You know that blog Passive-Aggressive Notes? Well, tonight when heating up my first chicken nuggets in God-if-such-a-thing-existed-would-know-how-long (having recently more-or-less finished up all the locally grown, nearly organic, free-range, hand-plucked-by-me kosher chicken in the freezer), I spotted these instructions for preparing the nuggets in the microwave:

(I was going to submit the image to PAN, but holy crap on a crapstick, their submission guidelines are more oppressive than an Egyptian slave-driver!)
Yes, I know these nuggets have the carbon footprint of an ocean liner. Spare me the lecture. They are also delicious. Particularly when dipped in Hoisen sauce. Well, pretty much anything is delicious when dipped in Hoisen sauce. In fact, when I was in high school my friend Chris and I dreamed of one day opening Chris & Dave’s House of Hoisen to proselytize the world to this philosophy. But I digress.
And my bottle of Hoisen comes from Passaic, NJ, which in Jewish geography terms is practically walking distance. Which is to say, suck it, Hazon. Actually, don’t. More for me.