This week's Jdate adventure: the novel-length emailer

Okay, I’m not even going to pretend to have a larger, philosophical point to this post. I just find it to be funny, and I think you might too. Hey, at least he wanted to know what I like, as well… do I like the Police? Do I like concerts? how often do I talk to my family? What trip was my favorite? Which movie theater do I like? … This email basically left nothing for us to talk about if we ever did get together. (A friend also pointed out that he said he taped his grandparents talking without their knowing, in paragraph 125. I hadn’t even noticed, because at that point I was just skimming, but it was quite puzzling, I must admit…)
A Jdate email I received:

It’s unusual for someone to have been to San Salvador. this detail caught my attention. so i thought i would send you an email. i went there for the wedding of a friend mine 4 years ago. it was a lot of fun. i went 6 times to south and central america actually. my trips have taken me to Guatemala, El Salvador, costa rica, ecuador, chile, argentina, and Brazil…
But ok, i admikt, i am writting to you because you are extremely attractive, so now I simply would love to know more about you…I would love to know the events / experiences that have shaped your personality, and what makes you dream for instance. But ok, let’s be fair, I need to tell you more about myself first…
I am a French man who has left a rural village in the South West of France to come to live in Boston. that was 8 winters ago. You may wonder why…well, I went to a Grande Ecole in France (equivalent of Ivvy League in the US) to get a Master in Management. Then I was luckily awarded a full-tuition scholarship to get an MBA here in Boston. when i first came, a “mild” winter like the one we enjoyed this year would have frozen me…Yet, yes I fell in love with Boston & the USA. I now work in investment finance as a senior portfolio manager of international equities. do not worry i will spare you and not bore you to death by writting about my job. My socialist French friends claim I would have sold my soul. i object to that, and claim I kept my Idealistic liberal views. Being part of the system does not mean one drop his ideals. my friends do not believe me. anyway, let’s go back to why I stayed, as I am sure you can not stand the suspense. I love Boston thanks to its parks and squirrels (they are so cute, are not they?. You are going to think I am weird now. For my defense squirrels are quasi extinct in France), the Charles river (I run by the Charles’ almost every day in summer as I live nearby, on Commonwealth Avenue in Back Bay), and the culture it has to offer even though it’s not a large city. I appreciate the fact it’s not an impersonal city. yet, many concerts (Gipsy Kings, U2,..)and expos. I went to The Police concert at Fenway park recently and loved it even though it ended so early…how about you? do you like The Police? What type of music do you like? Have you been to any concert lately? any concert you want to go to? As for me, I am trying to get tickets for the Aerosmith concert in September…
There are so many restaurants I love in Boston as well. I appreciate the diversity of the food one can get in Boston so much…How about you? What type of food do you like most? plus Boston enjoys a fairly diverse, young , and international crowd. In July there were a great French movie festival at the MFA…
i LOVE travelling. I speak 4 languages, have visited more than 30 countires in 5 continents. i have been in every continent except Africa…which is on my list to do a photo safari. but i guessi am so courageous i have not gone yet. how about you? what was your favorite trip? any place you are dying to go to?
i also love independent movies, but can enjoy funny silly movies such as “wedding crashers”. if you have not seen it, i do recommend you rent ‘walking on water”, an Israeli movie that won a price at the festival of Tel Aviv. very funny, yet touching, not overdone. i also recommend renting the French movie “Cote D Azur”. last year i have liked the Woody Allen movies “scoop” & “match point”. I usually do not appreciate Woody Allen’s psychotic atmospheres, but for once I felt moved and laughed. “paradise now”, “babel”, “brokeback mountain” are all “must see” in my humble opinion. Recently, i also saw and enjoyed both “Children of Men” and “Blood Diamands”. both movies showed violence, but the political statements were quite strong. in case you did not figure it out, i love going to both the Coolidge’s corner & the Kendal’s square movie theater. “The Lives of Others” & ” Volver” are my 2 favorites of the this year. I think the main characters acted superbly in both. Plus I really enjoyed the stories. I did not like the adaptation of “running with scissors” even though he book was great… and last week end, i went to see ‘Ratatouille”. it was so cute! a must see! On my loist for the coming week is “Paris Je t’aime”…how about you? do you like independant movies? have you seen any movie lately? any movie you would like to watch?
You may wonder if it’s hard to live away from my family. well, i do go back to France 2 or 3 times a year, and they come to visit me 1 or 2 times a year. plus we talk 3 or 4 times a week over the phone. so, that’s ok. I went to France a couple of months ago. i had gone to France for a business trip. i also took advantage of being there to take a few days off. I took my grand parents to Brittany. My mom came along as well. we visited Saint-Malo, the mont Saint-Michel, Omaha beach (one of the beach where the Americans landed on D day), the American cemetery, Carnac, and the semi-island of Quiberon. my grand parents loved it even though they are a bit old. it was so nice to spend time with them. i used my camcorder to tape them a bit. i had taped them for a long discussion about their past without them knowing about it! how about you. are you close to your family? how often do you see them, talk to them?
I look forward to hearing from you!!! Well, I would be more than happy to exchange many emails with you. However, from my past jdate experience (i just re-joined), I believe it’s best to meet to get to know someone. in my experience, sometimes the image one builds of somebody else in his or her mind may be different from the true person per se. meeting someone helps knowing the person better. that’s my humble opinion. of course i will respect your opinion whatever it may be. but personally i would prefer to chat over the phone or meet casually in person. plus it’s summer, we could meet casually for tea or coffee on Newbury street. it does not even have to last long. It’s totally up to you. I am also ready to write to you 10 lenghty emails such as this one. so please let me know what your preferences are and if you would like to chat over the phone or meet in person. Have a fantastic day!!!
Kind regards,

