Jumpin’ Jesus On A Pogo Stick

Jpost reports,

The earthquake that struck the Indian Ocean on December 26, triggering a series of huge waves called tsunami, “was possibly” caused by an Indian nuclear experiment in which “Israeli and American nuclear experts participated,” an Egyptian weekly magazine reported Thursday.

Congratulations Egyptian press, you just got my nomination for Shmendrik of the Year. You gotta give ’em marks for creativity. Frickin’ maniacs. (c/o Jewlicious)

26 thoughts on “Jumpin’ Jesus On A Pogo Stick

  1. There is some truth to that, but I’m not sure that everyone can handle it.
    The Arabs are definitely right: ALL bad stuff in the world is because of the Jews. Not in the secular/leftist sense, but rather the spiritual/religious sense. Our main task in this imperfect world is ‘l’taken olam b’malchut shadai’ – to perfect the universe. As long as we drag out ‘returning to Hashem’, more bad stuff will continue to happen.
    While I don’t think we little humans can understand how ‘we’ caused the tsunami, 9/11, the ‘Oslo war, and the holocaust either, one day, it will be so clear how each of us could have stopped this by doing a few specific little things. The same way in hindsight we know what caused the temples to be destroyed as well as the death of tens of thousands of Rabbi Akiva’s students, one day we’ll know what we did wrong to bring these ‘natural’ disasters onto mankind.
    My theory about anti-semitism is that deep down, the gentile is sub-consciously pissed off at us for not living up to our duties on earth.

  2. I don’t know about Israel (though they do have nukes) but it not that crazy to think that the US could be testing bombs down there. Actually, I’m not sure it’s crazy at all. That doesn’t mean it’s true, but you don’t need to be a conspiracy theorist (or an anti-Semite) to think it’s at least possible.
    But more to the point:
    Even if someone was testing nukes, could that cause the quake??

  3. Of course it’s not crazy. Nobody would have noticed nuclear testing that close to Sumatra. And naturally, the United States, with so many places to choose from, would of course do its nuclear testing close to a populated area and right on top of a known fault line. The better to drown the brown-skins. Bwa-ha-ha. (And then we donate money to rescue ’em…see?)
    Has anyone proved that Noam Chomsky is not a child molester? It may not be true, but you don’t need to be a conspiracy theorist…

  4. J,
    And to think that PurrpleGrrl is “moderate” compared to the shit you read on Indymedia. Alas, in the age of the WWW, everything and anything is possible. Personally, I think Michael Moore ate one too many hotdogs, belched, and viola…

  5. josh.
    Just had a long talk about this with m’lady. Y’know, I’d love to believe that additional mitzvot can prevent natural disasters. Seriously, I wish I had that kind of faith. But…
    A couple o’ years ago a suicide bomber blew himself up in Mea Shearim without killing anyone. Haredim yelled “miracle” and that the pious community was spared…I’m assuming because they’re pious.
    A few weeks later another suicide bomber in the same area, right after shul was letting out, and many fatalities. So you see, one has to be careful when being too literal about what God does, can’t do, etc.

  6. “BTW J, This: “The better to drown the brown-skins.”
    Will get you into trouble with this:”
    On the contrary, it would prove that the major theme of history is the white skins doing in the red skins and now the brown skins.
    Didn’t care for the Indian article. The author seems to have forgotten (more likely, was never taught) that most of the native population died of disease, which was usually not inflicted knowingly on them by the Europeans. It would also be useful to compare the brutality of the Europeans toward the Indians (which was certainly horrifying) with the brutality among Indian tribes (also horrifying).
    I don’t care for Josh’s theology either. It manages to give Jews too much credit and too much blame at the same time. I’m a proud Jew, bordering on chauvinism (some say I’ve crossed the border), but that theory makes all non-Jews into extras, or less, in the ongoing blockbuster movie that is the world.
    Why did the tsunami happen? Beyond the obvious natural explanations, the best answer is I DON’T KNOW. Not the most satisfying answer, but it avoids the contortions and distortions that result from “knowing” what you really don’t.

  7. What the F* just happened? Either you’re all being facetious or the comments just took a dive from which they will never recover.
    Josh, you come off as kind of a lunatic. I don’t know any religious Jews — you indicative of their general thinking? Also, “Catholic guilt” anyone?

  8. Good point about the proximity to fault lines.
    I was just saying–the US certainly tests weapons, and hell, they used to test them in Nevada and invite people to watch!! That’s a lot more evidence than anything you have on Chomsky as a child molester.
    I really wasn’t trying to be provocative…just thinking out loud.

  9. “Josh, you come off as kind of a lunatic”
    Now “no name”, if you’re a self-described athiest, I can understand why you’d call Josh an “lunatic”. Kinda the way I feel abou pure athiests (I think to myself: Do they believe this is all random…an accident?)But if you believe the Torah is somewhat divine, or perhaps you go all-the-way and believe it’s fully divine, then what is to say that the world isn’t full of cause and effect due to our actions. I mean, the Torah is full of miracles and such, why would this be any different?
    Again, not saying I agree with Josh, but calling him a lunatic?

  10. “I was just saying–the US certainly tests weapons, and hell, they used to test them in Nevada”
    Chomsky is a man, and hell, many pedophiles are male.

