Jewish Pirate Jokes
It has been pointed out that in two years, Talk Like A Pirate Day will fall on Rosh Hashanah. In the meantime, though we don’t get to blow the shofARRRRRRR or read about HagARRRRRRR today, we can still tell other Jewish pirate jokes on this festive occasion.
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite masechet of Talmud?
A: ARRRRRRRachin.
Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite biblical prophet?
A: ZechARRRRRiah.
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite Yiddishist socialist organization?
A: The ARRRRbeter Ring.
Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite Republican Jewish senator?
A: ARRRRRRRRlen Specter.
Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite Democratic Jewish senator?
A: BARRRRRbara Boxer.
Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite amora?
A: DARRRRRu bARRRRR Papa.
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite Israeli newspaper?
A: Yedi’ot. (You probably thought it was Ha’ARRRRRetz, but that’s far too intellectual for the average pirate.)
Add your own!
Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite biblical prophet?
Actually, maybe this should be Jonah, since he has to walk the plank. ARRRR.
A pirate’s favorite Israeli news obviously comes from AAAARutz Sheva, you scallywag! They even had a pirate ship until the Supreme Court sank it.
You kids have FAR too much time on your hands!
See here for my post on Jewish pirates from last year. My favorite holiday!
Oh, yeah, and here’s this year’s no Jewish pirates this year, but there is a tutorial on pirate speak and women pirates.
This cracked me up. Thanks.
YashARRRRRR koach, hazaq u-bARRRRRukh, and gmARRRRRR hatima tova, ye scallywag.
What is a pirate’s favorite Israeli newspaper?
Probably Ma’ARRRRRiv, fella.
But no pirates=anti-intellectuals prejudice, please!
And the pirate’s favorite American Jewish paper? The ForwARRRRRRRd.
Good call, e-bola. Arutz Sheva is in fact pirate radio.
Cuus RRRRRRAbak. proper pirates should speak ARRRRRRabic.
Q. What’s a Pirates’s favorite line of tfilah?
A. Yo-ho-hodu l’shem ki tov, ki laolam chasdo…and a bottle of rum
Weak, although I do like the first and last of the comments.
Sorry, no Jewish content here, but the best pirate jokes ever are McSweeney’s Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates.
My contribution
This is retARRRRRRRRRded.
This is really terrible! What the heck is happening to all of us?!
Not sure where I read this, my favourite, Jewish pirate joke:
Q-What happens to a Jewish pirate boy when he turns 13?
A-He celebrates becoming a bARRRRRRRR Mitzvah!
It was the last joke on the post that really cracked me up. Everything up to that is just buildup, as far as I’m concerned.
I figured that, since it’s the holiday season, I’d do a pirate’s Jewish holiday quiz (with apologies to Jimmy Buffett):
1) What’s a pirate’s favorite pre-Yom Kippur ritual?
– KapAARRRRos.
2) What’s a pirate’s favorite Pesach ritual?
– ARRRRba Kosos, of course. (Yo ho ho & a bottle of Manischewitz?)
3) What’s a pirate’s favorite Succos item?
– ARRRavos – although he likes all the ARRRba Minim.
4) What’s a pirate’s favorite fast day?
– Shiva AssARRRR B’Tammuz. (Maybe Tzom GedARRRRlia?)
5) Who’s a pirate’s favorite person in the Megillah?
– ARRRRchashverosh.
6) Who’s a pirate’s favorite modern-day descendant of Haman?
– ARRRRRchmedinedjad. (You mean you didn’t know?) (:
Don’t blame me, me hearties. You started this. Yo ho ho.
these jokes are funnier thaN A BUNCH OF JEWISish kids trying to make a bunch of pirate jokes. i swear these jokes are funnier than larry the cable guy,
wow, how can anyone actually like these jokes? they are all the same thing- an AR pun. Here is a good one- What’s a pirate’s wife’s name: Peggy. See that joke is better than all the jokes here and i’m not jewish. If you want to see more funnie Christian themed jokes go to http://www.nudely.net or http://www.mclobber.com.
Ha ha u should be on comedy central presents
good un
i cant understand. these jokes relly suck
i agree. let adam sandler tell the jewish jokes