For years now, I have searched for the melody of my masculinity in the words and poetry of women’s and non-binary folx’s songs. With this search came an implicit understanding that there was a limit the ability of men, particularly cis-men, to compose gentleness; at best, I believed, we could play out weak imitations of our siblings’ and parents’ music. The men of the hevra kadisha have taught me otherwise. Their care has shown me the possibility that men can contribute new harmonies and timbre to the ongoing composition of our people’s melody of tenderness and care for the living and for the dead.
By reframing the Chevrah Kaddish as an opportunity rather than an obligation, we have formed a holy community that includes all members of the community who each participate at their own comfort level, from the very young to the very old. Some of our members became involved when they came to make their own final arrangements and became active participants. This is still a university town and students are also an important part of the team. I am proud to be a part of this holy community.
Serving in the Chevra Kaddisha, Jewish Funeral Practices Committee, is an important honor and part of being a Jew. Various roles are available, for various people with various needs and availability. Join now!