Kabbalistic Red String: Not To Be Confused With Tampons

According to Defamer, a new billboard is to be erected on Los Angeles’ Sunset Blvd. to promote The Kabbalah Centre’s latest foray into idiocy, The Red String Book. The newest work by junior cult leader Yehuda Berg, the book expounds upon the value of red string in warding off ayin hora — the evil eye.

In response to the billboard’s design, one reader writes, “That logo for The Red String looks like an ad for some sort of newfangled tampon.” To which Defamer so astutely replies, “While the red string bracelet is designed to repel the evil eyes cast by those that reject the light of the faithful, it is not approved for any feminine hygiene uses.”

In related news, Lindsay Lohan has allgedly caught the evil eye from Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher for heeding the advice of her skeptical boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama, and refusing the gift of a red string bracelet. G-d forbid the girl should have more sense than you two…

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