Culture, Religion

Reconstructionists & Chabad Merge

A few days too late but amusing nonetheless:

The Jewish Telegraphic Agency reported today that leaders from the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation and Chabad Lubavitch will be announcing the merger of their movements in a press conference scheduled for this Sunday, March 4, the 15th of Adar.
Sources close to the negotiations were amazed by the exuberance, nay euphoria, expressed by professionals and lay people of the two organizations.
“No one is going to believe this!” giggled JRF’s Executive Vice President Dr. Carl Sheingold. Negotiators from Chabad’s international headquarters reportedly led all the negotiators in raucous song and dance. One said, “To bring liberal Jews under the wings of halacha (Jewish law) is definite proof that the Moshiach (messiah) is coming soon!”
Apparently some of the details are still being worked out…

Just kidding!

4 thoughts on “Reconstructionists & Chabad Merge

  1. hahahahahahahaha!
    i’m practicly dying of laughter!
    just kidding.
    that was the crappiest purim torah ever.
    chabad kicks ass.
    reconstructionists suck balls.

  2. I thought it was funny, partially because I think Chabad and the Reconstructionist movement are equally bizarre in their own special ways. And I’m sure both movements would be SO happy to gain that many members, I could see them actually considering it. And wouldn’t that be a trip…

  3. How stupid!
    Lame attempt at humor.
    Written by a Rabbi of course.
    Rabbis all think they are funny.
    Only really funny Rabbi I know of is Jackie Mason.
    Har, Har, Har “Rabbi” Shai Gluskin.

  4. chabad kicks ass.
    reconstructionists suck balls.

    not much of a devout jew, huh? real jews don’t speak like that.

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