Identity, Politics, Religion

On Engaging Jewish Adults (Without Qualifying Adjectives)

The nice people at the Forward asked me to weigh in on the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism’s recent stated desire to reach the “young adult” demographic.
Here’s what I said:

Rabbi Steven Wernick, the new head of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, has made it clear that one of his priorities for the organization is outreach to Jews in their 20s and early 30s. As Conservative Jews gather for the USCJ’s biennial in Cherry Hill, N.J., December 6 — the first of Wernick’s tenure — and begin to chart a new course for the movement, it’s worth considering how best to go about pursuing this important goal.
Obviously, there are a lot of exciting possibilities when it comes to enfranchising and exciting 20- and 30-something Jews. But there are also some pitfalls that are common in efforts to reach this particular demographic.
Thinking in terms of “getting the young people” has too often led to programs that have the potential to fail on at least one of two counts.
On the one hand, people can spot an attempt to “be hip” from a mile away; programs that aren’t organic, that don’t genuinely tap into the zeitgeist and people’s interests will be read as pandering and condescending and are likely to fall flat.
But more than that, even when people show up, the nature of many outreach programs leads me to wonder whether we aren’t operating under a misguided definition of “success.” If people go to an event featuring a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model from Israel and leave tipsy but untransformed Jewishly, is that a success? Will attending a kosher karaoke night make people more moral, kinder, more in touch with themselves, with the Divine, with a stronger sense of meaning to their lives? Will it quench their thirst for the living Torah — the Torah that speaks to their lives, their struggles, their romances and ethical questions, to their financial woes and existential fears?
I would posit that getting butts in chairs — even the butts of a highly desirable demographic — is not the point. Our job, as rabbis, as Conservative Jews, as Jews in general, is to offer opportunities for our constituents to have meaningful connections to other people, to the Jewish tradition, to Torah, to the world as a whole, to themselves and to God. And as it happens, 20-somethings — like folks in other age groups — crave substance and depth.
In my work as a Jewish educator on a college campus, I’ve been astounded by the degree to which this is true. I’ve been tasked with helping students create Jewish opportunities and communities in the dorms, fraternities and off-campus apartments — all over campus, in other words. What most people want, I’ve learned, is the high-octane stuff: to come to a deeper understanding of Jewish spirituality; to talk about the nature of God and the purpose of religion; to find a Jewish connection to the big questions weighing on their hearts, and to create a community in which those questions can be explored together.
If this is true of college students, how much more is it true when working with those who have already transitioned to the working world? “Young adults” (which, it must be noted, also refers to the genre in which Judy Blume writes) are adults. And their questions, concerns and yearnings are adult yearnings.
In fact, the most successful programs that I can think of — in terms of lifespan, vitality and overall contribution to the Jewish community — are those that are not defined by age or generational identification. They’re opportunities for people with common interests to come together to work from a Jewish perspective on a cause or issue about which they feel passionate, to pray with a particular sensibility, to make or enjoy Jewish cultural offerings or to take part in study that touches the heart. These are programs that have depth, substance and vision, and have been created by the same types of people who ultimately participate in them.
USCJ, to its credit, has already done some strategic thinking about how to partner with folks who are making exciting things happen in a way that serves everyone’s interests. Its Kesharim program, which offers grants to independent minyans that partner with Conservative synagogues or the USCJ, has created some mutually satisfying relationships. (Rabbi Wernick has indicated that he hopes to broaden the Kesharim initiative.) Other minyans or local organizations that are not interested in this sort of partnership are nonetheless game for other kinds of joint programming and connections.
Certainly, though, there are some risks in the USCJ’s decision to create a Youth and Young Adult Services department to serve, out of one office, the teens of United Synagogue Youth, college students and people who are in their first 10 or so years out of college. As David Levy wrote on the blog Jewschool, “Please do not treat young adults in their 20s and 30s like children…. If the movement is losing members between the time individuals complete USY and the time they have their first child, the answer is not to extend the USY experience right up to the mid-life crisis.”
Jewish 20- and 30-somethings certainly don’t need to be programmed to the same way that teenagers do; taking them seriously as adults means that any initiatives that come out of USCJ must be done in very close collaboration with those it hopes to serve, and it means that the organization must know when its role is better served offering resources and letting its constituents lead.
The Conservative movement has the chance to step up to the plate and engage 20- and 30-somethings in ways that are substantive, meaningful and transformative — that address the big questions. Not, mind you, “the big questions facing young Jews” — but, rather, the big questions facing everybody. It has the chance to do so with depth, nuance and sophistication, to partner and collaborate with the adults in question in order live out the movement’s potential in the best possible way: embedded in the tradition and yet engaged in the world today. Will the organization offer up more than kosher karaoke? I hope so.

