Nevada Prophet Summons UFOs

A self-identifying Jewish African-American from Las Vegas, Prophet Yahweh is your typical observant North American Jew. He’s committed religiously, makes a good living in the entertainment industry, and is past 30 and predictably single. But Prophet Yahweh posseses one ability which sets him apart from the sheer majority of his coreligionists: He has allegedly learned to summon UFOs from reading the Torah.
In a recent appearance on Las Vegas’ ABC-13, Prophet Yahweh demonstrates his unique and profound ability, summoning two unidentified objects to appear in the sky before the rolling television cameras. He has also predicted that a UFO will soon appear above Las Vegas, clearly visible for all to see.
This would be a startling revelation, were in not for these photos of Prophet Yahweh parading about with mylar weather balloons. More on the bunk “prophet” with the chutzpahdik name here.
I was nervous for a minute there. But thankful I’d sent my $30 to “Bob”. Reminds me of Malachi Z. York and the Nuwaubians too much anyway.

8 thoughts on “Nevada Prophet Summons UFOs

  1. Well, he’s not exactly lying. After all, by releasing weather balloons and not telling his dupes what they are, they do indeed see *unidentified* flying objects. They may be perfectly identifiable to anyone else, but, give the guy $ome credit (no pun intended?).

  2. Slightly unrelated to your post but relevant to the picture from this post, a friend of mine is going to a bachelor party that I shouldn’t be at because I have a beard. I was thinking of dressing up in the kind of garb (turban included) that it shown on the picture from your post. What do you think? Would it work?
    Anyway, I am sorry for asking this, but I was wondering if you would be willing to put a link on your site to mine. My http://frumpter.blogspot.com site is seriously lacking in Jewish readership and I could use the increased traffic (and more importantly, the feedback) on topics that I am writing about on the blog, and I don’t know how to attract more Jewish readers. I’d appreciate any suggestions you have, and I’ve enjoyed reading your site since I came onto the blog world in March. Thanks. -Zoe

  3. NUWAUBU, the Science of Sound Right Reason???
    I remember those guys!!!
    They were so much fun when i was a little Jewish kid in middle school and went on IRC to religion-themed chatrooms and demolished all their arguments. Heh. Freaks. I remember they had a a website of “100 Questions Jews Can’t Answer” and another one for Christians, Muslims, etc…. I answered every one of their half-ass attempts at bringing qushiyot against Judaism.
    Those were the days… all the Born Again Christians and Born Again Atheists trying to convert each other (and the rest of us), and then every so often a Nuwaubian would open their big mouth and we’d all beat on them for a while… Ah, memories…

  4. Farrakhan is into UFO’s:
    The Honorable Elijah Muhammad told us of a giant Motherplane that is made like the universe, spheres within spheres. White people call them unidentified flying objects (UFOs). Ezekial, in the Old Testament, saw a wheel that looked like a cloud by day but a pillar of fire by night. The Hon. Elijah Muhammad said that that wheel was built on the island of Nippon, which is now called Japan, by some of the original scientists. It took 15 billion dollars in gold at that time to build it. It is made of the toughest steel. America does not yet know the composition of the steel used to make an instrument like it. It is a circular plane, and the Bible says that it never makes turns. Because of its circular nature it can stop and travel in all directions at speeds of thousands of miles per hour. He said there are 1,500 small wheels in this mother wheel which is a half mile by a half mile. This Mother Wheel is like a small human built planet. Each one of these small planes carry three bombs.
    The Honorable Elijah Muhammad said these planes were used to set up mountains on the earth. […]
    The white man writes in his above top secret memos o the UFOs. He sees them around his military installation like they are spying.
    That Mother Wheel is a dreadful looking thing. White folks are making movies now to make these planes look like fiction, but it is based on something real. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad said that Mother Plane is so powerful that with sound reverberating in he atmosphere, just with a sound, she can crumble buildings.

  5. ‘Aliens’ actually live beneath the surface of the earth and have been around since the time god created the earth. Apparently, it’s in the talmud and zohar.

  6. oh jesus, here we go with the hollow earth theory. get out your tinfoil hats kiddies, i can smell david icke comin’ round the corner.

  7. does he have a tradition of how to use the torah to contact aliens? that’d be usefull. Back in the day I knew kabbalists in Jerusalem who claimed to, but they wuz chicken.
    The underground mole people eat the violaters of a certain kind of sin. I think it was chickenfucking or something.

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