The Onion reports,

Following a weekend bus bombing in Tel Aviv that left six dead and dozens more critically injured, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert on Monday issued an ultimatum to Palestinian extremists: “Either put an end to your deadly, mindless attacks, or we will have no choice but to dissolve the state of Israel as we know it.”
Olmert makes one last, desperate plea to Palestinian extremists.
In a televised address Olmert, who characterized the latest bombing as “one short of permanently ending our century-long Zionist experiment,” warned Islamic radicals that Israel would not stand any further “methodical and deeply intimidating” acts of terror, “whether outside a popular nightclub in Haifa or in a crowded marketplace in Be’er Sheva, as just one more of these atrocities will surely crush the once-resolute spirit of the Israeli people.”
[…] “Mark my words, we are prepared to give in,” he added. “All of Israel is poised to jump into the sea.”

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