This is not a post about Debbie Friedman
I know everyone wishes that we’d just stop talking about this already and technically, what I’m about to mention isn’t strictly a Jewish matter, but there was an interesting link on BoingBoing this morning regarding reporting on the sexuality of, let us say, well-known figures (since the person mentioned there isn’t precisely what one might think of as a celebrity).
The point being made is that it’s not quite as simple as whether or not one’s sexuality is a private matter – rather that by agreeing to not discuss it, “the press” is actually enforcing the idea that gay sexuality is bad, that the very hint of a partner of the same sex is akin to pornography and is a discussion of sex, rather than simply talking about normal and natural parts of an individual’s life – and in fact, in my opinion, that’s exactly how the conversation about Debbie Friedman shook out: dlevy expressed sadness that she hadn’t been able to live her life in a way that everyone else (straight) does, where she talked about her family (partner) held hands in public, etc, and everyone else started screaming about how she has the right to keep her sex life private and who cares as long as she doesn’t scare the horses in the street,which was precisely missing the point. The original post is here, but IMO BoingBoing sums it up clearly and nicely.
Food for thought.
I think it’s also interesting to read these in light of Gawker’s examination of the way Marty Peretz’s sexual orientation has been treated in the press: http://gawker.com/5742857/why-wont-anyone-tell-you-that-marty-peretz-is-gay?skyline=true&s=i
The final three paragraphs of the article make an important point that would be equally important regardless if the article was about Peretz, Debbie Friedman, or Elana Kagan.
she hadn’t been able to live her life in a way that everyone else (straight) does
Or, as the evidence seems to point to, she did live her life that way among family and friends but not in public. There are plenty of straight celebrities who don’t want to publicize their private relationships, and I don’t think of it as a tragedy when they make that choice either.
Gay or not, she’s gonna have a school named for her…
OMG That’s sooooo… something…