgusted at the sight of a woman.
You can be a man who loves the company of men without sleeping with them, getting married to a woman and having children. You can be a woman who loves the company of women, but still get married to a man and bear children.
But no, we have to launch a jihad, to go to extremes and isolate people in their corner. If you’re gay, you’re gay. If you’re hetero, you’re hetero. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I reject that notion. We’re not all homosexual and we’re not all heterosexual – we’re on a spectrum somewhere in between.
The Torah doesn’t say that men can only love women. It tells us not to misuse our equipment in a way it wasn’t intended. Our bodies were created in a specific way and with a specific purpose.
Your dog may drink water out of the toilet, but that’s not the purpose for which the toilet was created. But why not? It’s filled with clean water the way a cup is filled with water, right? If you introduced someone from Africa to a bathroom who had never seen a toilet, they might think – wow! what a great invention for storing clean water that we can drink. Of course we know that’s not why the toilet exists. You have to explain to them how to use a toilet the way it was meant to be used.
The same thing with our bodies – they were created for a specific purpose. In the case of intercourse, they were created to join in a specific way that G-d deemed holy. You can misuse them, sure, but that’s why we have the Torah, to explain how to use them properly.
Some might prefer to keep drinking out of the toilet, but we should not delude ourselves what the purpose of a toilet is.
Firouz, that’s possibly the most respectful way of stating that position I’ve ever heard. I still disagree with you on many levels, but I appreciate the way you made that point. Thank you.
A friend privately corrected me about my focus:
I would go further and say that one can “misuse the equipment” as a heterosexual, too. It’s not a gay/straight issue. It’s a use and misuse issue.
I both agree with that and struggle with the consequences.
Firouz, that’s possibly the most respectful way of stating that position I’ve ever heard.
Not so respectful to people from Africa!
I didn’t find comparing people who have sex with people of the same sex to dogs drinking from toilets to be particularly respectful.
Firouz, you make it sound like you think each of God’s creations was created with just one purpose. So is the purpose of a tree to convert CO2 to Oxygen, or is it to provide wood, or is it to provide shade? Is Shabbat supposed to be a day or menucha (rest) or simcha (joy) or zikaron l’maaseh bireishit (memorial to creation) or zecher y’tzeiat mitzrayim (in memory of the exodus from Egypt)?
Do you light Shabbat candles for joy or Shalom Bayit, to turn one of your own strawmen back on you?
The whole gay-lesbian issue is obscene. There’s nothing wrong with loving men, or loving women. It is a product of Christian puritanical society we go to extremes, either you’re a heterosexual male and need to prove that by never touching a man, or you’re a homosexual male and need to prove that by sleeping with another man and acting disgusted at the sight of a woman.
You can be a man who loves the company of men without sleeping with them, getting married to a woman and having children. You can be a woman who loves the company of women, but still get married to a man and bear children.
So I wasn’t expecting you to necesarily understand what it’s like to be gay…..but now I’m wondering if you even know what it’s like to be straight.
Humans have a need for sex, love, intimacy, and companionship. Most people can only satisfy that need with a member of the opposite sex. Some people can only satisfy that need with a member of the same sex, others with members of either.
While some of these related needs – friendship, love, sex, etc – can be satisfied on their own outside of a person’s primary orientation, you really need to match people properly to make them happy in a life-time pair-bonded relationship.
Assuming you’re a straight male, Firouz, I ask: how successful an experience do you think you’d have, if you were told that you must only have sex with men, but you should feel okay because you can still hang out with women?
I think my love-life would be going a lot better than it has been lately, but your point is taken.