I’m A Survivor

The AP reports,

Our free-and-easy standards for what qualifies as truth were mocked on a recent episode of the HBO comedy “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

A rabbi invited to Larry David’s house for dinner asks if he might bring along a friend, someone he identifies as “a survivor,” who would love to meet Larry. After agreeing, Larry decides to try to make the guest feel comfortable by inviting a fellow Nazi camp survivor, his father’s chum Solly.

But the rabbi’s “survivor” turns out to be young, handsome Colby Donaldson from “Survivor: Outback,” who during dinner recounts the hardships he endured for his 42 days on the show: no snacks; no bathrooms; no footwear by the end but flip-flops.

“Did you see OUR show?” Solly sputters. “It’s called ‘The Holocaust’!”

Soon they’re yelling at each other across the table:

“I’m a survivor!”

“No! I’m a survivor!”

The episode’s sardonic message: One survivor is as valid as another (although in some quarters Colby might get extra points for being a celebrity survivor).

The episode will air again on May 31st. (c/o Shappy)

9 thoughts on “I’m A Survivor

  1. Ha! asking my grandfather(who is a survivor) if he had seen the tv show survivor, he replied “is it about the holocaust”?

  2. Why wait till May 31st? Here’s the complete interaction between Solly, Larry’s father’s survivor friend, and Colby Donaldson. The show also features Larry David renewing his vows, a saucy adulterous Orthodox dry cleaner babe and the hole in the sheet myth. Anyway, here’s the survivor conversation:
    Solly: Listen, where’s the other survivor?
    Larry David: He’s that uh, tall guy over there. He’s from that Television show, “Survivor”
    Solly looks confused. Cut to dinner table
    Colby Donaldson: So here we are, in a region of Australia, where out of the world’s 10 most deadly snakes, 9 of them inhabit this region. It was harrowing. You come across a taipan on the trail, you get bit, you’re dead, in 30 minutes flat.
    Solly: I’ll tell you that’s a very interesting story, let me tell you. I was in a concentration camp you never even suffered one minute in your life what compared to what I went through.
    Colby Donaldson: Look, I’m saying, I’m saying we spent 42 days trying to survive. We had very little rations, no snacks…
    Solly: Snacks? What are you talking snacks? We didn’t eat sometimes for a week, for a month, we weighed nothing.
    Colby Donaldson: I mean I couldn’t even work out when I was there, they certainly didn’t have a gym…
    Solly: A what?
    Colby Donaldson: I mean I wore my sneakers out and next thing you know I’ve got a pair of flip flops…
    Solly: Flip flops!?
    Colby Donaldson: We slept on the ground, on the dirt ok? 118 degrees during the day, 98 at night with 98 percent humidity…
    Solly: 45 degrees below zero!
    Colby Donaldson: You guys have a bathroom?
    Solly: A bathroom!?
    Colby Donaldson: We didn’t have one…
    Solly: We had 12 people at a time would go and shit…
    Colby Donaldson: Well I’m sure you had toilet paper…
    Solly: We had newspaper…
    Colby Donaldson: We had mosquitoes…
    Solly: You see this glass eye? Ha? Ha?
    Colby Donaldson: Did you even see the show?
    Solly: Did you see our show? It was called the holocaust!
    Colby Donaldson: All I know is that I was damn close to that million dollars… The whole time everyone’s back stabbing me and undermining me trying to get me kicked off the show…
    Larry David: Don’t aggravate yourself here…
    Solly: You don’t know nothing about survivor. I’m a survivor…
    Colby Donaldson: I’m a survivor…
    Solly: I’m a survivor!
    Colby Donaldson: I’m a survivor!
    Solly: I’m a survivor!!!
    Then Larry David spills some wine on his suit….

  3. Sooner or later, I’m sure, I’ll be found out. The word will be out that I went around via Google to the various anti-Bush weblogs, and much like a busy little bee, deposited a comment in those weblogs that allow for such.
    At one particular weblog I visited, the blogeuse was at the time in despair. Seemingly, indisputable files documenting Dumb’ya’s misgovernance grow thicker and even more nauseating daily. Nonetheless, his lead in the polls increases. And so, dear friend Mobius, I asked myself a couple questions. What could be going on? What could be the explanation?
    Well, here’s some of the comment I left. “Nobody cares to admit that their country willfully elevated a nincompoop to head of state. And then, not too long after that, the nincompoop went on to suborn contravening the Geneva Convention.
    That’s enough to blow anybody’s mind. It’s sort’a like admitting tha’cher favorite aunt gets her jollies from ‘communing’ with alligators. Aaay, c’mon, that’s the best way I know how to phrase it … gimme a break. For all we know, the current chairman of the Federal Communications Commission checks up on your website DAILY.”
    And here’s the permissible portion of the comment I left.
    “Recently, Ted Koppel used his allotment of television time to swirl some sobriety into this country’s awareness of Iraq. As the photos of American service personnel, who had been killed in Iraq, were being displayed, Mr Koppel recited their names. As best I can, in my own small way, I’m trying to emulate the man. And so, I’d like you to consider reading the text for a “state of the union” address that I believe is imperative for this country of ours. To get to it, all you need do is click on the below enclosed U.R.L
    By the way, the proprietors of the http://www.BCVoice.com website have provided a couple ways for you to leave your comments.”

  4. What you’re looking for is curb.your.enthusiasm.s04e09-bj.torrent
    Go to the forums at suprnova.org and ask for it. Politely.

  5. Is there some place one can download curb episodes? i tried stan the caddy, but it doesn’t work…any advice would be much (MUCH! the show’s great and we don’t get it here) appreciated…

  6. Shmuel: Bit Torrent via Suprnova.org – get the Bit Torrent client (there are several) by Googling it and go nuts! You better have High Speed Internet access too – each episode can come in at over 500 MBs.

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