17 thoughts on “Students Pass Over Prom

  1. This is just callous. We have Jewish holidays printed on all our calendars and organizers (along with Muslim, Canadian and Mexican ones). How can any school board not have one guy or one reference calendar, like in Biloxi Blues (where the sergeant calls the protagonist’s bluff about obscure holidays because as part of training Americans numerous and diverse he’s done ten seconds’ worth of research)?

  2. “Jewish students forced to choose.”
    What’s the big deal? That’s what living is galut is like. If you go to school or work with non-Jews or non-observant Jews, you will always have to choose between fitting in and halacha. Want to avoid this? Surround yourself with Jews. The world doesn’t owe the Jews any favors or consideration, and I don’t think it’s the best kiddush Hashem to make a big stink when non-critical conflicts occur.

  3. “I don’t think it’s the best kiddush Hashem to make a big stink when non-critical conflicts occur.”
    prom sucks anyways.

  4. Velvel: But could this ever happen with Christmas? Or even Kwanzaa? Prom sucks, all dances suck, the rallies we avoided like they were another kind of rallies, that’s not the point: the school is obligated to accomodate its students, not alienate them, as much as is possible. Checking a calendar is not the same thing as giving in to the Ravfia about obscure regulations that bring tears to grown men’s eyes but nevertheless can be waived for a fee, and it’s not a big stink or self-caricature (as with the whole wig thing) to ask that they look up a date in planning.

  5. Velvel is right yet strangely they did not choose eater weekend. I think its true when your living in area oblivous to a holiday they call the last meal. Well i think it still should be faught. America is so ignorant in so many ways. Sometime I wonder how they dress themseles. At least in England and France they are taking not hiding the fact they are anti-semitic and not beating around the bush like here. In my office there is a meeting in end Arpil and I dont think anyones is Jewish and they still looked at a calender to see when Passover is……

  6. The school really doesn’t have to care about the special holidays for a handful of students or the origins of their own holidays. There just aren’t enough Jews in the school who make it their business to influence the schedules.
    Surround yourself with Jews if being Jewish is more important than prom. Don’t expect to fit in and keep your identity simultaneously.

  7. Velvel, that is a nice observation, but I think we have an obligation to help other Jews be Jewish without requiring them to reject the society around them. Part of that obligation is to sensitize society to Jewish needs and to help Jews who are alienated by society’s religious insensitivity.
    As Jews there are two risks here. One, as I noted, is that there are aspects of society that need to be guided in a more tolerant and accomodating direction. The other is that there are weaker Jews among us who would choose prom or other “obligations” over their Jewish customs. We need to help them by protecting them from inappropriate secular commitments. We also need to help them by showing them that Jewish customs and observances are wonderful things. That can be hard to do if all of their friends are having fun at prom.
    Ultimately, those Jews who choose prom over Passover are responsible for their own choices. But, if we do nothing to help them in their choices, we are not entirely blameless.

  8. one:
    “be lawful where there is no law”
    two:
    “stick with only your own kind[, occasionally purging or at least excommunicating to keep ’em pure]”
    are these statements reconciliable or mutually exclusive?

  9. I couldn’t read the article how many students are Jewish? If there are just a small handful this could backfire and create illwill towards them if forced to change a date… on the otherhand
    “The other is that there are weaker Jews among us who would choose prom or other “obligations” over their Jewish customs. We need to help them by protecting them from inappropriate secular commitments. We also need to help them by showing them that Jewish customs and observances are wonderful things. That can be hard to do if all of their friends are having fun at prom”. Yisrael brings up a good point (for once,hehe) Is the prom on the night of the Seder?

  10. I agree with velvel,
    Whether or not you fight this with the school is ultimately immaterial. Fight them-I don’t think a fear of anti-semitism should stop you. But in the end to remain jews you have to surround yourself by jews.
    What are they gonna do at the prom in a school with so few Jews -dance with Non-Jews? Maybe its better that they skip the prom even if not on Passover.

  11. What are they gonna do at the prom in a school with so few Jews -dance with Non-Jews?
    […slapping foreheads]
    ughhh…

  12. This has nothing to do with whether or not it is a “Jewish” event. THe fact is, such scheduling would not have occured on a Christian holiday as their beliefs are a priority. It is not a question as to whether kids will go to prom or Seder. It is just not fair that they can’t go to both.

  13. “Surround yourself with Jews if being Jewish is more important than prom. Don’t expect to fit in and keep your identity simultaneously.”
    “in the end to remain jews you have to surround yourself by jews.”
    Ghetto mentality. It’s America, int he 21st century. Not perfect, not Israel, but it’s preposterous that the school “didn’t realize” it was Pesach. Go try to have absolutely no contact with non-Jews, I wish you a lot of hatzlacha. You may not be able to expect every person in this country to bend over backwards to suit your needs, but avoiding scheduling a *public* funded event on *Pesach* is a pretty low hurdle.

  14. Ghetto mentality? Survival mentality. All you have to do is look around at those who didn’t surround themselves by Jews. They are history.
    Surrounding yourself by Jews does not mean to avoid getting college degrees or working.
    It does mean for kids to go to school and for teenagers and adults to socialize only with Jews. If you do not teach your kids real Judaism and you go and further put them in the company of Non-Jews you can only expect the worst.

  15. My kid ( we live in Texas) has a Demolay retreat on the first night of Pesach. Guess where? The regional Jewish camp that my kids go to every summer! So do I let him go or not? Long ago, we had the local schools put Homecoming or a big football game on YK. If you live in Tx where Jews are super minorities you just deal with it. I have decided that my kids, once they get to post Bar Mitzvah will decide.
    This year we will have seder without my son. But we will have a late in the week closing seder. We have done this before…what a great way to have Pesach with an opening and closing seder.
    We also have a very casual and FUN seder.

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