  11. “Even if someone was testing nukes, could that cause the quake??”
    Detonating the US’s entire nuclear arsenal probably couldn’t have caused the quake (and by “probably”, I mean “I’m pretty sure not but I haven’t crunched the numbers to prove it”). We’re talking about shifting tectonic plates here. You’d need an explosion orders of magnitude greater than any ever produced by man, at a depth of miles below the surface.

  12. josh (way up top): “ALL bad stuff in the world is because of the Jews. Not in the secular/leftist sense….”
    OK, I’ll bite. What’s the secular/leftist sense of all bad stuff in the world is because of the jews?

  13. I always think about whether bad things are caused by sin and Jewish failure in a theological sense. The problem is that there’s just no way to know. It’s like asking whether you had a certain piece of bad luck because you failed to keep Shabbas one time. It doesn’t make any sense; there’s no way to distinguish. The story of the suicide bombers in Mea Shearim was a good illustration.

  14. Josh
    “My theory about anti-semitism is that deep down, the gentile is sub-consciously pissed off at us for not living up to our duties on earth.”
    The gentiles have spirtual responsiblites too. Seven laws of Noah. The Jews have more responsiblites, and hopefully more rewards. However, last time I checked, there are a trillion more non-jews out there, they need to get cracking too.

  15. I usually just read this site, but I have to step in and comment ion something here.
    “I was just saying–the US certainly tests weapons, and hell, they used to test them in Nevada and invite people to watch!!”
    The United States has not detonated a nuclear weapon since 1992. Furthermore, for all you conspiracy theorists, the Former Soviet government, Great Brittain, Canada, Israel, Most European nations, China and countless organizations in America have enough technology floating around in space and embedded in the ground to detect the distinct indicators of a nuclear detonation. There simply is no way to ‘hide’ a nuclear detonation. How do you think we knew Pakistan tand India were testing weapons in 1998? Because we detected it, and so did all of europe and the former Soviets.
    I love a good conspiracy theory as much as next, but nuclear explosions can not be done in secret anymore. The US operated under a testing moritorium from 1992 until 2002, when Bush lifted the ban on Nuclear testing, but we haven’t detonated any nukes yet. The US HAS, however, detonated conventional explosives with plutonium to simulate ‘dirty bombs’ Two such tests were conducted out at the old Necada test site in February and September of 2002. That’s scary enough, thanks.

  16. I mean, common people. I could be wrong, but I think most of the comments on the thread were intended to be facicious. You guys are WAY to serious… lighen up!

  17. First shtreimel,
    About your first post; it’s a great example. We just don’t know why ‘bad things happen to good people’. Sometimes, really bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people, but this is a very superficial human way of looking at things and I’ve already accepted that I’m no supreme court judge who dozens of assistants working for him to judge if people are good or not (though in Israel, the justice system can accuse you of bad thoughts).
    I definitely know that no one is really religious. At most, the greatest tzadikim can do not even half the mitzvot in the Torah, and the Lubavitcher Rebbe said once that the messiah will come the day one single tzadik on the planet does tshuva, which is when I realized that just because you’re religious doesn’t mean you can rest on your kipa, tefillin, and some tzedakah to get you through life.
    I should have specified Jewish secular/leftist. The kind that might post on certain blogs, vote for Meretz, Shinui, and love Uri Avnery. I also speak because I work with these kinds of people every day and discuss this every other day and now realize a bit of what makes these Jewish secular/leftists tick (though I’ll get chastised for generalizing. Eh, what the hell.) My secular/leftist friends can’t stand Haredim because there are Haredim that are bad. A few bad Haredim(ultra-orthodox), means all ‘penguins’ are bad, and if these super-jews are bad than that doesn’t look good for ‘me’ as a Jew, and since ‘I’ feel without control, ‘I’ll’ direct this frustration towards Haredim instead of just getting on with ‘my’ own life. Now, replace ‘Haredim’ with a selection of Jewish labels like; settler, ‘dosim’, Shasnikim, right-wing eretz yisrael lovers, yeshiva bochers, and even fellow liberals (for not being liberal enough), etc… and the leftist/secular gets to blame all the ‘Jews’ problems on these Jews. Because of ‘them’ (Haredim, settlers, etc…) the budget is like ‘this’, or some young soldier has to do ‘that’, or ‘we’ look bad to the world, or ‘I’ can’t travel somewhere in peace.

  18. “I definitely know that no one is really religious. At most, the greatest tzadikim can do not even half the mitzvot in the Torah…..” – Josh-
    Q. Who said being “religious” means keeping EVERY SINGLE mitzvah? I belive G-d just wants the most effort, and try to reach your potential (which is different for everyone).

  19. josh: “(though I’ll get chastised for generalizing. Eh, what the hell.)”
    How is this supposed to make any sense? I can’t see much difference between the impulse of idealogues and demagogues across the political spectrum — from Chomsky/Avnery to Buchanan/Novak — to blame the problems of the world on a “powerful Jewish lobby” from your impulse to blame them on secular liberals?
    By the way, are you familiar with the recent writings of Rabbi Arthur Hertzberg, advocating a higher degree of secularity in Israeli civil society?

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