According to MSNBC:

In more good news for the victims of the tsunami: water is on the way. But not just any water. Kabbalah water.

Leaders of the currently hot off-shoot of Judaism have sent more than 10,000 liters of the trendy bottled water to the disaster-stricken people of Indonesia. The drink is the favorite of celebs such as Madonna and Demi Moore. “The Kabbalah Centre has begun raising tens of thousands of dollars to ship their water to South East Asia,” a Kabbalah spokesman told The Scoop. “Our goal is raising one million for this project.”

Apparently, Esther herself is helping raise funds for the Bergs, uh, I mean, for the victims.

If anyone happens to run into the materio-spiritual girl, feel free to (strictly metaphorically) smack her across the face for me. Thanks.

37 thoughts on “Puh-leez!

  1. does anyone believe the the kaballah center is anything other than a cult: bbc ran an expose last week on the london center, cult leader there blamed holocust on the jews themselves for not being attuned to the cosmic wave of the kaballah, tried to sell special water for hundreds of $$ (pounds actually); its a disgusting organization preying on jews and non jews alike, akin to scientology; its up to jews to declare it a fraud to prevent other jews and nonjews from getting sucked in

  2. I have to agree with you, sad and lonely “celebrities” like Britney, Madonna and Paris “slutbag” Hilton are doing it to try and bring some kind of meaning to their sad sad lives, and it makes me angry that they would consider themselves Jewish in anyway shape or form.

  3. krusty, just cuz a woman is comfortable and even public w/her sexuality doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a slut.

  4. There is a difference between being a slut and merely portraying yourself as one for material gain. The former is not the type of person I generally like being around. The latter is fine, but but G-d save the men who throw away their money for them.
    That said, association with the Kabbalah Center is reason enough to not be interested in any association with either.

  5. “There is a difference between being a slut and merely portraying yourself as one for material gain”
    Or worse yet…focused my thesis on Promiscuity amongst Adolescent Girls…you wouldn’t believe how many girls get labeled with “slut” due to a falling out with a popular boyfriend, or a jealous friend who spreads untrue rumors.
    And regarding Mobius’ comment:
    “a woman is comfortable and even public w/her sexuality doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a slut.”
    Uh yeah, whatever. Kinda reminds me of all those girls who said: “Oh sure, I’m super comfortable with the whole casual sex b/w friends thing”. Y’know the ones…educated…feminist, etc., etc. And two months into the relationship…and whammo, the guys not being attentive enough….not emotionally supportive enough…Men learn the hard way. In general, gender difference haven’t changed all that much over the years. But yes, there are exceptions.

  6. As an aside, my wife used to work at Hooter’s. It was a great deal. She had a lot of cash, and was able to take me out with the money. I had no problem with other guys financially supporting our relationship because they thought my then-girlfriend was attractive. It worked out well. But, the “casual sex b/w friends thing” is radically different.

  7. Uh, all slutism aside, the Kabbalah Centre may in fact be a cult, but they are sending water, which helps. And not just water, but water that stupid people are willing to pay a lot of money for. It’s not a selfish act. Besides, all the scientologists seem to be doing is faith healing.

  8. Alex has a point. Water which was previously available for marked up purchase by rich idiots will now actually be put to good use.
    I was thinking they should send over some of the profits from the water scam as well but maybe that’s assur since it’s really tzdaka taken from stolen money.

  9. South Park basically summed up Paris Hilton and the likes in one episode….And well, water is water. I find it quite humorous for these celebrities to be “studying” Kabbalah when one of the most important components is modest and purity, somthing most seriously lack…

  10. Guys, I would think that the Kabbalah Centre is profiting from this. I have no hard evidence, but I assume that the money that the celebs are raising is to *buy* the water and then send it. Maybe it’s discounted, who knows, but I think the Bergs are profiting– the celebs can still write everything off because the Centre has tax exempt status!

  11. I just watched the BBC expose of the Kabbalah centre and well, whatever it is, it is sick. Saying that a 6 year old boy riding his bike who gets hit by a car deserved to die because there was something in his conscience and then theres the Shoah stuff and people bringing cancer on themselves.
    What do you expect from an ex-insurance salesman?

  12. Okay, kids. There is a) no need for the misogynist name-calling on this site and b) Ronen, suggesting that someone “smack Madonna accross the face” is not cool, not funny, and not terribly shall-we-say derech eretz of you.
    Let’s hear it for treating other human beings with respect.
    I also think Madonna’s wayyy off the deep end, that “Kabbalah” is not Judaism, and that a lot of this magic-water-for-Tsnumani-victims stuff is offensive. I also believe that the most effective way to get those thoughts accross are attacking the ideas (and there’s plenty to slam, there) and not turn it into some stupid game of jr. high namecalling and/or threatening physical smackdown. Doesn’t make you look cool or mighty–just like you don’t have anything more sophisitcated to say.

