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Welcome to the Hotel Kabbalah

Rebbetzin Esther, the artist formerly known as Madonna opens a multi-million dollar Hotel Kaballah in London.

In the street yesterday, residents spoke of their fears about their new neighbours. Zeze el-Dib, 56, said people were wary of Kabbalah and its leaders’ motives, adding: “We do not want any sect here. I do not want to interfere with anybody’s religious wishes but with Kabbalah we have to be suspicious.”
Another neighbour, who did not wish to be named, said: “Having a Kabbalah centre would be totally inappropriate. It is a seriously manipulative sect which is very good at getting people’s money, including Madonna’s.

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5 thoughts on “Welcome to the Hotel Kabbalah

  1. I don’t know what the big deal is – Judaism is full of manipulative cults, making lost of money – but we lovem!

  2. actually, we see nothing wrong with Madonnakabbalah being branded as a holy Ponzi scheme. Why the hell do you think they’re so concerned about Madonna getting enlightened? As long as they’re not talking about Judaism being a trick to make money, there certainly isn’t any defense for that kabbalah body creme stuff.

  3. don’t know what these (clearly Muslim!) concerned neighbours are gettin so iffy about. i mean, (a) Dolce & Kabbalah is so last decade and (b) notice any objections to Agnus Dei headquarters around the world (except, y’know, that Dan Brown guy)? Yup, the world’s full of ponzy body-creams.. i say we take little notice of the ‘concerned citizens of Allah’s London’ or of our esteemed Rebbetzin Esther..

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