Contain yourselves. Lebowski Fest is on its way to the Big Apple. But in a twist of irony that stings like lemon juice on a paper cut, the party falls out on Shabbos.

I know, I know. I don’t roll on f*cking Shabbos. Shomer Shabbos. Shomer f*cking Shabbos.

For all you hell-bound apikorsim, though, the info:

Friday August 13th, 2004
Lebowski Fest New York Pre-Party @ The Knitting Factory – 74 Leonard St – Manhattan – Music by New York’s own Bling Kong [editor’s note: Bling Kong is the brain child of our very own Mobius], The Trouble With Sweeney, AM Sunday, SKL as “Autobahn”, and Medina Sod. Plus an appearance by The Squallis Pupeteers and Jeff “The Dude” Dowd. Doors @ 8PM. Music @ 9. Movie @ Midnight. 21+ – $15 More details on the bands.

Saturday August 14th, 2004
Lebowski Fest New York @ The Cozy Bowl – 98-18 Rockaway Blvd – Queens – 8pm to 1am. All Ages- $25
– Two floors – 64 Lanes
– Celebrity appearance by Jeff “The Dude” Dowd
– Bowling* and Shoe rental included
– Costume, Trivia, Bowling, and Farthest Traveled Contests
– White Russians, Oat Sodas, and other beverages, man
– What-Have-You

“Three thousand years of beautiful tradition from Moses to Sandy Koufax, you’re goddamn right I’m living in the past!” (It had to be said.)