  13. Danya! First off, lighten up. I wasn’t trying to look sophisticated or cool or “mighty.” Sheesh! I’m not concerened with my image. I was expressing my utter frustration and disgust at Madonna’s thick-skulled reaction to the Tsunami disaster. I was, in fact, attacking the idea primarily– by pointing out that she is raising money for the cult leaders moreso than she is for the disaster victims. And I didn’t suggest “smackdown,” but rather a smack across the face– a metaphorical wakeup call, a “helllooooo?” a “what the hell is wrong with you?” If a slap is what it takes to jog her brain, then I’m all for it.
    My frustration is only exascerbated by statements like yours, that Kabbalah is not Judaism. Kabbalah IS a part of Judaism! A spiritual, beautiful and enlightening part of Judaism. But the *Kabbalah Center* has misappropriated, exploited and basterdized that part of Judaism. We need to find a way to reclaim it and make sure that the world understands the distinction clearly.
    Lastly, maybe using the term “slutbag” with reference to Paris Hilton is misogynist and less than kind– if you take offense, I apologize for echoing Krusty’s sentiment. Really, though, I find her revolting– more because of her absolutely vapid personality than for her looks. Add to that the fact that she dresses like a skeezer and you can see why she’s a pretty tempting target.

  14. Yeah sorry guys, didn’t mean to cause all this controversy! I’m new *waves* I’m female myself, and I think she brings us down. But anyway, this isn’t about her, it’s about Kabbalah.

  15. Ronen, etc–
    I think the thing that bothered me about the language you used in the original post was–well, “smack accross the face” is pretty strong language. And even if you intented it in a more gentle, “wakeup” way, it certainly could be (and was, by me) read as something much, much more stronger and more violent than that. That’s perhaps something about language and specificity, and communicating tone through the written medium. I really read your original sentence as much more hostile than it seems you intended it to be.
    As for Kabbalah not being Judaism–I meant the Berg product that’s being marketed as Kabbalah. I lived a block away from the LA center and went to services and a class there just to have the chance to evaluate firsthand what they’re doing (ie to see if my already snarky opinions were based in reality.) And I can say quite comfortably that I am not at all comfortable with what they’re doing, and I believe that they have in fact placed themselves outside the camp of normative Judaism (in a way that other new movements, eg, have not.) Of course I’m not referring to the work of the Ari, or the Zohar, or many other aspects of the Jewish Kabbalistic tradition that has remained within the conversation of Judaism, radical as they were for their time. I could write a length about why I think they “stayed Jewish” in a way that I’m concerned that the Kabbalah Center people have not, but suffice to say that this is the distinction that I intended to make.
    Krusty, et al– I don’t care what gender you are. Misogynist language is toxic and highly, highly unhelpful. Regardless of who it comes from.

  16. In any case, while I’m not a fan of the term “slutbag” etc… I’m encouraged by the fact that we are using toxic, misogynistic terms to insult wacky semi-celebs instead of each other for a change….
    Baby steps, baby steps….
    Welcome Krusty.

  17. “Misogynist” means anything you say that a feminist doesn’t like. So I wouldn’t worry about that label overly much.

  18. Madonna (Shmester) and the rest of the celebrities deseve their new found fad of the month…ANyone gullible enough to buy red strings for $26 blessed by an ex-insurance salesman gets what they pay for
    Also I dont think the People in SE Asia care what there bottled water says on it. They’ll happily take it.

  19. “I’m female myself, and I think she brings us down.” Maybe so, but not quite as much as using term slut does. Of all the ways to negatively judge people (and when it when it comes to Paris Hilton there are plenty), that’s gotta be one of the worst. Sorry to keep draging this out, but it bugs the hell outta me.

  20. Maybe I’m just playing devil’s advocate…
    But, first girl, does that mean that you condone slutty behavior? I mean, if a guy is a prick, I’ll probably want to say as much. So why the exception for a slut?
    I understand your concern, but it seems like this is the “women deserve special treatment” brand of feminism way more than it is the equality-minded brand.

  21. Definetly not advocating that women deserve an exception. I prefer all-out patriarchy over the idea that women shouldn’t have to prove themselves just like everybody else. In fact, my problem with the word stems from the hypocisy of women claiming to be superior to men and then turning around and being downright mean and judgemental. If women want to be treated equally, they need to prove that they’re above all that. As far as condoning slutty behavoir, as least it doesn’t hurt anyone.

  22. What concerns me, is that a majority of the victims are Muslim. I wonder if they’ll pour the water out in protest, just on the principle of the thing. Indonesia has already made it clear that they don’t want Israeli doctors there.

  23. I had the same boyfriend from age 15 to age 23 and never cheated. Yet somehow I was labelled a “slut.” Explain that to me!

  24. Red, if I knew you better, maybe I could. Or maybe guys are just jerks. What’s it matter? A single misuse would not negate the legitimacy of a word.

  25. It sounds like Red was mislabeled. But, that does not indict the word. Besides, which would be better, using the label, “slut,” or being descriptive, eg., “she casually had sex with, or performed oral sex on, about 12 guys last year .” The connotation is the same, and sometimes the statement of reputation is more likely accurate. Interestingly, US courts are more likely to admit evidence that describes reputation than evidence that describes particular bad acts.

  26. And if a guy casually had sex with, or performed oral sex on, about 12 girls last year, is he referred to by a label that has the same negative connotations as “slut” does?
    You’ll probably say that you disapprove of that behavior, but that doesn’t change the fact that in general our culture is actually more likely to heap praise on that guy and call him a “player” than to disparage him.

  27. I’ll call him an asshole, a misogynist, a whore, a son-of-a-bitch, … these terms may not be quite as loaded as slut, but I’m trying. I can be descriptive when I don’t simply label – he uses women, he takes advantage of women, he treats women like trash, …

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