14 thoughts on “This week's Jdate adventure: the novel-length emailer

  1. A Frenchman who loves the food in Boston? Oh my God, lose this guy. I stopped there. I don’t need to know any more about him.

  2. I wonder if you should put a disclaimer in your jdate profile that says something like, “I may post your emails online for mass consumption.”
    I don’t think you’re being intentionally mean or anything (and of course it’s a good thing that you leave the names off), but don’t you think that these guys email you assuming that the email conversation is going to remain between them and you?
    I think it’s funny and all to read these emails from strange men… but I also feel kinda sorry for them. This guy is obviously a little wacko, but he also seems like a good-hearted guy who’s just trying to open up a bit (ok… a lot) in order to find the right person. He’s putting himself out there, and is putting his vulnerability at your mercy. It feels like you’re making fun of him, and it comes off as mean.

  3. Oh Honestly!
    He’s gushing. He’s trying to have a conversation without you in the room, anticipating questions he imagines you might ask, and asking questions that are designed to see if you do indeed have common interests.
    I say that if you like art films and The Police and traveling, he may actually be worth a shot.
    As for the thing with his Grandparents. It’s a tough issue, but we’re talking a couple of French Jews old enough to be his grandparents – I can see wanting to capture an honest talk about family history for posterity, and how knowledge of a recorder running could taint that.
    In short, I don’t think he’s a creep, and it’s just possible that he might be capable of listening, since he poses questions. Only a date or phone conversation will tell.

  4. I think I’ve come to agree with those who say it’s unfair to post these notes without permission, even without identifying information. So, alas for those of you who found them entertaining or enlightening, this will be my last.

  5. he has good taste in movies. ratatouille, the lives of others, and children of men were all fine films. and he speaks four languages! :::swooon:::
    admittedly, the email is pretty long. but he might just be lonely. what matters is whether he runs on like this in person, or whether he lets you get a word in.

  6. I’ve actually had a lot of success in getting jdate guys to agree that I could talk about funny things they did in public forums (this potentially explains why things don’t work out between me and jdate guys) and I’m sure most of them would agree to be blogged about if you phrased it correctly/knew them a bit before deciding they were completely hilarious.

  7. Hm… they are all great movies, and I have to say, for someone who tends towards loquacious, meandering, wordy, redundant, uselessly long and complicated sentences and emails and all sorts of missives (have I made my point yet?), he might just be someone who likes language.
    Honestly, that email didn’t seem that long to me.

  8. Well, I would defiitely take the chat over the phone or meet in person options over another email, but perhaps you should consider that he’s testing you… or even better, that he prefers to chat in person, and is trying to push the matter a little by making it look more useful to have a face to face versus email…?
    I don’t think he sounds all that bad, what the hell, just go have a coffee with the guy. If he can’t shut up for six hours, either you’ll never go out with him again, or you’ll marry him because it will be restful never to have to think of anything to say.

  9. Do you ever use the im feature instead of long emails? While I agree there’s something romantic to long letters, there’s definitely no way to get a sense of a person without a back and forth.
    Keep at it Yehudit and keep me posted. There are pearls among the oysters…

  10. To be fair, he does come off as a very interesting dude.
    Best line from the whole email though: “I am also ready to write to you 10 lenghty emails such as this one.”
    You could have just discovered the next Kerouac.

  11. Legally, you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your emails… However the definition of privacy has become defined by the secrecy paradigm, which the Supreme court has ruled that once you have disclosed this info to a third party you no longer have a reasonable expectation of privacy…
    Legal definitions aside, I would agree that an email sent to you in confidence is not something for public consumption… Guys go through a lot trying to ask a girl out, posting it on the internet only makes the good guys less likely to try.

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