Mishegas

Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM. (Astoria, NY)

There’s not much else to say except, God bless Cragislist!

WANTED:

One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.
We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!
Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from intimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for “precious”. This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.

  • Location: Astoria, NY
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay

PostingID: 1578516400

4 thoughts on “Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM. (Astoria, NY)

  1. created from “intimate matter”???
    I know a guy who can make one but the problem with giving out golems to random people is that they always try to make the golem work on Saturdays and then it demolishes the whole town. Never make a golem for someone without proper training in golem handling! It’s just irresponsible.

  2. I think if a rabbi can create a golem, he or she ought to be paid. If the local chavurah wants to do it instead, fine.

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