Culture, Israel

Makht a Lchaim!

A while back I wrote about Kabbalah Vodka.  Made with ‘real Christian babies,’ each bottle featured a glass sculpture in the bottle.  Odd, but at least creative.
Now comes L’Chaim Vodka.  I’ve worked in the liquor industry, and this one leaves me scratching my head.  Forget for a minute that unadulterated spirits don’t even need a hechsher…

“Nestled between Jerusalem, Nazareth, Tel Aviv, and Haifa, you will find Or Akiva. It is within these scenic hilled terraces and river channels that we draw our natural spring water and ingredients to produce the highest quality vodka product in all of Israel. We invite you to enjoy the taste and celebrate.”

There are quality Vodka products made in Israel?  Huh. Is this for realz? Is it Jewsploitation? I can’t tell.  Its website makes no attempt to extoll the virtues of the product, preferring instead to extoll the virtues of its creator.  A true exploitative product would boast of multiple distillations using the grains of matzah meal, water sourced from the same pure rain as Mikvahs and being filtered 5 times through the beards of Gedolim…

“It’s pure ingredients and distillation process and recipe is based on a formula handed down through several generations of European and Russian Jews, resulting in a slightly spicy flavor profile with vanilla aromas., L’chaim sources its own spring water shunning any filtering and de-mineralization treatments.”

From what I know, vodka is not supposed to have a flavor profile… or an aroma… And the product is being made not by Russian Jews but a man named Mizraji… I’m not sure what to make of this- it might be truly great.  At least it looks sorta sexy.  The nightlife, that frosted bottle.  Mmmm… But I’m not losing objectivity here.
I can say this for sure: we at Jewschool will not know for certain until we’ve tried it.  At least twice. We will not rest until we get to the bottom… of a bottle… We call on the makers of LChaim Vodka to offer proof (100 proof to be exact) of their product’s quality and eagerly await a case for uh, critical purposes…

10 thoughts on “Makht a Lchaim!

  1. I read your piece on ‘L’CHAIM vodka’ and you didn’t even get the name right. I don’t want to joust with you but L’CHAIM kosher vodka began distributing itself only 3 months ago and is already sold in over one thousand accounts in NYC, NJ and FL. Heading to another 5 states in 2011… Must be doing something right.
    That the product is certified Kosher is only one of several descriptors. And that the product is made in Israel among other differentiators are what has made it a success. It’s no small or insignificant issue as the product is not marketed only to Jews (including very bored Jews that know an unadulterated spirit doesn’t need a hechsher).
    Two of three products bought a with a kosher label are not purchased because the consumer keeps kashrus but because there is a real value in that the certification offers a higher level of quality and a standard above a product that is not certified kosher.
    That vodka doesn’t require a hechsher and yet L’CHAIM kosher vodka takes advantage of procuring one and more over displaying it prominently on its package demonstrates the acumen of the marketing campaign. If you were in the liquor business then you know how to read and research the demographic, geographic and psygographic of the drinking consumer and would see that LKV is spot on.
    You also implied for some reason that Israel doesn’t make quality vodka products…. why wouldn’t quality vodka products be made in Israel or anywhere else for that matter. What kind of silly question is that? Doesn’t Israel make some of the best computer chips, cell phones, medicine, an ingestible video camera and even a nuclear weapon? If they are capable of making these I think they can make a cocktail.
    If however you went to this great length because you want your own bottle of L’CHAIM kosher vodka delivered, then you are the clever one and have succeeded. We will supply a bottle or three of delicious tasting LKV for you and your friends to enjoy. everyone fill up your cups and say L’CHAIM! (except for BZ who passed)
    Next time just straight up ask 🙂

  2. LKV-
    If you’re calling it L’Chaim Kosher Vodka, you should no doubt get a hechsher, but most discerning kosher vodka consumers will buy the best vodka they find provided it isn’t flavored.
    There’s a healthy amount of snark in there about the puffery, but the implication about Israel making quality vodka seems more ‘who knew?”

  3. “who knew?” indeed. Its just not something for which Israel is well known. Microchips, crazy driving, great beaches- sure. Can they make a nuke and a cocktail? Or even a nuclear cocktail? Of course! I just wouldn’t have thought about Vodka. But why not, and the romance copy is very nice. Glad to know the ploy worked!

  4. re: nestled between… cute descriptor, but assuming that my Google Maps is pulling up the location of Or Akiva correctly, it’s on the coast between Tel Aviv and Haifa. Where does Jerusalem come into the geographical picture?
    Or is there another Or Akiva that puts the manufacture of this vodka closer to Nazareth and Jerusalem? If you understand what I mean.

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