Culture, Religion

Jewish Pirate Jokes

It has been pointed out that in two years, Talk Like A Pirate Day will fall on Rosh Hashanah. In the meantime, though we don’t get to blow the shofARRRRRRR or read about HagARRRRRRR today, we can still tell other Jewish pirate jokes on this festive occasion.
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite masechet of Talmud?
Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite biblical prophet?
A: ZechARRRRRiah.
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite Yiddishist socialist organization?
A: The ARRRRbeter Ring.
Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite Republican Jewish senator?
A: ARRRRRRRRlen Specter.
Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite Democratic Jewish senator?
A: BARRRRRbara Boxer.
Q: Who is a pirate’s favorite amora?
Q: What is a pirate’s favorite Israeli newspaper?
A: Yedi’ot. (You probably thought it was Ha’ARRRRRetz, but that’s far too intellectual for the average pirate.)
Add your own!

25 thoughts on “Jewish Pirate Jokes

  1. What is a pirate’s favorite Israeli newspaper?
    Probably Ma’ARRRRRiv, fella.
    But no pirates=anti-intellectuals prejudice, please!

  2. And the pirate’s favorite American Jewish paper? The ForwARRRRRRRd.
    Good call, e-bola. Arutz Sheva is in fact pirate radio.

  3. Not sure where I read this, my favourite, Jewish pirate joke:
    Q-What happens to a Jewish pirate boy when he turns 13?
    A-He celebrates becoming a bARRRRRRRR Mitzvah!

  4. I figured that, since it’s the holiday season, I’d do a pirate’s Jewish holiday quiz (with apologies to Jimmy Buffett):
    1) What’s a pirate’s favorite pre-Yom Kippur ritual?
    – KapAARRRRos.
    2) What’s a pirate’s favorite Pesach ritual?
    – ARRRRba Kosos, of course. (Yo ho ho & a bottle of Manischewitz?)
    3) What’s a pirate’s favorite Succos item?
    – ARRRavos – although he likes all the ARRRba Minim.
    4) What’s a pirate’s favorite fast day?
    – Shiva AssARRRR B’Tammuz. (Maybe Tzom GedARRRRlia?)
    5) Who’s a pirate’s favorite person in the Megillah?
    – ARRRRchashverosh.
    6) Who’s a pirate’s favorite modern-day descendant of Haman?
    – ARRRRRchmedinedjad. (You mean you didn’t know?) (:
    Don’t blame me, me hearties. You started this. Yo ho ho.

  5. these jokes are funnier thaN A BUNCH OF JEWISish kids trying to make a bunch of pirate jokes. i swear these jokes are funnier than larry the cable guy,

  6. wow, how can anyone actually like these jokes? they are all the same thing- an AR pun. Here is a good one- What’s a pirate’s wife’s name: Peggy. See that joke is better than all the jokes here and i’m not jewish. If you want to see more funnie Christian themed jokes go to or

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