11 thoughts on “On Engaging Jewish Adults (Without Qualifying Adjectives)

  1. This is a fantastic editorial, thank you. I particularly thought that the following passage was spot on:
    “In fact, the most successful programs that I can think of — in terms of lifespan, vitality and overall contribution to the Jewish community — are those that are not defined by age or generational identification. They’re opportunities for people with common interests to come together to work from a Jewish perspective on a cause or issue about which they feel passionate, to pray with a particular sensibility, to make or enjoy Jewish cultural offerings or to take part in study that touches the heart. These are programs that have depth, substance and vision, and have been created by the same types of people who ultimately participate in them.”
    I agree that getting people to just show up is the wrong goal–it reeks of a fatalism and a lack of ambition, and the attitude that tends to be conveyed towards young Jews, i.e. the idea that we are superficial and ignorant re: Judaism and don’t really care. So the best they can do is just try to get us to show up; getting us to actually engage with and think deeply about Judaism? That’s Utopian!
    Our shul has been recently been going through the same “how can we attract young unaffiliated Jews” quandary (surprise, surprise, is there a shul in North America that is not constantly going on about this? I would argue that this obsessing with reaching out to youth in general is pretty alienating; it reeks of desperation and “us and them”ness). They’ve been awesome about actually listening to what us youngin’s have to say, and we’ve been pretty insistent that making things more “hip” and “fun” is not the issue here. And that it is really frustrating when people try to reach out to you by dumbing things down (Do you want shorter services? Hipper social events? Etc?) We’re not stupid, you’re just doing a shitty job at making Judaism engaging. It’s interesting, because the small group of us that have been chatting with the shul powers that be have been pretty insistent that what we want is programming that engages our interests as Jews: we want deeper discussions about theology, politics, social justice, rather than services that go through the motions but leave us cold, or social justice programming that is just about raising money for a charity and not thinking deeply as a community about the issues we’re talking about (nothing wrong with charity fundraising, it just doesn’t engage one intellectually or spiritually that deeply). The Jews I know who are unaffiliated or not active members of their shuls are not not going because it’s not “cool” enough, they’re not going because it doesn’t engage them as Jews, spiritually, ethically, politically, etc. It has actually been a really productive conversation, but I was surprised by how surprised the shul establishment has been about this.
    Anyway thanks for this post. I am happy to see that this conversation is happening at a wider level. It’s really encouraging.

  2. What’s sad – and which you just implied, but didn’t say outright – is that there is an almost-consensus in the mainstream community that Judaism is NOT for adults: it’s for babies to be born Jewish, kids to be bar mitzvahed and married within the fold, so they can make more babies to be born Jewish, etc. I wonder how many over-60s are lost to local communities because they have no children and understand they can stop coming to shul. (I know several).

  3. The real next question for these synagogues is how do they go about creating “high octane” programs- its not like they’re hoarding all these great programs for themselves while relegating the 20s and 30s folk to kosher karaoke.

  4. @MS–that is a difficult question. I am a VP at a largish synagogue, and I am afraid that Amit’s comments pretty much hit the mark. Recently, we tried changing our Shabbat morning service to be more inclusive of our membership and less focused on the family of the young person becoming bar/t mitzvah. This made some parents unhappy, and we had a meeting with them, the paid clergy, and the ritual committee chair. After learning that I did not have any children, two sets af parents actually asked me why I was there…their expressions were quite clear that they thought a Jew without children should have no buy-in about Shabbat morning services.
    This attitude that permeates synagogue culture needs to be overcome before the conventional synagogue can hope to engage Jews without kids at home. If anyone has ideas about how to achieve a critical mass of Jews who aren’t just there because of the kids, I’d love to hear it.

  5. Ruth – how about focusing on the religious and intellectual and spiritual movement that is Judaism instead of on “lifecycle”? A shul is a school, for everyone, not a place to get hatched, matched and dispached.

  6. By which I mean, it’s not about the “programming”, it’s about making shul a place where people come to feel that their being there is meaningful to them and to others. For regular services that are just about shabbat (or sunday or thursday or whatver). For classes that people are committed to because they’re fun.

  7. I agree with you entirely Amit–but when we tried a parallel minyan, people thought it was a shanda that we were splitting the community and how could we be so selfish as to not want to welcome the 13-year-old into the community?
    There are a couple of bright spots: Shabbat morning Torah study is vibrant and well-attended by a cross-section of adults from 25 to 85, who want to be there lishma. This is what R’Danya is talking about, I think–it’s successful because it seriously and actively engages in the text. Another is Friday morning challah baking. My work schedule has never allowed me to participate, but it draws a wide range of adults (men and women, and a now quite a few who find themselves without employment), making the bread and taking challah and providing this important ritual item for whoever in the congregation orders a loaf or two.
    Just a couple of concrete ideas in case there are lurkers out there….

  8. Sometimes the best answers come from outside of a Movement. LimmudLA, an all volunteer organization open to Jews of all denominations, ages and life experiences, fits the description of the answer you outline in the paragraph quoted below. Through our annual Conference, we provide Jews an opportunity to see and experience the best of what Judaism offers. People leave energized and looking for opportunities to engage and move further on their own Jewish journeys. It’s then up to the different Movements to give them a place to express and keep learning.
    From your article… the most successful programs that I can think of — in terms of lifespan, vitality and overall contribution to the Jewish community — are those that are not defined by age or generational identification. They’re opportunities for people with common interests to come together to work from a Jewish perspective on a cause or issue about which they feel passionate, to pray with a particular sensibility, to make or enjoy Jewish cultural offerings or to take part in study that touches the heart. These are programs that have depth, substance and vision, and have been created by the same types of people who ultimately participate in them.

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